#self cherishing

[panatmansam]

How I learned to Love my Body. (5 minutes) 

A well presented short piece about self-cherishing. Thank you to our dear friend gatzbookbinding for the submission!

[myartisdangerous]

I just learned a great buddhist phrase/concept -- Self-Cherishing, which is “our mind thinking ‘I am important’ while neglecting others...we exaggerate our own good qualities and develop an inflated view of ourself.  Almost anything can serve as a basis for this arrogant mind, such as our looks, possessions, knowledge, experience or status.” [https://meditateinvictoria.org/self-cherishing/]

When you behave in a self-cherishing manner, "you make up your own rules, laws and constitutions. If others break your laws, you catch and punish them. But, if you break them yourself, you let yourself get away with it.” [Advice on Overcoming Self Cherishing]

Literally EVERYONE is like this! I am like this! The world is full of self-cherishing little princes! But I’m going to try not to be.  

[panatmansam]

Sam’s Guide to Self Cherishing

by  Saṃsāran

What does it mean to “self cherish”? Why is it important? Isn’t just playing into ego? How do we do it?

Self-cherishing isn’t about putting yourself above others, though; instead, it’s about each of us doing the work and taking some accountability for cherishing ourselves. Self-cherishing is the art of respecting and appreciating you in your strengths and unique skills, appreciating your weaknesses and trying to grow or improve where appropriate, and loving your body for its power, health, and intricacy.

Sadly, for a variety of reasons, most of us go through our lives berating ourselves, hating our looks or our bodies, feeling shameful, ugly, unattractive, undesirable, or unloved. If you pay attention, you might notice that you say mean things to yourself that you would never DREAM of saying to a friend.

This is what we call negative self-talk.

Negative self-talk is reinforcing. The more you let it run wild, the more it will run wild. The brain creates pathways for efficiency. The more you think a certain kind of thought, the easier it becomes to think that thought again in the future, and the faster your brain knows to jump down that pathway.

Imagine, for a moment, what your life would be like if the voice in your head (the one that is always talking – the Buddhists call it “monkey brain”) said the following to you:

you deserve love

you deserve happiness

you have your own set of unique qualities which make you “you”

you are a powerful person

you are not defeated if you start over

you are compassionate

your body is not perfect but it is yours 

you can make friends and be a friend.

One of the hardest things to overcome is what we call Negative Self Comparing. When we compare ourselves to others we are not making a true comparison because we don’t know what these other people are dealing with. We see only an idealized version of them and of course our real life can never compare with a false imagined idea.

4 TIPS FOR CULTIVATING SELF-LOVE

1. Visualization and Affirmations: Trade the negative self talk in for positive self talk. This is not some flaky new age thing. Champions like Bruce Leigh and Mike Tyson used affirmations as part of their training. Learn to visualize success in your mind. See yourself as you would like to be. Picture it in vivid detail.

2. Taking care of your mind, soul and body. Eat a good healthy plant based diet. Eat frugally. Get some exercise even just a walk. Meditate. Relax occasionally. Learn to quiet your mind. Learn Self Observation. Learn One Pointed Concentration. Learn how to breathe properly.   Give yourself the benefit of the doubt.  Learn the techniques of Deep Relaxation and Self Hypnosis.

3. Cherish Others: One of the best ways to feel good about ourselves is to appreciate the others in our lives. In meditation, or just in a quiet time, think of those people you love and admire both living and passed. See their good qualities and in your conscious mind seek to be like them. Let your heart swell with love. Cherish even the blue of the sky and the cool breeze. Cherish the warm sun and the sea.

4.  Mindfully reflect on your life:   Take time every day to be fully present. That could mean meditating if that’s helpful to you, or simply taking a few minutes in which you do your best to be quiet and still, and just look around at your world. Take the time to deeply and mindfully appreciate the unique life you have.

[kmcnyc]

In reality, all the problems we experience day to day come from our self-cherishing and self-grasping – misconceptions that exaggerate our own importance.

[kmcnyc]

When a thief is caught and sent to prison, we say that he has been imprisoned for committing a crime, but the main cause of his imprisonment is his self-cherishing mind.

[linaorganic]

All the happiness there is in this world arises from wishing others to be happy, all the suffering there I'd in this world arises from wishing ourself to be happy

http://www.tharpa.com/us/eight-steps-to-happiness.html