#self problems

[themisterhip]

A self-comic about what should I do NOW that i end school...

[laurakearney]

I Bitch About My Feelings Pt. 357848796976

ugh i have such art envy, i love my things and then i see someone else’s art and it makes me want to cry. i’m just very emotional. i want to make myself a unique icon and then i remember i’m not good enough at digital art to make it all sleek and looking. I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS. i just always feel intimidated by everyone. god, and i see people that i want to talk to 24/7 but like our relationship aren’t that level. ALSO VALIDATION, I NEED IT. i hate that i need validation to feel like i’m good enough. i measure my self worth by social media likes and things and i wish didn’t.

[joyfulduckbird]

Figuring out

Or maybe giving up again?

Can't decide actually

That's the bad side of living in your own body that you can't judge your thoughts and actions from third perspective. Even if you try to you'll end up either conflicting or agreeing with your mind. In both the cases you fail to judge. But that's life I guess. These are some moments when so confused that I find myself so stupid and immature that can't even word my thoughts. In such situations only being able to conflict whether I'm doing right or wrong feels blessing because right now forget conflict I can't even form a word about what I feel , not even capable to control and feel one emotion at a time , it's a sea of emotions and I'm drowning into it and not even fighting for survival. All these emotions are just bounded around me and I'm not able to decide which one is pulling me down and which is pushing upwards. But I know there are people whose presence will never let me drawn and for them I will fight forever.

[joyfulduckbird]

Does eternal love exist??

I thought love is associated with feeling, how your heart feels when you see that one person how your mood changes when you think about him. For me if I feel like I can be myself I can say whatever comes to my mind I can do what I want no matter how silly the thought is I don't have to impress them and still I'll be thousand percent sure that they'll like me the same way forever. For me love is when I know by heart that this perticular person is gonna choose me only whatever the situation is and even the thought of him not choosing me never comes to my mind because it's always obvious and there is no doubt in it.

For me love should be permanent, it shouldn't depend on the temporary things. For me love is between me and you not between our beauty , our job profiles, our bank accounts, our family members and anything else it's just your and my existence in the world if I exist I'll love you and if you exist I'll love you that's so simple.

And if your love depends on other factors and it's not permanent then I think you should better call it something else but not love.

[joyfulduckbird]

Why is life so unfair??

Why can't we just skip the sad and hard time of life?

[joyfulduckbird]

People are weird. They are not willing to do anything for their upliftment, they are couch potato, they don't wanna use a single brain cell of theirs, they don't even wanna type more than few letters and expect from me to cheer their mood up.

I mean, what do you think Who am I ? Some jocker or cartoon who will show circuse and you'll be happy without a single movement of your body and mind. Come on yaar, I can't make you feel good all by myself you have to be involved in it, you have to at least talk. Otherwise go to hell and nobody can ever pull you out of it .

[joyfulduckbird]

Sick

I don't know whether it's wrong or right but If I had to choose my life partner, I would choose a person who would take care of me the way I always wanted people to treat me. I for sure want a person who takes care of me like a little kid when I'm sick. Don't you dare to say " it's just a mild fever" I'll punch you damn hard, straight onto the face. You should perform like it's a big deal even if I get my nail hit on the table corner ( I do, 4-5 times a day ). I want that care, I live for those moments. But nobody does this nowadays. Even my parents don't treat me as a kid how can I expect it from someone else. But I would not tolerate you if you can't even do this for me. I'm not gonna fall sick everyday yeah, so if you can't show me some empathy then there is no point of tolerating a new person if he's gonna behave the same as the old ones ( my family members of ).

He should pamper me if I'm behaving like a child instead of saying be mature. He should also join me in my stupidity. I don't need life advisor or personality grooming kit I want an emotional human being who buys things for me at one hint. Who don't say "ohh sweetheart that's not needed you are not a kid" I know I would not die without it but you just fuckinn bring it.

I've seen my brothers when they buy snacks or toys for their kids. I just think is it that big of a deal if I ask for it. Why don't they buy snacks for me. Ofc it's not expensive, doesn't take much time or energy then why not? Just a 5rs chocolate and it would give me immense happiness, it would double the love and respect I've for you but still nobody does it even if I ask they just ignore it like I never said something. Why?? The most hateful thing one can ever do to me is when I ask you to bring something for me while coming back home and you forget it or just give me any excuse no matter how valid your excuse is.

[joyfulduckbird]

I think I should stop procrastinate. This is the thought I have kept with me from the last 4-5 years. Ever since the lockdown has happened I'm not what I used to and it's not like I never tried, I did. I've actually achieved it so many times I redesigned my whole life my mindset my routine my habits and I succeeded but then somehow I just ended up being the same lazy, sad, procrastinating person again and again. It's a loop I'm stuck in.

I think the reason why I am not getting out of it is that it's so so hard to get out of it and remain out of it but it's equally easy to get into it again.

I try so hard , do all the things it takes to get the personality I dream about and as soon as I get it I realise it's amazing, I've achieved it and I become happy and as soon as I become happy and get this feeling that yes I achieved it my mind says ohhhk babe , since you've get what you wanted let's just take some rest. Annnnnnd tadaaaaaa a few hours of my mind taking rest takes me in that loop again.

This is gye the fuckinn process I'm repeating again and again and again and again.

I'm done with this drama of my mind. It's done now either I'm gonna donate this mind to someone in need or I'm gonna ignore this dumb mind just like my dentist ignores my painful cries.