The end of the 6th week in Sekta was both catharsis and suffering.
During the 6th week I made 10 workouts ( 5 morning and 5 regular ones), and I did not skip Wednesday regular workout as I’ve donr before. I though I have enough energy. I thought I can manage it. But all I’ve got was devastation.
Sure, it affected my nervous system too. I overreacted, acted like drama queen and ended up, literary, crying after eating 2 small portions of cottage cheese with strawberry jam for breakfast ( according to the rules I had to eat it few hours after breakfast oatmeal). I just imagined I had to write it down in the meal diary, and my tutors will see it and ask “why did you do it” and I’ll have to explain it and...ahhh, God, why should I explain it!
I was so tired of the control this system had over my life! I’ve lost the joy of life, smile and everything hunting for the perfect body. What I’ve got was massive depression because of not achieving my goals, hypostasis ( which was caused by long-lasting tiredness), eating LOADS of candies every Thursday cuz I need more energy right there right this time, provoking one breakdown after another by a complete exclusion of candies, pastry and choclate from my life. Here am I crying because of eating things which are, actually, healthy in general!
So I refused a meal diary. In Monday I skipped morning workout and regular one (which was a fittest) - I felt that my body is not ready for it. Instead of it I made a good repetitions workout at home and it was what my body wanted, and it was gorgeous. I chose buckwheat flakes instead of oatmeal for breakfast, and completed the meal by eating 1/6 of milk chocolate bar, and it was perfect too.
Instead of a regular training I made a new haircut, visited board games shop, take a long walk just enjoing one of the rare sunny warm days in St.Petersburg.
And the hypostasis disappeared, my mood pumped up and i made a huge step forward to accept my body. It’s beautiful. And if it doesn’t look so, I simply need to relax and let everything go.
Let the things go doesn’t mean you are not a warrior, it doesn’t mean you are lazy and weak. Sometimes it is the only thing that is able to help you to stay strong.
