#sed nonsense

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Demon Lighter

Well I know what AU I'm drawing next.. (These are from the hoyofest videos!)

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I'M BUYING TWO, ONE TO STAY IN THE BOX AND ONE TO DISPLAY. FINALLY MY BOI IS GETTING A NENDO

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Lighter headcanons - NSFW / MDNI

Some more headcanons for Lighter~ will add to this periodically.

1. Lighter is a very physically active man with a lot of stamina, physically he probably does enjoy it fast/rough paced, but I think as a person he's very gentle/ afraid to hurt or upset people he cares about so I think he'd be gentle more often than not... Probably have to be goaded into being rougher but I think he'd enjoy it when he is!

Basically I think he would be very careful/ gentle early into a relationship and test his limits slowly, he's definitely got that gentlemanly manner about him and would be a stickler for consent. He's the kind of guy I can see being really, really turned off being rough or trying something new if there's any signs he's hurt his partner (especially considering his career and past, roughness and potential of hurting a loved one could be a trauma trigger?), or any negative implication from it at all. It'd probably take him a while and a lot of convincing to consider trying it again. He's a big squish under the cool, tough guy facade.

I think he'd enjoy gentle sex or slow sex anyway, he seems like a people pleaser so his biggest turn on is his s/o and their enjoyment, plus sex that’s the total opposite to the pace of his fast paced, dangerous life from time to time?? I think that would probably feel like a nice break for him. He's definitely the sort to switch things up in that regard.

2. I feel like he totally has a praise kink. Praise him, he wants to be praised. I feel like he’s awkward/shy with genuine, soft compliments on his appearance though.. Seems to be canon (the 'handsome' scene with the proxies)

3. Lighter is such a people pleaser, so I think seeing his partner enjoying whatever he's doing would be a huge turn on for him. Same with noisy sex, I can see him liking it loud. I think if he was with a really quiet partner he'd worry he's not doing a good job or they're not enjoying it- probably lay awake at night worried about it for weeks or months into a relationship before eventually saying something.. I think he'd be quiet during the deed though.

4. Lighter has stated himself canonically the main reason he wears shades is due to fear of eye contact. I have a whole other headcanon of why that is- but I think this would heavily affect him in the bedroom. Unless his partner has spent time helping him get past that, eye contact would be avoided and he'd probably even try to wear shades during the deed. Anxiety and discomfort if eye contact happens would be a pretty big boner killer, so he's probably quick to avoid sexual encounters post underground fighting days, especially if that anxiety hasn't been discussed… he'd need a lot of patience and understanding in this regard. I think without sensing that patience from someone, there's zero chance of a relationship let alone sex. 5. Related to the above, I think his common positions to opt for are those like doggy, where eye contact is unlikely if not impossible. I don't think they’re necessarily his favourite positions, though. Lighter strikes me as very devoted, the kind of man who wants to be close to his partner, so help him tackle his anxieties around eye contact and he'd probably enjoy the more intimate positions the most where he gets to feel close to them- I also think he'd enjoy seeing his s/o face when he gets them to climax, cocky little shit.

6. Lighter is a man willing to tease just in general, so there's no way this doesn't apply to the bedroom. He can also take what he dishes out, honestly I think he'd like being teased back and know his s/o is willing to match his energy. Draw something out like oral, verbal teasing etc-

7. He’s a natural leader (Even if his past would have him heavily disagree) and I think this would apply in the bedroom. Lighter’s not a pushover, if he's comfortable with someone he’ll take the lead… But on the flipside, I think as someone who's always looking out for others rather than himself and states multiple times he doesn't like making decisions anymore (yay trauma) he'd likely never ask for it BUT he'd appreciate his s/o taking initiative, probably even get excited if they showed some dominance (He wouldn't 'always' make it easy for them, I feel like he's a teaser in bed so he might push back for that reason… Or he might just think ‘cool, I can sit back and let someone else make the decisions’ and just let it happen.. He’s a pretty chill person, I don't see it affecting his ego to let his s/o take the lead or try to be more dominant with him once in a while) he’d probably also take months into a relationship to ‘ask’ for something he wants specifically for 'himself.' He's a giver, not a taker- at times very much to his detriment.

8. He's a big softy and definitely a cuddler after sex (if it’s a well established relationship where he's been able to open up over time and not just some quick fling). I also headcanon he likes a lollipop after. It probably used to be smokes, but now he's quit? Cutely wrapped candy instead!

9. Lighter can definitely go a few rounds in a row, only 'break' needed would be the refractory period. If he can fight 100 men and still come out standing, he can go multiple rounds in the sack-

His s/o is best not to ask him to prove how many rounds he can go, not unless they're ready for the results of that challenge. I feel like challenging Lighter is a little death sentence (look up the french use of 'la petite mort' aka little death and you'll get the joke)

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Checking if their colours work/ don't clash... How did her hand end up there? Take off the heels and she's the perfect height to cup the booty...

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Lighter headcanons - SFW edition

For funsies, realised I had all these written down and never shared them anywhere.

【Ｈｅａｄｃａｎｏｎ　1 】 - Very little is explained about Lighter’s childhood/family, but I personally think he likely grew up in a pretty poor family, parents were possibly absent a lot of the time, likely no longer around; dead or otherwise. I feel like he’s had to raise himself quite a bit, in a manner of speaking; which probably leads into why he's so adamant on /not/ asking for help, he's possibly never been shown it's okay? He's patient when others need help, but it feels like he hasn't had that guidance to show he can ask for it, too. He probably never could with his parents? But I'd say they're long dead.

I think this would explain choosing to fund a Mercenary group, which is a really dangerous career choice, in what I imagine was his early twenties? Plus being confident enough to take the role of their leader when it seemed like he was one of the youngest in the group; if you've had to raise yourself, you're used to being in charge. Then there's getting so close with Ratena, Nick and Dane, as well as their families... I think he definitely saw them as his own family, honestly I get the feeling they were probably closer to a family than his biological one ever was. Though it makes the survivor’s guilt and the loss of his crew hit that much harder…

【Ｈｅａｄｃａｎｏｎ　2】 - Lighter is 100% the kind of person who wouldn’t squish bugs, he’d find a cup and take them outside. I think he’d also feel really guilty if he accidentally caught a spider’s leg in the process or something. No one can convince me otherwise.

【Ｈｅａｄｃａｎｏｎ　3 】 - Lighter claims to be a lightweight at one point in ZZZ, this seems to be canon. But I think he’s also concerned if he drinks ‘too much’, he’ll start talking about the things he bottles up- he doesn’t talk about his past much and no one in the Sons of Calydon actually know much at all about what he was doing before he became their Champion, not even Big Daddy(Outside of the fact Big Daddy knows he was stuck in the underground fights for a while to pay off debt). He prefers to keep it that way.

It's also confirmed in an official hoyo vid he is a guilty confessions kind of drunk (And the type of lightweight who passes out easily) Probably the type to disappear at a party and someone will just find him sleeping somewhere random, maybe he made it to a bed or a couch, maybe he didn't-? 【Ｈｅａｄｃａｎｏｎ　4 】 - I imagine he’s always been a little squeamish/dizzy around blood from the get go, you see in his plastic wrapped journal it’s canon -

This is actually a natural/hereditary phenomena in some people's DNA and is believed to be a fight or flight response, but I feel as though it probably didn't hinder him too much on the field initially. He was a merc leader without shades on (which he supposedly wears to avoid seeing blood as one of his many excuses for hiding behind tinted glass- we know the real/ main reason thanks to his agent story) He’s also covered in scars, those would've bled. He’s seen plenty of blood and still gotten out of hollows in one piece and got his crew out. I think his aversion to blood perhaps slowly got worse with the amount of injuries he and his mercenary troupe got during missions in the hollows, it seems like Lighter took the brunt of attacks and likely the front lines, those wounds would leave some trauma regardless of how tough a guy is. But the real catalyst is probably the trauma associated with finding bloodied dog tags when he was looking for his lost crew. There's also the amount of blood he would’ve seen in the underground fights where there were very little rules and regulations (Brass knuckles with spikes/ bare knuckles have been confirmed as used in these fights, not just boxing gloves which is the legal way to do it) and he probably associates it both with the disappearance of his crew, and the needless violence and shouting/ greed/ anger (A lot of negative things) experienced in his illicit underground fighting days. So it’s probably a mixture of being squeamish around it combined with trauma.

【Ｈｅａｄｃａｎｏｎ　5 】 - As far as music taste goes, I feel he’s definitely a rock and grunge kinda’ man, but maybe also progressive rock? Something a bit thought provoking, he seems to me like someone who enjoys that kind of thing, helps take his mind off his darker thoughts, or gives him a chance to wallow in them in his own company and try to make sense of them.

【Ｈｅａｄｃａｎｏｎ　６】 - Even though he eventually got to a point of nearly never losing a fight in the underground boxing ring, prior to that he was a mercenary not a boxer, so he would've had a lot of knock-outs and been concussed more than once, which is probably one factor to why his memory escapes him sometimes, particularly around names. It’s pretty common among boxers to have some memory issues actually…

But also, it’s canon one reason he wears sunglasses is to avoid eye contact, that after spending so long in those fights where he felt more like a zombie or machine than a man, just fight, win, sleep, repeat, that he’s scared to see the reflection of himself/see people’s reactions and what they see when they look at him. So he probably doesn’t remember names because he’s too busy more or less avoiding letting any intimate eye-contact happen; it's amazing how much actually 'seeing' people assists in memorising them and their names. I think his trauma also made it difficult to really 'see' people not just in the visual sense, he kept and still does keep most people at an arms length and his friendships are mostly surface level these days. I think for Lighter? Letting people in too close and building a deeper friendship is scary, because the closer you get, the harder it hits if something happens to them... Like his friends from the past. Also learned an interesting fact that repressing emotions can affect as persons memory... I definitely think this feeds into Lighter's issues with remembering names.

【Ｈｅａｄｃａｎｏｎ　７】 - Romantic relationships... I feel like he hasn't had many. Possibly none at all. He's probably had his fare share of quick flings and one night stands, especially during the underground fighting days as a way to seek some kind of comfort and release that isn't violence, all very much consented and well communicated because I see him as someone who has a lot of respect, but likely didn't have much time for any deep relationships when he was a mercenary group leader, nor the emotional capacity for them in the underground fights. I think he's probably someone with plenty of physical experience but probably MUCH less in the emotional/commitment side of things. At the same time, I see Lighter as someone who'd be insanely committed if he did decide to go down that path. I also think he’d be very careful, he’s mentioned many times not wanting children. He’s not a man who messes around without protection.

【Ｈｅａｄｃａｎｏｎ　８】 - Not much genuinely stresses him out to do with ‘himself’ I feel, but an injured friend or partner would stress him out, or knowing people he cares about are in danger/ someone's late to a meet-up, that would also stress him out. Though he's VERY good at hiding stress behind a calm façade or jokes, he’s not as calm as he lets on in my opinion. I feel like he's constantly over-thinking or worrying behind that exterior.

His mercenary friends never came back from a mission and he never found out what happened to them, despite him searching everywhere to find them or at least find their bodies for some closure (Only finding their dog tags), so he's definitely scared of that happening again to members of the Sons of Calydon or other friends he's made along the way. This is also why I see him as really difficult to befriend or get truly close to without patience and effort. He’s going to avoid those close relationships to avoid that stress.

【Ｈｅａｄｃａｎｏｎ　９】 - He doesn't always show it outwardly, but Lighter totally gets immense satisfaction out of someone laughing at his terrible dad jokes imo.

【Ｈｅａｄｃａｎｏｎ　１0】 - I mean honestly, this is probably canon? But I always notice when we glimpse his eyes, there's really obvious dark eye-bags underneath, he's the only agent that has them really noticeable on his in-game model I think? I feel like he doesn't get much sleep, either because he's awake and dealing with Sons of Calydon' business/trouble at night while everyone else is asleep, or nightmares, or just... Existential dread and dealing with those deep thoughts that won't shut off. I feel like sleep definitely doesn't come easy to Lighter.

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Guys help (Ignore how messy the coat is, just trying to get a feel for how it looks over the outfit) I don't want his design to be overly complex so I, y'know, don't end up hating drawing him. Also want him to still look like Estelle in aesthetic since he is her, but male/ in an alternate universe so I get Lighter/Etienne yaoi. But... Idk should I change anything. Add anything... / screams into the abyss because character design scares me, I have such a 2D animator brain that simpler is better.

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Decided to post my self indulgent fic on AO3 if anyone wants to join me in the journey, it's going to be LONG because I need something to keep me sane this year. Me being fussy I may re-write some snippets.... MDNI though! Sorry, it will get a bit explicit in parts. https://archiveofourown.org/works/79131591/chapters/207600366

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I apologise for low activity. I've been a lot more active on twt.

The atmosphere is... Interesting there, but it's been a lot easier to get my art and ideas out there. I'll try to post more here too !