I am gripping the rough, hot steering wheel, wind whipping my hair back as I turn off the highway. The cool breeze stops immediately as I slow to the unpaved road. The sedan tumbles its way up to the barn and stops near the muddy dirt.
Stepping out of my car, the ground is soft and welcoming. There’s no concrete or man-made floors separating me from the Earth. Walking through the heavy barn doors, I greet the horses in the stalls. Their muzzles sniff my clean hands, searching for treats. The warm tickle on my hand from their upper-lip creates a bond between me and the 1,200-pound animals. Some of them, as I’m walking down the aisle, will put their weight into my hand to encourage a friendly forehead-scratching. My hands immediately get grimy from horse hair and dirt. I rub my hands together—a pathetic attempt at cleaning my hands. The heels of my worn-in paddock boots hit the hard dirt ground of the barn aisle, and I turn to find my horse. The artificial wind from the numerous fans hit my already sweating arms, as I get temporary relief from the hot, Summer temperatures. My horse takes my mind away from my discomfort, and when I feel his soft hair against my fingertips. This physical touch spurs an emotional connection between him and I. I rest my head against his shoulder, ignoring his mane brushing my face. Tension that rested in my muscles from the obligations and stresses from home is released.
I put on his rope halter, completing the knot, my fingers working as a mind of their own. The muscle memory of grooming and picking at his dirt covered hooves, brings me a sense of peace and comfort. At least if I fail at everything else, I know I can succeed at taking care of Frazier. The soft saddle pad rests on his bony back followed by the sturdy leather saddle. Putting my hair in the hair net, I toss it up in my helmet; it’s a tight fit, but my neck feels the fan, and I get a temporary relief from the heat.
One boot in the metal stirrup, I swing my leg around Frazier, my butt hitting the saddle. Deep in my seat, my leather gloves grip the braided reins. The texture is button-like, reminding me to tighten my fingers. This is one of my bad habits. I can feel a tug from the bit when I close my hands firmly around the reins, and worry I’m hurting him. In so many ways, Frazier and I are connected, through my legs on his side, my bottom on his back, and my hands to his mouth. I physically destress and relax my body, so he catches on. Doing this can prove to be difficult, as horseback riding can be dangerous, and my life is always at risk. Frazier relaxes into me, and I feel his weight in my reins.
I dig my heels down into the worn Ariat boots, as I ever so slightly squeeze his body. This wills him to break into a trot. 1-2-3-1-2-3-1-2-3… the rhythm continues. Posting in the saddle, I move up and down with him, controlling him through my slow post. As we continue in the long straight away his trot elongates, and his neck falls more into my reins. Aware of my hands not giving out, we keep the extended, dressage trot through the corner. My outside tightens as my inside heel presses into him to hug the rail. Later we are instructed to change direction, so I tighten the left rein. I change my diagonal by sitting twice through the bumps of his trot.
My muscles warm, loosen and relax after we slow to a walk. Taking my feet out of my stirrups, I wipe the sweat rolling down the side of my face. Soon enough the water break is over, and with a squeeze we go from 1-2-3-4-1-2-3-4- to 1-2-3-1-2-3. Asking for a canter, we go to 1-2-1-2-1-2. The rhythm moves me to let my ankles fall farther into my heels. Pointed to the jump, I am more aware of Frazier’s gait. 1-2-1-2-1-2 jump! We escalate three feet in the air, and I am ecstatic. I hover over the saddle as we work together as a unit, 1-2-1-2 another jump! My heart swells with pride, love and peace. In this Summer evening, cantering through the soft grass, we are unstoppable.