#sentima

[wolf-of-tyr]

I forgot that my cat was curled up on the floor in front of the couch, so I accidentally kicked her awake, and the glare she gave me should’ve turned me to stone.

[wolf-of-tyr]

After two and a half years (to the day, almost), my cat has finally decided it’s cool to literally walk all over me. I’m a little offended it took her this long.

[wolf-of-tyr]

I joke a lot that my cat doesn’t like me and vastly prefers my fiancé, but she babysits me whenever I feel bad. I’ve been huddled under a blanket on the couch feeling vaguely shitty for a couple hours, and when that peaked, she came and cuddled up next to my head.

She’s letting me use her as a pillow. It’s got to be uncomfortable for her with my head on her hip and my shoulder jammed into her back, but she’s stayed here for about an hour, purred until I relaxed a little, and even fell asleep.

[wolf-of-tyr]

I’m having somewhat sudden/random miscarriage feels, and for a few seconds I was sad, but for the first time, now I’m angry. My son should be turning 3 in almost exactly 3 months, but he isn’t. I feel cheated by my own body. I would give damn near anything to have my son in my arms, but that’s never going to happen.

My fiancé and I are buying a house in the next few years if things go the way we want. We’re getting a dog at some point.

I should be able to curl around my child in bed, because being surrounded by Momma is when he feels safest. Our chocolate lab should be able to lie as close to us as he can get, with our tabico cat sleeping in the furthest corner of the bed because she doesn’t want to look too eager to be near us.

My own body betrayed me and I’ve never hated it more.

[wolf-of-tyr]

Look! How! Cute! She! Is!

[wolf-of-tyr]

She purrs but plots my death

[wolf-of-tyr]

She’s so tiny 😭 cheez-it box for scale. This little floofer is full-grown, too.

[wolf-of-tyr]

Look at my precious floof!!!