#self dx?

[vacuumsalesman-blog1]

Okay even though bpd sucks so much, I get highs like this

[mikiruma-moved]

also i figured out most of my life is made up of me dissociating and then me coming back and facing reality and thinking "what the fuck"

i dont knoe if me bein emotionally/physically numb is withdrawals, dissociating or lingering grief or a magic hangover or w/e but. it is so weid to be spacing out like always anf then not knowing if you said something or just want to really badlt and that this is every day of your life (of course with varying intensities and in other situations too) and realizing you might be more of a mess you told yourself you were and refysing to believe anything because someone is always going to tell you youre wrong but you sort of dont care because you arent you?

i feel more like nothing than anything rn