for the ask game: 💀 about the low tide (which agh still makes my heart hurt when i think about it) and 😨 please!
hey friend!! thanks for the ask! 🥰 ok these questions are fun:
💀 if you had to write an alternate ending to the low tide how would you end it?
I wrote the low tide for the pens rarepair fest last year, and due to the time constraint there were a couple of things that didn’t make it in that I wanted to throw in. the ending is not one of those things— i’m very happy with it, so i’m a little loathe to imagine changing it. but if i had to then i think it would’ve dealt with sid and nate’s conflict and its resolution more explicitly. maybe i’d have expanded on the flashback.
in the middle, there’s this flashback that nate has of him and sid happy and in love during the christmas offseason in 2020. it’s not explicitly stated anywhere in the fic, but that’s supposed to have been the last evening before everything went to shit and sid and nate ended up breaking up. the original plan was to have a second flashback where they have the actual fight after nate asks to move in together and sid freaks out and asks for some time spent apart— which then leads to them being in this sort of silently broken-up unhappy place at the start of the fic. so i guess the alternate ending would’ve given more insight into sid’s end of things as he makes the reconciliatory conversation happen, that he’s also a little bit of a neurotic control freak who’s fucked up and needs to work hard at relationships. it definitely could’ve made a nice contrast to the slight hero-worship 19-year-old nate saw sid with— as opposed to the more down-to-earth, hard-earned love that 25-year-old nate has for him after they were already together and broken up and are now trying to figure their shit out again. I kinda wanna say it’d go something like this:
“I’m not gonna say I shouldn’t have done that,” Sid looked the same as when he was in the middle of a bag skate; Nate was the focal point of putting the work in. “I needed the space, and I needed to freak out. But I fucked it up. And I don’t want to fuck it up again.”
Now that Nate was looking again, he could see everything. Nate knew the fear behind Sid’s eyes and the determination on his tongue and the trembling love in his mouth. Nate knew Sid. It was ridiculous that Sid had ever felt far away from him at all. “I want to be better.” Sid said, and his voice caught around the hope bubbling between them, clear and see-through for both of them to see each other through it. “I want to be better for you.”
Nate knew the feeling. He reached out and brushed his knuckles behind Sid’s ear, down his throat, and pressed the pad of his calloused thumb to the corner of Sid’s jaw. “You will be.” He had never felt surer of anything in his life; not Shattuck, not the draft, not playing hockey. The thing he still believed in the most in all the world was Sid. Though it wasn’t only Sid any more. “We’ll both be.” He uncurled his fingers and let them settle around the curve of Sid’s neck, and Sid sighed and closed his eyes, relief written into every line of his body. Nate leaned into him.
😨 describe in FULL detail the first fic you wrote (yes i’m talking about the wattpad shit we all did it).
hahaha, ok so it wasn’t wattpad because im too old for that, but it was on fanfic dot net, and it was the only fic i posted on there. i don’t remember much about writing it, but i just looked it back up and here’s what i’ll admit to: it’s a super cringy songfic for buffy the vampire slayer set during season 7, it’s from spike’s angsty little pov, and of all the inexplicably unfitting songs to use, i used 2010’s mediocre teen pop boyband ballad all time low by the wanted. miraculously, i couldn’t find any grammatical errors in it apart from a missing space typo.
moral of the story is: perseverance is the better part of skill. keep at your hobbies, kids, everyone has humble beginnings.
