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Taking A Rest

Sebek X Prefect

Summary: Sebek is struggling mentally with thinking Malleus and Silver don’t like him nor care about him. Yuu wants Sebek to rest for once in his life but Sebek had to be convinced by Lilia to go with Yuu for a rest. Sebek thought that resting would make him slow and weak but now he seems to like this ‘resting’ thing if he’s doing it with Yuu.

Silver… everytime I do something extraordinary, Silver gets more attention still from Malleus. I just want to be told that I am appreciated and loved by him… my older brother figure.

There was an evening where Yuu came to the Diasomnia dorm to be around me and mentioned that they wish for me to slow down and take a rest. My mind was boggled at the thought of resting, I thought it would make me slow and weak. Too much of those two things to protect Malleus from harm. But that thought was a misleading one according to Master Lilia. He told me that my grandfather learned to have a ‘work-life’ balance. One that made him more effective to protect Malleus’ mother. He found what he was fighting for and just fighting for your queen or your king was not good enough to be effective on the battlefield to protect them. My grandfather was also fighting for his family and friends. They gave him more motivation to remain vigilant and strong on the battlefield. Resting is how he found that epiphany. Lilia told me that he couldn’t find said epiphany and all his life during those days was to fight then to train, fight then to train, etcétéra. Day in, day out. He’s surprised he even survived. That life-style he played was simply fatiguing, one where he felt no emotion for those he killed; and he wishes Silver and I to not face it. He told me Silver rests while on his own accord or not because of his issues and whatever he gets in rest, he makes up for in training. Malleus does the same, he spends half his time doing things he enjoys and the other half studying and schooling in general. He now rests more than trains, but that is expected for his age, he said. Each and every word he’s told me has been in my mind and now I will try to gain a ‘life-work’ balance if it will make me more helpful to Malleus. Master Lilia also wants me to find what else I’m fighting for other than my king. This is a hard egg to crack.

I look to Yuu and say, “Human, I would like to rest with you.” I don’t know why I chose the human over my brothers and father figure but I did. This seemed to please Master Lilia and Yuu was surprised but they placed a finger on their chin and decided, “Let’s rest with something you might enjoy, taking a walk.” So we put on something warm and went outside into the cold dark night.

The breeze was a nice breeze for any human to run around without a jacket on. But of course, I left mine on. Crocodiles cannot be out in the cold without layers. Stupid human. Anyway, we walked and talked. The North Star was bright and a beautiful sight to behold, surrounded by soft clouds and no moon that night. I spoke so highly about it and mentioned that my characters in my books follow that star along with a needle compass if they cannot find it. Since that’s what we do in Briar Valley and what other countries used to do. They spoke that they want to take photos of it for their art they create. But after an hour of this walk, they started to get cold and wished to sit down on a bench nearby us. They put on their jacket that I made them bring and sat beside me on the bench.

A stray dog came by us and wanted to play, it handed a slobbery ball in my hand and I said, “Is it sure it wants me to throw it? It will be running for miles if it does.” The dog only looked up at the ball excitedly and I looked back at Yuu and they shrugged. I threw the ball in a direction for the pup and it ran after it. But I heard the ball drop nearby, me of all people and only a minute later, the dog was back with the ball, wagging its tail and dropping the round object at my feet. I stared at my hand and I was astonished. “Is this rest making me weak?!” I cannot have that! Malleus needs a knight of strength. Not a knight of weakness! Yuu shook their head and informed me, “You cannot get weak from one measly rest, especially one that’s walking. You might’ve just had an instinct of wishing to care for a creature lesser than you, the ball fell closer by so the dog’s energy wouldn’t be gone within the first throw. It’s a human thing.” I looked at Yuu and sighed, I picked up the ball and threw it again and as the dog rushed after it and brought it back, my throw got less and less. But the excitement I gave that dog made me feel so appreciated, so loved. But when helping Malleus, I feel under appreciated and I’ll be it… unloved. More like a nuisance. As I picked up the ball and threw it another time, I watched as the dog ran after it. But this time, the dog stopped and just sat by us. He wasn’t excited or happy, I panicked and tried to grab the ball again but the dog took it in his mouth, and looked at me and once I let him be, he dropped it and laid down.

I looked at Yuu, “Human! Why is it not dropping the ball at my feet anymore?!” Yuu looked confused and said, “Have you never had a pet before? Branwen doesn’t count.” I shook my head, “No, none of us had pets before that I know of, my father used to but not anymore.” Yuu sighed, “Alright… The dog just needs a rest, you tuckered him out. But in about ten minutes, he’ll try and hand you that ball again.” I looked at the dog who looked up at me and I nodded, “Right. Okay.” I then stared ahead, quietly. I couldn’t think of anything to talk about or say but I remember what Yuu said a bit ago, it has registered and has now begun to bug me but I don’t know why I’m not too upset. I hear Yuu speak, “You being quiet is a scary thing, are you alright?” I looked over at them and responded, “Oh nothing, I was just thinking about something.” Yuu looked at me and asked, “About what?” I sighed and leaned back on the bench. “What you said earlier about me wanting to care for a lesser creature, you said it was a human thing and I’m not necessarily mad about it but it worries me if anything.” Yuu looked at me confusedly. “I’m worried that if I accept my humanity, will I be allowed to return to Briar Valley? I was allowed to stay there because of Lilia, my mom, my siblings and the fact that I ‘was fae enough they guessed’. I may be Malleus’ guard, but would that still be enough? It’s better to be fully human there than half one. I’m an abomination to most of the fae there and yet they tolerate me, but if I were to accept my humanity, would they tolerate it?! They despise humans there!” Yuu looked worriedly at me and placed a hand on my shoulder, “They allow Silver there and I know you said being a full human there is better than a half fae but are you so sure about that?” I shook my head, “It feels like I should be sure…” Yuu sighed, “Sebek, if they try and keep you from staying at Briar Valley, you know Lilia is going to make them allow you to as well as Malleus—” I got Yuu’s hand off my shoulder and said, “The thing is, I’m not so sure Malleus would push for me to remain by his side, not even Branwen. I’m unsure about Silver’s stance on that too. But I know Lilia would.” I stared ahead, “My mother, sister and brother would…” Yuu leaned on me as the wind blew, they shivered. “I’m sure all of them would, Sebek. Despite how they act, they love you with every fiber of their being. Malleus, Branwen and Silver are the usual ‘big brothers’ that see their little sibling every day. Especially when their sibling is glued at the hip with them.” Yuu smiled reassuringly at me and I felt the corner of my mouth arch slightly. Then the dog came over with the ball and dropped it at my feet again. My smile got wider and more noticeable and I began to throw the ball for the dog again.

Some time in the evening went by and we made our way to Ramshackle Dorm. Yuu put on a movie and we ate a good dinner and watched it. A relationship in the movie was deteriorating because of the fact that the two leads are struggling with one feeling like they’re always giving and never receiving and Yuu was saddened by it, I could tell but they didn’t cry. At the end of the movie, I looked at them with concern and they said, “I’m fine, I never had a relationship where I felt like that or anything…” They smiled awkwardly and I arched my brow and argued, “I know you did, you consented to Lilia showing your memories you’re remembering from your life away from here to us.” Yuu sighed. “Alright alright… yeah, that scene of the one feeling used upset me.” I nodded, “It’s alright, human.” I reassured them. “I would like to get in something more comfortable than outside clothes. You can turn around.” They suggested. “Okay.” I affirmed what they said and turned around. Yuu got up and spoke, “Though I don’t mind if you watch me, I’d think your ‘knight’s chivalry honor’ or whatever would make you freak out if you did.” I was confused and before I said anything, I noticed they were struggling with something. “Do you need help?” I asked and they sighed, “Yeah, I’m struggling to get my bra off.” I nodded, “Then I shall close my eyes whilst helping you.” Yuu shrugged, “I’ll guide your hands then.” They turned their back to me and I closed my eyes, put my hands out and they helped me feel for the back strap and I unhooked it. Then I turned around once again. “I don’t understand why you care, because even within the knight’s code, I’d be considered an object, a harlot.” Yuu said and I felt offended that they would think that me and any other knight would consider them a harlot. But I held my tongue about that lecture for now. Yuu then walked over next to me in a night dress, placed a hand on my shoulder and let me know, “You can look now.” I turned to look at them and that’s when I decided to tell them, “To be honest, I only look away because I wish for you to feel important.” That seemed to have caught Yuu off-guard and they blushed. “I…” they couldn’t speak.

I took that moment to start my lecture and scold, “A knight’s code doesn’t discriminate against any femme presenting person and being in general. A knight is always chivalrous to any femme presenting person who’s been insulted or treated badly. If I were to witness the femme person being insulted or hurt and I do not step in, I must rid myself with my own blade or beg for forgiveness, especially if I am the one to hurt them. If I witness foul activity like that of soliciting the femme presenting person who isn’t consenting, I must duel that person or fellow knight most likely to the death. Every femme presenting person is royalty and above you no matter how little or many partners they have! That is the knight’s code of chivalry. That and that alone. No discrimination. Just respect and worship.” Yuu looked shocked and albeit a little lost, so I shortened my rant apologetically, “No matter who you are Yuu, a knight’s code of chivalry counts you as a power I must respect, protect and make sure you feel as important as you are.” I smiled partially, to be honest I was feeling quite cocky. Yuu blushed furiously and scolded me, “Alright that’s enough, idiot!” I felt a frown come to my face, “Not the response I hoped to hear,” I then grinned again because I felt a laugh coming on, knowing how Yuu can be. “But I can’t say I didn’t expect it.” I added and Yuu leaned in me and punched my chest, it felt like a mosquito bit me, “Just stop… idiot.” I held Yuu close and said, “Very well, human.”

The coo-coo clock in the lounge struck the curfew time of ten at night and I gasped, “I hadn’t gotten permission from Malleus to stay here tonight! I have to go, it’s curfew!” I released Yuu and ran toward the door to leave the lounge. But I paused and looked back at Yuu, “Sorry human, I’ll see you in the morning!” I said and I went over and kissed Yuu on the cheek then I ran out the lounge and out the doors of Ramshackle.

Once I returned to the Diasomnia dorm, I processed what I just did and I grinned at myself and looked at the mirror I’d just come through. Honestly huffing and puffing from my run here. Lilia appeared behind me and teased me, “You’re back past curfew, how was your date~ with Yuu?” I looked back, “I don’t know, was it a date? Regardless, I enjoyed my resting time and I believe I know now what I’m fighting for. Thank you master Lilia. I must get some sleep now.” I bowed at Lilia and then went toward my bedroom and saw Silver in the hallway who looked at me with a teasing grin, “Did you enjoy your time with Yuu?” He also teased me (a given), and I couldn’t be mad, “Yes actually. Goodnight Silver.” I went toward my bedroom and Silver seemed to be shocked that I didn’t react, he asked, “Did you find Malleus? He hasn’t come back tonight.” He was trying to make me react negatively in his eyes, loud and boisterous. “Malleus has Branwen, he’ll be fine.” I say behind gritted teeth. Then I heard Master Lilia pipe in to stop him, “Silver, leave the boy alone! You go get Malleus’ roaming ass. Goodnight Sebek!” I am relieved that Lilia stepped in and I smiled and remembered my resting night with Yuu as I got dressed to go to bed and plopped on my it, slowly falling asleep in a blissful daze.

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