Jul 31, 2014
My mustache fell off… #mayormcselfie #selfiedouche #grumpking
seen from Canada
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seen from Malaysia
seen from Taiwan
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seen from United States
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seen from China
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seen from Malaysia
My mustache fell off… #mayormcselfie #selfiedouche #grumpking
I Whip My Hair Back and Forth
Today, it was rainy. Selfie Douche was not amused.
Just revel, for a moment, in his sarcasm. Swoon. Then, he was so kind as to show off his luscious locks.
Don't you just want to run your hands through that perfectly gelled coif? Or rub your cheek against that manly as fuck beard? I know I do.
TGIF
Yeah, you look fucking thrilled...or maybe you're just constipated.
The Beginning
Around 6 months ago I entered the worlds of Tinder and Snapchat. To my delight and horror, those two worlds recently combined. For the past several months I have been receiving selfie Snapchat photos from a most fantastically douchey bro on a daily basis.
I do not know who he is, but he shows up in my Snapchat as "name Tinder" so we must have matched on Tinder when I was single. I have since deleted my Tinder account and have no way of finding out the identity of this rare specimen. I also do not want to find out who he is, because that would be like meeting a unicorn in real life. The magic is gone.
Originally, I figured it was a phase Selfie Douche (as I affectionately call him) was going through. Perhaps he felt lonely. Or maybe he just wanted to share his sweet, sweet chinstrap with the virtual world. Eventually, my boyfriend became slightly concerned that a random man was sending me duck face pictures on the reg. I decided to start taking a screenshot of every single Snapchat Selfie Douche sent me, in the hopes that he would stop. Selfie Douche rose to the occasion by sending me more pictures, sometimes around 15 a day. He also expanded from selfies to things like his desk and parking garage at work. Thus, this blog was born.