#self-punishment

[kiss-my-freckle]

[spankingtheatre]

Self spanking is impossible during quarantine with housemates! What silent punishments (proper punishment, not fun and games!) can you recommend/prescribe?

The best silent punishment is the panty-pulling chair. That link explains what it is, and provides some tips to maximise the discomfort.

Just as a good caning results in sore pink stripes across the bottom cheeks, a good panty-pulling results in sore pink stripes between the bottom cheeks.

Other quieter punishments are:

Setting up your own whacking rod

Figging with Ginger

Sitting on the toilet and wetting your panties

Smacks on the vulva through an elastic punishment girdle

Wearing a Chastity Belt beneath your clothes

There should be enough variety there to keep things interesting as we do the right thing, and help keep others safe this winter.

[una-depresiva-enamoradaa]

today I'm going to exercise until I feel like I faint, Even if i cry.

[morallygreyprompts]

Bad Things Happen Bingo 2.0 #19

I should have been better:

Whumpee: Leader Caretaker: Youngest team member

Involving some whumpy past trauma and Leader beating themselves up, so it’s pretty close to self-harm in terms of deliberately leaving wounds barely untreated, so people are aware. Have a good day my wonderful beans- oh and I’m working hard on that master post, I haven’t forgotten.

Today wasn’t going to be listed as one of the team’s best days. Hell, it probably won first place for their worst. They’d all fought hard, and it just wasn’t enough. Innocents had died, the city grieved, and the team could only patch themselves up, listen to the agonising mixture of gratitude and hatred, of pure devastation and families tried to deal with their loss.

Leader hadn’t shown themselves since the night before, and the youngest Hero was beginning to worry about them.

“They get like this,” Hero 2 reassured them. “They’ll be okay.”

“They haven’t eaten or drank all day,” Hero said, looking in the direction of Leader’s door, far down the hallway, tucked nicely out the way.

Hero sighed. “They lose their appetite pretty easily. Go check if you want, but there’s a good chance they’ll snap at you.”

That was a risk Hero was willing to take. A while ago, Hero3 had told Hero about Leader’s history, how they were practically Villain’s pet. It had changed them. They allowed no room for error, they could get so desperate for things to go as planned. Leader had been there for a year until the team had rescued them, That was long before Hero had signed up to the team.  Even without knowing that, Leader had taken a beating, and they were worried about them. Leader needed to eat if they were going to heal. Hero made a sandwich for them, something simple, manageable. They took one of their own cans of pop for them and, along with the plate of sandwiches, went down to Leader’s room.

They balanced the can on the edge of the plate and knocked on the door.

“Leave,” they barely heard Leader grumbled.

“It’s [Hero]. I brought you something to eat. Will you at least let me put in your room? We don’t have to talk.”

“Please… just go.”

Hero would have put the plate down outside their door, had it not been for them hearing them hiss and gasp.

They opened the door, not caring for what scene they walked into. They hadn’t expected for Leader to be sitting at their windowsill, trying to wipe bandages around their bloodied torso. “Get out!” Leader snapped.

“No...” Hero said. “I’m sorry, but no. Let me see that.”

“Get out,” Leader hissed, struggling to get to their feet. Sidekick put the plate down and shut the door.

“Either you let me help, or I’ll get the whole team in here to pin you down if I have to. Let me see to this injury because I know you won’t be looking after it.”

Leader looked about ready to shove them out, but another wave of pain caught them and they fell. They snarled and punched the floor.

“For fuck’s sake leave me alone!” They shook on their hands and knees.

“No. [Leader], we all did our best, we fucked up and we failed. I can’t expect you to be fine, but this isn’t feeling sorry for yourself, this is hiding injuries, and there is no way I’m letting you risk your health.”

Leader clenched their fists, they turned their head and tried to hide forming tears.

“What?” Hero said. “Are you not ready to face us? Are you afraid we’ll be mad at you? Are you... [Leader]?”

“Just go,” Leader whispered. “I should have been better… I.I’m dealing with this in my own way.”

“Should’ve been better?” Realisation hit them. “Oh hell no! No fucking way I’m I letting you punish yourself for this!”

Hero took Leader by the shoulder and helped them up from the floor, taking care not to disturb their wounds. They guided them over to the bed and helped them to lie down. “Don’t move until I get back,” Hero said, perhaps a little harsher than they meant to. They left the room to go and get the medical kit, taking care to go unnoticed by Hero2. Thankfully, they’d left the common room, so it was easy.

Kit in one hand, and a bowl of hot water in the other they returned to the room. They sighed as they put the bowl down on the bedside table. Leader couldn’t meet their eye. “Tell me your injuries- all of them.”

“It’s fine...” Leader said quietly.

“No. It’s not,” Hero shot back. Leader shrunk in on themselves that little bit more. Hero took a deep breath and reached for Leader’s hand. They squeezed it gently. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be talking to you like that.”

“I… I should have been better,” Leader repeated. “I’m meant to be the leader, and I… I failed. People are hurting or dead because of me. T.the pain will help me remember. I was stupid-”

“Hey,” Hero said gently. “This isn’t your fault. We failed some people, but how many did we save, hm? How many more people would have died if we hadn’t been there? We can’t save them all, [Leader], you know that.”

Leader took a shaky breath, but it came out as a strangled cry. They cried, but Hero didn’t draw attention to it. “Come on,” they soothed, “Let me see this wound. Lie still, we don’t have to talk.”

Leader lay on their side, and Hero sat at the other side of the bed. They couldn’t see Leader’s face as they pressed a pillow against their teary cheeks. Hero cut the bandage away, and it was soaked with blood in the bottom layers.

“[Leader]... what caused this?”

“Knife,” they mumbled. “It’s not-”

“If you say anything along the lines of it’s not serious, I am going to go and get [Hero2].”

That made them give up.

Hero was careful as they set to work on treating their wound, cleaning it up and Leader stayed abnormally still, still fighting to keep quiet. Hero couldn’t help but notice their old scars, and they wondered how many of them had been caused by Villain when they were prisoner. Leader somehow picked up their staring. “Y...you can ask… y’know?” Leader said. “It’s not like I can feel any worse.”

“I heard you were taken, but… I don’t want to upset you or make you talk about things you don’t want to.”

“Everything you can see was from them,” Leader answered quietly. “New wound included. I was fighting them, I let them get in my head, and it got people hurt. I don’t want the others knowing that I’m still struggling. I. I have to be better than that. When I was with them, all those years ago, they tried to force me to be perfect, ‘trained’ me. I was broken, deep under, and I. I shouldn’t, but the pain, it still, it...”

“It helps?” Hero guessed. Villain looked at them with surprise. “How...”

Hero picked up a needle. “I just know… Before I joined you all, I failed a lot, and I did the same thing. I’d beat myself up, leave wounds to fester just to try and force myself into being better. It doesn’t work, it makes you worse.”

Hero patted their shoulder gently. “You did your best, [Leader], and you couldn’t have done any more. If you won’t look after yourself, if you just feel like you can’t, then I will look after you. You deserve the care.”

Leader looked over to the sandwich longingly. “Thank you, [Hero]... Thank you.”

Like my stuff and want to support what I do? Then maybe consider buying me a Kofi? Ko-fi.com/morallygrey

[arlessiar]

*finds one typo at end of sentence* 

*aggressively deletes whole sentence and rewrites it like a self-punishment*

[less-than-average2018]

Self-punishment, Why do we do it?

Self-punishment, Why do we do it?

This article was originally published on April 11th 2018. This post is a part of my series looking into health and what we can do to keep ourselves healthy, while still enjoying life.

Studies have shown that we humans have a tendency to punish ourselves when we feel guilty. I know for definite that I have done this many a time. The problem is that although long harboured feelings of guilt…

View On WordPress