#sera.vents

[goredtears]

HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT IM NOT MY MOM BRO

im starting to think shes right, youre only hanging out with me because i look exactly like her... because she won't accept your love and affection so you- project it onto

me..

ohwow

did i just really allow myself to be this stupid enough to get groomed 😂 ohmy god waitwaitwait

ineedtothrowup

hes 35 im 17 i thought he saw me as his kid

ohmygod

[goredtears]

in a way, it forever bothers me how i'll never truly fit in with others. there's that, the fact that i have to accept that i'll never be seen as a real boy.

and, there will come the day that i'm buried in a dress, my tombstone will have my dead name, and all people will see when they look at my autopsy after my successful attempt... is a bunch of female anatomy.

[goredtears]

is this ditch just never ending?

i've been stuck in here for atleast 5 years.

i'm starting to believe that i was destined for failure, for an early grave, people would seem so much happier if i were gone.

i can't stand the liars who claim that i've made their life good and meaningful, its just not possible i couldnt have done that— me existing was supposed to make everything worse.

she placed the curse upon me when i was a toddler, why is it suddenly changing.

[goredtears]

i love the attention and i absolutely despise it at the same time.

[goredtears]

it makes me laugh how much my mom is trying so hard to make me more feminine

i think shes going through some sort of closeted-psychosis situation, cause shes been like this ever since she last went to church after being forced by my grandma + after she admitted that my godfather.. is grooming.. me

😐🙁

this is why i dont believe in parental figures anymore

i fycjing hate father figures especiallu, theyruin everuthing because they suddenly get attracted

why cant you be normal

like i know the world isnt normal, nobody is— but why cant you just be a regular father figure to me who enjoys nerding out about video games and collecting shit and just bonding with me because we have similar interests

why did you touch me the way that you did

you said you understood, you apologized for triggering me before FOR WHAT

for me to have my walls down again?? screw you i hope you die i hope you break every bone in your body i hope you die because youforce me into these labeled boxes that i despise because you want women to act as real women

im not some fucking anime character dude fuck

i feel like im gonna vomit again

[goredtears]

i want to get re-evaluated already bro, it's been more than 2 years and im getting sick and tired of being brushed off.

it doesn't matter to me anymore if i came a long way and achieved so many things, i want to get some type of help.

im always 🤏 this close to hurting myself, im always in a shitty mood no matter how much im praised for accomplishments, i have these outbursts and thoughts that i dont understand why i get them

and every happy memory i seem to have – warps into some type of body horror, paranoia-inducing, vomit worthy nightmare. especially when it comes to the time that i was s/a'd... it gets worse and worse everytime, and like the more he pops up

it feels as if he is trying to reach to me through the nightmare, just to hurt me all over again.

[goredtears]

mental health ruins everything good that ever happens to me.

[goredtears]

personal bullshit, yes im ranting about it. i've been crying over this

dont ever promise me bullshit, just to back out on it at the last fucking second. you gave me false hope for what bro, you've been giving me false hope for weeks.

i'd completely understand if you told me earlier, but no — it's like you suddenly forgot i existed because now you only talk to me, if there's drama or if you need something (ex: me being a placeholder for one of our other friends)

don't bullshit me bro, if you're planning to unfriend me, just say it straight-up. or better yet, tell me in person because i'm beyond pissed off and it's hard as shit to piss me off.

i don't care that you're not confrontational because you want everyone to be happy and positive, you literally went from my best friend to just a friend.

like dude, i get it. we have lives other than being revolved around our friends, we have jobs; we're going to become fucking adults. the world doesn't revolve around solely us.

but, you keep making promises, getting my hopes up, just to snatch that shit back at the last minute/last second— and now you suddenly want to walk with someone else for graduation???

idunno bro im fuvking tired as shit.