#sels5crushout

[godsfavrib]

🥛Wild horses can still go to heaven🕊️

[godsfavrib]

I hope that tomorrow we see Homelander go to his happy place. I need him to have brain damage, hallucination, absolute derealisation. A second before he goes, his death bringing out life.

A perfect life, a family man. With 4 kids or more, and a loving partner who will let him cry, children that he can nerd out to about Davy Crockett. With family dinners and special meals on Fridays like pumpkin udon with extra Parmesan. Because dad can’t cook and mom is a little weird like this.

They live in a lake house, make each other better. In the middle of nowhere because he’s been everywhere already. With a garden big enough for baseball and organic vegetables produce cause it shows love.

I need his eyes to glaze more than we ever saw them do. For once, not because he is scared or stressed or suffering. Because his son is a better version of himself, more honest and tender. And his daughters are just as sweet as their mom.

There won’t be any need for theme parks, or cocaine addicted father. Because all’s well that ends well. He will finally grow up, finally learn how to balance seriousness with playfulness. Anger with love.

Instead of having his face caved into a mountain, he has a smile carved on his face. Constantly. Because they are hiking, free. Taking pictures. Living. How lucky are they? Not animals, not experiments, not superstars. Just living. Emotional, tender, strong.

For once the house isn’t a curated space filled with paintings and sculptures, like a museum he’s actually not interested in being in. There are photos everywhere. And no expectations, just unconditional love. The dining table that saw laughter and arguments, hand holding and pregnancy reveals. High-fives and scowling looks, because the bedtime is at 10pm. Birthday cakes and heavy news. Everything that he ever dreamed of.

He will finally dance a day in his life, even if it’s just a hallucination. In the kitchen, outside, father-daughter, first dance, last dance. For the sake of dancing. Spontaneous and practiced. As long as it feels real.

So real he doesn’t even understand he’s dying. A what-could-be-life, lived in a second. Lost didn’t even noticed when.

[godsfavrib]

🐅she/her, 21, Homelander-centric

⭐️Art under #seldrawings!!! COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN!🩵

🫯 Important/favs/things important to me under #selfav

meta (?) under #selmeta, ask under #selask, GIFs under #selgif, weird HL themed dreams I had under #seldreams

Xx🥛(used to be sellander)

[godsfavrib]

I can’t watch it tomorrow. I can’t watch it knowing that we are going to experience his last moments and they will be filled with hate, violence, everything that he started with. A full fucking circles, John Ouroboros fucking Homelander.

[godsfavrib]

Dadlander yapping before s5 finale gives us more reasons to hate him.

I love that we are getting Homelander and Ryan in the lake house again.

A visual representation of all the “could’ve-beens”. A table with six chairs…fireplace…kitchen island…movie collection….

Makes me wonder. In a world where he is aware he is having a child with someone who wants this as bad as he would…he would freak out.

He would be losing his mind. “Listen, kid. I don’t know if you’re gonna be strong or quiet or…whatever. But I’m your dad.”

And he would CRY. Like…full-on sob. Snots and all. During the pregnancy? He’d be so helpful. He loves being useful. Groceries, special pillows, feet rubs, absolutly supportive or whatever happens to the mom during pregnancy. Even if it’s bodily functions and fluids and ugh…he will be fine.

“Don’t hurt her when you come out okay? Please don’t laser mom by accident…if you do have powers? Start small. Like…tiny glow? A little warm feeling? Not full-on heat vision on day one!”

Nervous laugh. Because he was told, straight to his face. Probably every time he hurt someone by accident he was told the same thing: “You killed her, you killed your mother, lasered your way out of the womb!”

And when the baby is born and everything is fine? He’d high-five the baby’s mom. In shock. Not because there’s blood or she peed or smth (stuff happens)…he is shocked cause everything is fine. “If you’re ever feel scared, that’s okay. Everyone does, even me. But if you do? Mom is right here. And I’m not far.”

Everything turned out just fine.

It didn’t. I am spiraling before tmr.

[godsfavrib]

Back in 2020 I unfortunately developed a crush on Homelander at the grown age of almost 16.

Now my mind runs bewildered, temple cracking because I am really too unwell for this. Wdym the sweet boy who I’ve been assigning all my worries about myself to, and then pushing him, alongside with all the complications into ether where they belong, will be gone? I am crumbling into the bed, 6 years later with a new life I so desperately wanted back then, almost empty of all the bad.

He is the bad and the wicked so many have in them, but led to an extreme. Sadness but turned into megalomania, tiredness turned into a massacre. I would never be this hateful. But to see a scary man and know you don’t want to be him is good for you sometimes. Especially when he is not real and you can make of him whatever you yearn to. To see. To fear. To understand and dismiss. To see him as scary, or see him as sad. Sexual or not, tired or driven.

Some parts aren’t meant to make it out. They can fall of the tree and scrap their knees many times, they can blink wrong, look wrong. They can get a juvenile chance or two to be redeemed, but when they mature it’s too late. It’s a dog that’s to be put out, forever. As an act of mercy.

In an almost anemic way, I held on to the personification of all my fears of being this. The weak, yet tight grip. The blue veins, blue like the ocean or the sky, there but barely. Tumblr is such a precious place.

And if there’s any love in this character? It’s our sweet little secret.

Xoxo, see u tmr.

[godsfavrib]

Hey if I don’t go to sleep….theres no tomorrow, ergo, he doesn’t die. Who’s with me?