Dear Sean, it's time you learned the truth. You're a disappointment. You're the me that failed and I feel disgust whenever I think about that. The only reason I'm ever intimate with you is that it's the only chance I have at bedding someone as attractive and successful as me. -Colin
Send my muse anons pretending to be someone they care about. The twist: make these anons as heartbreaking, disappointing, or anger-inducing as possible.
This one’s just cruel, because no matter how many assurances he gets to the contrary, deep down a tiny part of Sean will always worry this is one side of how Colin feels about him. A variation of this basically being his nightmare simulation didn’t make things better except help bring it to the attention of his lovers.
@bosselimitchell replied to your post: Guilty or Innocent (Sean)
((I’d like to know what surprise Sean is guilty of ruining, please :)
“Well, there’s been a couple ‘o smaller incidents, but I’m guessing you’re after something a little more juicy than tellin’ a mate not to buy a thing ‘cause I was already getting it for their birthday. So uh, how about something that’s maybe not quite ruining a surprise at is making it a hell of a lot more awkward and embarrassing. God, I’m cringing just thinking about it again...
“Okay, so uh, me an’ Colin were still kind of getting started, lovers/friends-with-benefits, occasional meetings in London, that sort of thing. Kind of a big secret still, media didn’t know about it or anything. Neither did my mum. So one night, we popped by my apartment for something I needed to pick up before we went back to the hotel, but we were already getting kind of, uh, amorous? Like a not-insignificant chance we would end up shagging on my crummy bed before we’d get there.
“Now here’s the thing; my mum has a key to my place, and had texted me earlier in the day that she’d be stopping by to ask for some extra dosh. I said I’d meet her but then I’d completely bloody forgotten about it.
“So try and picture her, sitting and watching the telly, when suddenly the door opens and in come her son, her “other” son she’d known nothing about, blatantly feeling me up, and one of us, I forgot which, loudly musing how he can’t wait to fuck the other up a wall.”
By now Sean is very pink in the face and rubbing his burning ears and neck.
“W-we uh... we ended up having a sobering sit down with her, explaining what’s going on. I’d originally planned to slowly break her the news about Colin being “me” and then us knowing each other at a later date, but that didn’t end up happening. A real bloody cold shower that was, for everyone involved. Colin hadn’t seen his own mum in many years, but he was nothing more than a stranger to mine. She left after an hour, but all me an’ Colin were left in a mood for was crawling in some hole and piling dirt on us. Bloody mortifying, that was.”
For your otps have you thought about who dies first?
Seeing this question going around the fandom, I was both kinda dreading and hoping to find it in my inbox. Putting this under the cut because I’m going kind of in-depth into this and it can get a bit morbid at times.
So… *deep breath* I’m not sure how “canon” I’m keeping it, but I do have a sort-of setting for imagining very old Meryl, Colin and Sean, mostly when I’m in the mood for very bittersweet and sad feels. The question of ‘will it end up being canon?’ stems mostly from the fact that it feels as if SR4 had never happened because they’re all still on Earth.
Jeez I’m really dragging this on, right? Okay, so:
Sean dies first, many years before the others. Some manner of cancer. Considering that’s how he’d lost his father, he and Colin probably have a predisposition for developing it and Sean didn’t luck out. He fought long and hard against it, but it kept coming back and eventually it overpowered him. He still lived to at least his sixties or early seventies though.
Meanwhile Colin’s eyesight kept deteriorating until he was nearly blind and Meryl had to take care of him. She remained surprisingly spry and capable until a very ripe old age. As Colin aged further though, his memory started to falter. At first he’d have trouble remembering what had happened earlier that day or last week, but as time passed on he slipped further and further into senility until most of the time it was as if he was living a couple of decades in the past, believing that Sean was still alive and asking Meryl where the man was. For both of their sakes, Meryl eventually just started telling him that Sean was away on a trip and that he’d be back home soon, not to worry. It was easier than to explain Colin the “news” that their lover had been dead for a long while, over and over again.
Every so often and with decreasing frequency, Colin would become lucid again and realize what’s really going on, remembering little snippets of recent events, and they’d both cherish those rare moments. His one big regret is not being able to see her face anymore. One night while in his late eighties, he passes away in his sleep, leaving just Meryl. She follows him a few years later.
As for my other ships, I can’t really say. Something tells me Eli lives to his seventies, no more. Whoever was his lover until then will probably outlive him.
If Nigel doesn’t blow up along with the rest of the Earth, he ends up falling victim to a drunken hit-and-run driver at age 56.
I really haven’t thought that far ahead with my ships with princessdemeter’s Colins. And Tina is 17 years older than Meryl, so she likely dies long before Meryl does, unless it’s the unlikely but amusing situation where she lives well over a hundred just so she could continue tormenting Colin.
Who holds the umbrella when it rains - Colin. He’s always seen it as a gentlemanly gesture and Sean won’t complain, though he might blush just a little bit (Sean’ll say it’s from embarrassment, but that’s only half the truth)
Who is the grumpiest in the morning - Hard to say, whichever one had nightmares and didn’t sleep well that night.
Who worries more when the other is sick/hurt - Colin when it’s illnesses or minor injuries, Sean when Colin’s been wounded from Saints business.
Who plays pranks on the other - Sean likes doing very harmless little stuff to Colin sometimes, but only when he feels sure that Colin wouldn’t really get mad at him.
Who is always the first to suggest cuddling on the sofa - Colin. Though Sean is very eager to join him.
Who insists on creating nicknames for the other - Neither really? Even though ‘Sean’ used to be Colin’s name for the first 17 years of his life, he has no problem calling Sean by it. But I guess if it had to come to someone making up nicknames, it’d be Sean.
Who drools on the other when they’re asleep - Sean when he’s wrapped himself around Colin.
Who says ‘I love you’ first - The very first time it was Sean, and we know how that turned out. :’| But later when they’re back together Colin consciously tries to initiate it at least half of the times.
How Sean and Colin finally end up as a romantic couple even though they'd agreed not to
Or in other words, Colin is an idiot.
TTB: My headcanon at the moment is that they'd had to break up for a few months because they realized Sean had fallen in love with him and Colin was developing feelings too, which was something they had agreed they weren't supposed to do (Colin was conflicted about wanting to stay faithful to Meryl). Sean begged him not to leave, but Colin didn't want things to get complicated. But even back with Meryl, he can't get Sean out of his head and realizes he misses him. Meryl sees him moping around and generally looking lovesick and suggests that he and Sean should talk things through. She just wants Colin to be happy again and if that means she has to share him with Sean...
Colin calls Sean and then goes back to London again. Stays at the same hotel as their first meeting, symbolic of maybe staring anew. When Sean arrives they both just give each other the longest hug they'd ever shared. Everything feels alright again.
(Curse you for making me ship them c'': Curse youuuuu!)
M: Oh man.. I'm so glad I can influence you in some shippy ways ^^
--
((there was some off-topic discussion for a while))
TTB: "Colin and Sean are reunited and hugging and caressing each other's hair" ^w^
TTB: I was thinking hair hair. The chest hair will happen later, when they have enjoyed the other's company enough and things start getting horizontal between them ;)
M: Awh.. Taking things slow, eh?
TTB: Well, they had not seen each other for months. No calls or anything. They thought they would get over each other. They didn't. So now they're together again and for a while just enjoy the fuzzy feelings inside ^^
M: Heeeeeeeey! I haz an idea =)
They could communicate.. Via SNAIL MAIL!!! :D
Have dirty little talks through them etc. xD
TTB: Aaactually, now this is a long headcanon, but basically...
Colin started missing Sean after they'd been separate for a while. So he just casually looked Sean up on Facebook/Saintsbook/whatever social media site. Just checking up on Sean, he told himself, he just wanted to make sure Sean was alright and not harassed by Nigel, that's all. Sean wasn't very active on his profile, but Colin could tell that Sean was pretty fucking miserable. But Colin wasn't gonna just post and ask how he was; they were supposed to be broken up after all because they'd developed feelings. Buuut Colin still wanted to get info from Sean somehow. So he cooked up a fake profile page and friended him on the grounds of 'hey we have some similar interests'. Just enough to get closer access to Sean's profile and casually talk to him a bit without arousing suspicion. He felt bad for tricking Sean. But then they got to talking. And Sean slowly started to trust this new "friend", who he thought was some ex-Brit who had recently moved to the States for work. And Sean confided his heartbreak and that he was really really missing someone in his life (never mentioned Colin's name, but Colin obviously knew who he was talking about).
At first Colin tried to convince Sean to move on. He figured if he just talked to him enough as the "friend", Sean would eventually take the message to heart and get over Colin. But he didn't, and then Colin couldn't really "end" the friendship so easily either. The tangle of lies was getting ever thicker and Colin found himself stuck in it. And what's worse, he kept waiting for the chance to get to chat with Sean again, to just read him talking about his day and his feelings, imagining Sean's expressions and voice as he did so. And Colin really started feeling in love and missing Sean as well.
Finally, with some prodding from Meryl, he dares to call Sean and tell him that maybe they deserved a second chance. He didn't mention the double identity thing. But it would have to come out eventually, and when it finally does, Sean would be really pissed off and feeling betrayed. Not only was his new friend, whom he had come to like a lot, nonexistent, but Colin had deceived him for months. He'd thought Colin was better than Nigel, but it turned out he was just as apt at playing mind-games. It takes a while until he feels he can fully trust Colin again.
M: Great.. Now I want to smack Colin upside down. Idiot male.. -.-
Tricking poor Sean like that.. However good his intentions were. Bad Colin, bad!
But otherwise.. I loved this idea :)
TTB: Yes, that was dickish on Colin's part. He thought it was gonna be an easy little thing, to cook up a fake person, but then the illusion became much harder to maintain than he had anticipated. He tries to tell himself that what he was doing wasn't stalking, but... yeah it kinda was. >:/
*smacks Colin for you*
"Ow!"
"That's for lying to Sean!" *smacks again*
"OW! And what was that for!"
"That's for being an idiot and not getting back together with him sooner. You knew you had feelings for him and you could talk to him every day, meanwhile Sean was left heartbroken from being dumped."
"That was the point! He was supposed to feel sad and then get over me!"
"And he might have if you hadn't prodded him all the time."
"Wait a minute love, now you're being hypocriti-OW!"
(This was written a few months back, so some of it has been replaced by new headcanons by now)
TTB: I've had some Sean-in-SR4 thoughts for a few days. He's incredibly clingy with Colin - not a sign of a healthy emotional state. Fuck, nothing about their "relationship" really feels healthy. Eli starts getting a lot better when he meets Pierce, but when Sean meets Colin he doesn't. Colin is what he wants, but not what he needs. But he's left too fucked up by Nigel that he either doesn't realize it or chooses to ignore it.
...What I'm trying to say is, I know you really really want this to a happy and fluffy feel-good ship, but even after months I still can't do it. It would never realistically work out like that between them.
M: You.. You.. You are a eeeevil little hooman. They deserve a happy ending.. Even if they have shitload of crap to get through first..
Maybe.. When Colin and Meryl have a baby and Sean starts spending more time with them. Maybe babysitting the little one.. His mental state will improve and they are starting to move in a better direction.. All of them.. 8-)
TTB: Sean's problem is that wishes he could have Colin all to himself. And we both know that can never happen. Sean knows that too, but still doesn't let go of his infatuation with Colin even though he should probably learn to move on.
Meryl and Colin having a baby? Well that'd already need to be an AU because I'd prefer the Earth NOT getting destroyed for that, but even then it would be like, I dunno, six or seven years after Colin and Sean met? That's a lot of time for Sean to just pine after Colin with occasional meetings.
I dunno, it might make for a fluffy happy-ending AU, but that would be about as good as it gets.
M: Well.. As long as you don't push me deeper into my depression by killing one of them or some other crap like that :D
A bit more about Colin's cologne written to M, nsfw-ish.
It was hard to concentrate on the lecturer in class. Damn Sean and Colin in my head had decided that of course thins would be the most suitable time to start fricking. :P Also I have discovered that all it takes is for me to imagine Sean breathing in the scent of Colin's cologne on his neck and I'm instantly turned on and thinking smutty thoughts. xD I don't even have a clear idea what that perfume would smell like, just that the ingredients are apparently equal doses of horniness and 'fuck-I-need-to-have-you-right-now'.
Sean is addicted to that scent and asks how much it costs, maybe he'll buy some for himself when he misses Colin. Colin names an outrageous price and after a moment of silence Sean asks if that's gonna get him a whole pint or what. Nope, just a regular small bottle. Colin has it with him, but since it's starting to get empty he decides to give it to Sean as a gift.
... And you just know that when Sean's gonna feel lonely, he'll open and smell the bottle (not even spray it, just smell) while his other hand touches his own body just the way he likes it.
