From Fear to Eternity
“Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones.”
Something wasn't right. Something was wrong, but Isaac couldn't remember what it was. The tugging feeling of forgetting something overlapped the anxiety running through his veins, causing his heart to pound so hard he was afraid it would burst. He was terrified; he and Caroline had come home late, and their father-
Isaac needed to find Caroline. He could hear her crying, sobbing somewhere in the house but he couldn't find her. Why couldn't he find her? Their father was with her, Isaac needed to be there, needed to protect her.
He ran through the house frantically, not sure if the pounding in his head was his heartbeat or his footsteps or maybe a little of both. He threw open doors, but he couldn't find her anywhere. He was out of breath, calling out for his sister, but all he could hear were her cries-
"You thought you could help her?" His father's voice startled him, causing him to spin around and face the man. Isaac's eyes were wide, afraid, and he- but this wasn't right.
"Where is she?" Isaac's voice had trembled, and he winced. He wanted to stand up to their father, but he couldn't; he never could quite stand up to him the way he wanted.
"You'll soon be joining her, boy, don't worry." Their father had that glint in his eye, the one that made Isaac terrified he'd finally snap. Isaac's heart beat faster when he realized he- he couldn't hear Caroline anymore-
Blood rang in his ears, deafening him, so much anger at their father rushing under his skin. But more than that, anger at himself that he didn't save her, he wasn't strong enough to prevent this.
Is this what their father felt like every time he looked at them? Was he reminded of his failure, of his weakness to protect his oldest son from death? Did the rage consume him, like it was choking Isaac? Did it blind him, eat him up from the inside out? Isaac could almost have sympathy for the man if it did; because right now, the anger was boiling inside of him, bubbling under his skin like he was going to explode- like there was something inside of him that wanted out, that wanted to- to roar.
Isaac shook his head, something fighting to come to the surface, a memory, something. His finger jabbed out toward his father, shouting, "You didn't hurt her!" He couldn't have, it wasn't right-
His father let out a laugh that twisted his lips into a snarl, eyes cold and dark. "I did more than that, Isaac. Both of you, you make me sick-"
"No!" Isaac shouted, more power beneath his words than he had ever felt. "You didn't kill her. You couldn't have." His fingers itched, like something was waiting to claw its way out of his skin. "You're too much of a coward to have done anything. You hit us, you beat us- all because you're nothing.” Isaac knew that was true. Their father- he wasn’t anything. Not anymore. “You. Are. N O T H I N G." The last word was a growl, reverberating through Isaac bones, clearing his mind. His thoughts slowly started to mend back together, piecing together his memories of reality.
His heartbeat started to slow in increments as he looked around the ballroom, watching as most guests were consumed in their own worlds; the look of absolute terror was etched into most faces. He felt something drip from his hand and looked down to find his claws were out, digging into his palms. Whatever this was, it wasn't just hallucinations- it was real, it hurt.
A feeling tugged at him, fear- but not his own. Caroline. He needed to find his sister.