#self-masturbatory

[voicesofreasons]

doctor who is so self-congratulatory

[potatowned]

Penance

I can understand why the Catholics do it. It’s pretty cathartic. I don’t feel absolved of my guilt, but I feel like I’m making progress towards something like salvation, holding on to the belief that effort has to count for something in the circumstances I find myself in. 

Still, it does feel a little hollow acting without any external validation. I suppose if my faith and belief were of a stronger constitution, I would not have these niggling doubts and would be supremely self-content with my own self-flagellation. 

Maybe it’s the fact that we always cut ourselves slack, giving ourselves the excuses, the exit signs, the sympathetic pats on the back, that we see justified and deserved which prevents us from really cutting to the bone and imposing upon ourselves the full punishment that would rid us of the gangrene of our misdeeds.

There are worse ways to live. We could be ignorant of our misdeeds, or have absolute misguided faith in the incorruptibility of our character; oh the horror!