TROMARATHON [PT. II]
There is no written part I, in 2011 a couple of friends and I watched several troma movies followed by some shitty-sublime movies such as sharktopus or piranhaconda.
Now, I will watch in youtube as much troma's as I can.
LET THE TROMARATHON BEGINS:
1.- NUKE EM HIGH: I fell asleep watching the first part and finished it by the morning. Just love the way marihuana makes some stoner-hallucination flash backs in people who just smoked it and then they become fallout beings. Gigantic Dicks and Happy Weird Pregnancies.
2.- NUKE EM HIGH 2: Efficient way to run the Tromaville Institute of Technology, just can admire the way they take water sports and their gasmasked marathon. Fuck the squirrels. Let's go. He's going to participate in a 'badsex' scientific experiment. Sex with a hot girl with a mouth on her navel. Ok, just a new race, mutants, subhumanoids , every fucking body has a mouth on the navel. The Evil is doctor has marge simpson's hair, she wears an extremely sexy lab coat and she's definitely hot. The man who is founding the experiment is a hairless fatman with a shrill voice. Main character talks to a recorder just like agent cooper on twin peaks. WTF IS DOING TOXIE ON SCREEN? Ok, he was there by mistake, he's returning to his film. Come on. Some kind of radioactive monster coming out from a navel-mouth. Come back when you have something really juicy. Ok I'll stop making comments 'til the end of the movie. Ok, a fucking giant squirrel destroys everything and subhumanoids star to meltdown but finally, although almost everyone dies, the giant squirrel is defeated (sent to Eastern Tromaville) and everyone can keep on living in peace...
3.- SARGENT KABUKIMAN FROM NEW YORK POLICE DEPARMENT. The fucking tittle says everything. Harry, a very silly cop, is forcefully kissed by one dying actor in a kabuki theatre, unknowingly becoming blessed with the powers of Kabukiman, thus, he becomes a superhero called KABUKIMAN. Ok, so let's watch "Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D" while lying on the bed, it's 2 a.m. Love the way he turns from regular police to KABUKIMANNNNN. Fuck I've fallen asleep and the only thing I know is Kabukiman it's so skillfull when kicking enemies in the park. Well, let's see the movie, i don't wanna say anything else about it, but if there is something impressive i actually will do it. TITS. Kabukiman (san yong) singing Madame Butterfly from Giacomo Puccini as a badass. He has turned into a fatty clown. Monkey dressed in a kimono, he's called Toyota. Kabuki is back, he is no longer the fatty clown. KABUKI WAY TO DO THINGS. He killed a criminal by making a sushi roll with him. Evil lust society in a christian church. Japanese boobies. Cliche radioactive/alien final monster boss in Troma (acutally it's some kind of dragon). kabukiman defeats him of course.
4,- BELCEBU. Oh, directed by Sergio Blasco, so it is in spanish language. Pues nada, un atraco surrealista, un accidente, y una chavala que ve al tal Belzebu en la TV; una rockstar que es como la mezcla entre Alice Cooper, Lemmy y Vikernes; pero en realidad es un heavy cutre de valencia. Escena de porno FETISH con cuero y doom metal. Platós con porno. Prostitutas, una de ellas gorda. La chica que habia visto al belsebuser en TV se llama Mani y parece ser la EX, mal rollo shurmano. Mamadas, sexo en coche, pelea, más porno. Hombre inocente, pardillo de libro, en casa de prostis, el pardillo es técnico en la productora porno de Belce. El belcebu se está bañando y aparece en la bañera una especie de demonio que recuerda a Toxie, de repente es una tía que está muy BUENA y parece ser que es lucifer en persona y tal... parece que quieren cargarse a los 'marketingos' y dominar el mundo y esas cosiquis buenas. Mani va al ensayo, está buscando a su sister. Camello Loquello. Típico manager cocainomano subido en el dollar, viste de etiqueta MAL y lleva, atención, TELÉFONO MÓVIL. Orgía postconcierto, muchas "tíasbuenas", una de ellas se pincha heroína en el baño, parece muerta; la policía está en la puerta, el batería del grupo vomita en el fregadero. Tía que se pone cachonda si le vomitan en la cara. Suicidio amenazado, suicidio del valiente. APOLOGÍA DEL SUICIDIO. Sexo con fundido a sexo. Porno Fetish con lluvia dorada. Putas yonkis. Pardillo maléfico. Hay un cadáver de prostituta, ya son varias las muertes de prostis por la sona. Empresarios de putas en prostíbulo. Misa negra. Invocando al Belcebú de verdad. Sexo en laterales. Crucifando a tíabuena. A otra la empalan por el coño. Belcebu el heavy se folla a lucifer doggy style. Belcebu se ha transformado, la poli está fuera, comienza una masacre sana. Al final la protagonista y sus sister a la que buscaban salvan el mundo de su extinción a la undergrounda. Chicas sanas y en paz, felices, corriendo por la playa a cámara lenta, tetas botando.
5.- TROMAS WAR! Everything I wrote about this film has been erased unintentionally... Er, just thing about the series Lost being a gore b-movie or z-movie. Xoxo.