I didn’t ask for this.
I didn’t
Because I only asked for answers
I didn’t ask for you to rearrange my body
My organs
To show me how I can breathe easier for you
How my heart can beat quieter
How I can die a painful death
In silence
And sound.
To make my suffering easier for you
To listen to.
I didn’t ask for you to come back
I asked for you to show me
But you like to think your presence
Your being is enough
But it’s not.
You’re not
And I don’t know how to swallow these sharp words so they don’t slice my throat.
There’s no easy way to digest this blade
So here it goes
This is what I need to say;
You are something so small I can no longer see you.
You hide behind this essence of a man who’s strong
Who’s good
Who knows who he is
But you’re a cliche
That has never known his real name.
My eyes cannot magnify your worth
And I’m not a mind reader like you might think
I just have been stuck on this ride for so long
I know what the next turn will be.
A brutalized animal cannot tell your intentions
But they know the signs
And they can smell your soul from across the room.
See in your eyes what you mean
What you feel
Because they have known nothing but brutality
So why should the world be different?
Why would you?











