I thought this was what I needed to finally make something of my empty, drawn-out life. Maybe it's because I find happiness in sorrow, or the fact that I've never let anything good blossom in my life. No matter the reasoning, the fact of the matter is, I'm alone again. Chasing away my pride and joy just so the pit in my stomach can grow an inch deeper every day. And with every single inch that it grows, and every single cigarette that touches my lips, I find it harder to make it through another day. That short buzz sure does the trick, but after packs a day you can watch yourself as you literally decay. I've seen myself fall apart more than I'd like to admit. Sometimes almost like a standby, watching everything that I once loved come crashing down and fall at my feet. But I think the worst part was that I felt nothing. Not even sadness or guilt, or anything that reminded me of being human. I was numb to everything and everyone. I had lost the only part of me that could still feel. And yet I continued to push you away. Maybe I thought it'd bring peace or some kind of feeling back in my life. But when you chase out all of the light in your life, you also let the dark replace it. #septemberstories #idgiveanythingtofeelsomething #valencia #tb (hier: Mercat Central de València)
