Hi, I have noticed you have a decent amount of posts related to OCD and you are at least left-leaning. I've recently (in the last year) have had a change of heart regarding my politics (used to be moderate) but the more I engage with left-wing theory online and encountering people who say people who live where I do should just end their lives, the worse my OCD symptoms and s. ideation have been getting. Do you have any advice or resources on how to avoid falling into that trap while still living a life that does more good than harm?
First I wanna say I'm sorry that you've seen so many posts like that, unfortunately there are a lot of leftists who don't really know how to pace themselves when it comes to activism, convinced if they don't pay attention to EVERY SINGLE atrocity in the entire world they're complicit, but I have found that these attitudes seem to be most common in the west where many leftists also feel immense, crushing guilt for being born in countries that exploit others and view this "don't look away" mentality as a form of mental self-harm to alleviate their guilt. It is hard to recognize that the place of your birth has made you complicit in vast amounts of harm (though I think plenty of arguments can be had about exactly how complicit many of us actually are) and for some people the "answer" is to dedicate their entire lives to posting about anything bad that happens in horrific, graphic detail (which ofc makes one's mental health immediately worse none of us were designed to be able to look at starving and dying and dead people all day without it really fucking us up) and being overall very doomer-y about it because they're guilty and scared and don't know what else to do but take it out on themselves and their fellow activists.
It's incredibly unhelpful and honestly one of the things about leftists that annoy the shit out of me as a leftist. It annoyed me even more when I found out I had OCD because I realized that for me at least, this kind of attitude really is self harm and it makes it so much harder for people to actually affect change in the world. You can't pour from an empty cup, and you can't help others if you don't put your own life-vest on first. But they don't believe they even deserve a life-vest and so they drown and drown and drag people down with them until they're all hopeless and miserable and praying some other country nukes ours to oblivion because we "deserve it" or whatever the fuck. Post-election I actually had convos with several people I saw legit saying they hoped other countries would attack and kill us because Trump getting elected means we all deserve to die and suffer even though only 77.5 mil out of 346.5 million citizens voted for him. Thankfully I was able to change some minds, but that just revealed the people saying this stuff really are drowning in guilt and self hate and have found no other way to cope than to make themselves and everyone around them even more miserable.
Anyway, as for advice...I think it's best to remember that these people, obnoxious and genuinely harmful as they can be, are only doing this because they're scared and guilty and hurt and can't figure out anything else to do about it. It really does read like an obsession to me, you have a good day out and go shopping or see a movie with your friends and then you find out people in Sudan and Gaza are starving and dying and you start obsessively beating the shit out of yourself for having a nice day out until you feel worse than you ever have, rinse and repeat. I think most people with OCD recognize that thought pattern. So I try to tell myself that they're hurting, and that doesn't make it okay nor I am under any obligation to interact with them or also performatively destroy myself as penance for being born in America. I've tried it and honestly I was never less capable of helping anyone than I was in those moments. Use your block button liberally (no pun intended) and try to keep people like that away because in all honestly they'll also probably be the least welcoming of someone with shifting politics and you don't need that kind of energy when you're doing something I, at least, think is genuinely really brave and scary and admirable.
I also try to remember that there have always been people like this and there always will be and if we focus all of our time and energy on reaching them or doing what they say we will never fucking get out of any mess humans have caused. I don't see how watching videos of dead and dying and severely harmed people in Gaza and Lebanon helps them, it honestly just feels like making a spectacle of suffering that some people, namely governments, could stand to pay attention to, but the average person does not need to watch to know what's going on and help when they can. (And I do mean only when you can, if you are already broke and starving you need to use your money on yourself because you can't help anyone if you're hungry or dead.) I don't see how spending every second of my life reading about people starving in Sudan or abstaining from buying a new phone when mine is breaking to the point of it being kinda dangerous and unfortunately I need one in this shit ass society is going to help anyone least of all the people in Sudan. But people saying that kind of stuff, that you need to center your whole life around the suffering in the world to make up for your relative privilege, are wrong and we don't have to listen to them, and they will not hold us back.
The final thing, aside from trying medication if you haven't (hydroxyzine has been amazing ngl it's so much easier to ignore these people now) if you really want to change yourself or the world you need to focus on several small things rather than solely focusing on the big picture. Fuck the forest, focus on one tree. We are all just people, and people who are all suffering because yeah we have it pretty nice in the global north but like. It still sucks, and still hinders what we are capable of. You might not be the next Greta Thunberg or Malala Yousafzai, but you can volunteer at a food bank or soup kitchen or to mentor under-privileged kids through The Boys and Girls Club or the Big Brother Big Sister program, if you have the means. You can clean up a local park or river, check on your elderly neighbors, stream on twitch to raise money for a family in Gaza who needs help or any other charity really, or if you'd rather not do it yourself you can donate to things like GDQ (they alternate support between The Prevent Cancer Foundation, Doctors Without Borders, The Malala Fund, and Able Gamers, all fantastic charities) and boost/support other fundraiser streams. Hell if you go to cons you can work with Take This, a charity that focuses on helping people with mental illnesses be able to engage with fan culture, they run a lot of "cool down" rooms at cons for people who get overwhelmed by loud noises and lots of people and I think that does a lot of good! It does not have to be big and it should not consume ALL of your time and energy, because again, you cannot pour from an empty cup. You need and deserve to take breaks!!
(Also, ngl if you have OCD or are disabled or marginalized in any other way I don't think it's on you to be on the front lines. Disabled and mentally ill people are the people we're supposed to be fighting for. I would never judge someone else in a wheelchair for not going to a protest because it's too hot for it to be safe for them or they're worried about cops breaking their wheelchair, getting arrested and missing an important doctor's appointment, or getting hurt and becoming even more disabled, so why the hell should I judge myself for not going for those exact reasons. I was in the ER all day yesterday, it's not my job to fix everything that's wrong with the world. Not to quote Karl Marx but "From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs." is a really good mindset to have here. You're already playing on hard mode, it's okay to take a break and let someone who isn't dealing with the same issues as you take over until you're in a better place. I haven't been doing a ton of activist stuff lately because I've been stressed about my health and losing medicaid and that's okay. I don't have to be helpful rn because it would truly be more than I am capable of.)
When I get really down about this stuff I think about that quote I've seen around from a rabbi I believe who said "You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to desist from it." Or that thing about the crow putting stones in a graduated cylinder until the water level rises enough it can take a drink, not all the stones were the same size but they all helped the water rise. The work is so big, and your hands are small. One thing. Just find ONE thing you can work towards and ignore everything else if you have to. Just go pick up litter at the park if you can, or plant native plants in your yard, give your neighbor a ride to the work or watch their kids while they take a break, I have no idea what your life is like or where you live, these are just general suggestions, but I promise you the people doing the most good right now are not the ones doomscrolling while watching people get mutilated in violent attacks until they are so overwhelmed they want to die. It's the grandma who has been volunteering at her Church's food bank or soup kitchen every week for the last 50 years. It's the people who go canvassing and work the polls. The people who dedicate their free time to breeding endangered butterflies or make their yards pollinator friendly. Or my mom who is extremely disabled but managed to get her apartment complex to set up a community garden and compost bin that really made the area better and connected our neighbors in a way they weren't before. The people who aren't assholes to anyone who is moving from the center (or right) to the left.
And celebrate the small wins. Celebrate every step you take towards what something inside you is saying is right, every moment of thoughtless kindness, and thoughtful kindness, go out to lunch after your shift at the food bank, see movies, live your goddamn life. You are allowed to be happy before the work is done, and in fact, being happy is the only thing that will make sure you actually see it through.
I'm proud of you, btw! This shit is scary and leftist spaces can really be a nightmare for people with OCD, but again, block and unfollow people who post like that, and just pick one or two things to work on. Just handing a spare $10 to a homeless person is doing more for the world than any amount of doomposting about how all Americans deserve to die for being born in the wrong place ever will.
I hope this was helpful, sorry it turned into an essay, I am a verbose ass bitch lol but keep up the good work and ignore those people, they really aren't worth your time.
