#selfserve

[themaleanthology-blog]

all by myself...

[casualvoltage]

okay so fuckin what does anything mean

Roughly 2.5~ months ago i used a machine called an InBody machine. Basically it is a weight scale, BMI, SMM, WWI and more all built into one thing. Really cool piece of tech. Back then I weighed a rough 108.86 Kg ( 240~ lbs) according to the machine and had a BMI of roughly 38%.

That was the beginning of my personal training.

I have since seen no physical change and dieting + working out seems to have done nothing to help me (in terms of my visual appearance) and it is incredibly de-motivating.

This morning, I used the InBody machine for a second time. New measurements state that I weight about 106.60 Kg (235~ lbs) and my BMI has dropped to about 33%. Seeing those numbers makes me feel fantastic but, at the same time, concerns me because I don't see or feel any difference.

I've been dieting and (trying to) excersize long before I started personal training, and even today I feel no different than I did before I started all of this. I know that I shouldn't use weight alone to gauge progress (hence looking at BMI and SMM as well)

Is this even worth it? what should I even do at this point?

[casualvoltage]

i am giving up on my diet for today

i dont understand anything about how my physiology works

and no, i cannot afford a doctor

[casualvoltage]

I have been working out

I have been controlling my food intake

It has been 3 months

I have seen no progress

is this even worth it?

should i even bother?

i really want to give up

[casualvoltage]

how did i lose nearly 2 kilos while over eating and missing my training sessions

how

what the fuck

[casualvoltage]

I feel like i've lost the ability to make progress.

I don't know what I've done, or how to change it, outside of starving myself. I'm starting to break down.

Am I just trapped like this.

Will I never improve.

[casualvoltage]

Here's an update:

I havent lost weight, haven't gained weight, still at what I was last time I updated.

Visually I still look the same. It is very discouraging. Genuinely makes me want to give everything up.

However.

All that said. I have noticed that my belt is starting to fall down easier. Walking around at work I find that I need to pull my pants up more often and more aggressively.

I am losing the fat in my ass before I lose the fat in my stomach. what the fuck.

[casualvoltage]