seen from China
seen from Brazil
seen from Germany
seen from China
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from China
seen from Jordan
seen from China
seen from United Kingdom
seen from China
seen from Taiwan
seen from United States
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seen from Germany
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seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Malaysia
distraction.
I keep trying to keep myself busy so I can ignore the fact that my life feels like a giant mess right now.
In doing so, I feel like I keep perpetuating the mess.
I know who I want to be. The person I've resorted to in the last couple months is somebody that I thought I left behind years ago for something more positive....
I need to stop doing this to myself.
Today I am feeling weak and self destructive. I am not used to feeling like this and I hate it, I don't know what to do and I just wanna drink. I need you to hold me and I know that you can't. You have this thing you were talking about the other day and you said that there was a possibility that you could be out in September. I don't know if it is real because you have said so many things could get you out and they all fell through, if this falls through then I don't know what I am gonna do. I feel like cutting, I am too scared to. It'd make me weak and then mom would see it at the beach or whatever. I don't know I am gonna stop for now. I am gonna go take a bath and read. Burn an incense, maybe I will drown or burn my ankle or something.... I don't know. I need human contact, but every one around me just makes me angry. I don't know who to run to. Mom and dad wouldn't understand. I just hope I can stay strong for you. It's all for you after all.
All that I am is for you.
