'friendly' fire | theodore nott
serial killer!theo x writer!reader | fluff but in a dark way | wc: 647
summary: theo plots a murder for his ex while his friends watch
tw: mentions/references to death
“I’m going to kill him.” Theodore grumbled out.
You were currently hanging out with Theodore and some of his friends—Mattheo, Lorenzo and Pansy—with Theodore currently pacing around the room in anger.
Pansy had decided to invite you out for a fun drinking game that they often did in their childhood. You had quite a bit of fun with the game, talking about your book and exes that the five of you all had. Mattheo had talked about his secret rendezvous with various women while Pansy talked about her issues with men in the dating scene—which eventually had started a conversation about your toxic ex.
Suffice to say, Theodore did not like him after this.
“It’s okay, my love.” you murmured out, watching as Theodore paced around the couches. Pansy and Lorenzo seemed to be looking a bit fearful of his pacing. Mattheo was sitting next to you, a large smirk on his face as he watched Theo pace.
“It is not okay!” he exclaimed—his voice cursing out in Italian like a bow running sharply against the strings of a viola. “I swear, I’m going to strangle him.”
“I can get you rope.” Mattheo said ecstatically. “Or a wire.”
Theo stood in place at that, pointing at Mattheo for a moment before nodding. “Rope.”
You sighed dramatically. “I was going to use him for a part of my book.” you murmured quietly.
“Can I choke him?” he asked you, walking over to you with an almost pleading look in your eyes. “Please principessa? I promise to make it poetic.”
You rolled your eyes. “Something clean.”
“Theo. Clean.” Mattheo scoffed. “Yeah right.”
“He doesn’t even deserve clean.” he grumbled, sitting down next to you much like a petulant child might. You weren’t quite sure why Pansy or Lorenzo were scared of him—you knew that Theodore wouldn’t do anything to hurt people that he loved. “He deserves to be in pain.”
You sighed quietly and shook your head. “What are you thinking, Teddy?”
“I’m thinking something torturous.” he murmured quietly, kissing your cheek and wrapping you into a cuddle on the couch. His body rested between your legs as his head rested on your chest—while you rested your journal on top of his back to write on it. “Maybe something involving bleach. Or fire.”
“Bleach?” Lorenzo murmured quietly, both him and Pansy sitting in shock still.
You scoffed quietly. “You’d have to buy quite a bit of bleach and matches. Wouldn’t be good on a receipt if he was looked for.”
“Okay, then I’ll dismember and drown him.” he said to you.
“That’ll bloat him.” you murmured quietly to Theo, writing something else down in your notebook. “Plus the body parts might float upstream. They might find him.”
Mattheo scoffed at the banter you two had. “Okay Ms. Perfect, what do you suggest then?” he asked.
“Acid?” you said. “I could use it as a metaphor.”
“That sounds—” Theo murmured quietly before sitting up a bit straighter. There was a look of awe in his face that he had almost always been showing you recently—ever since you had figured out that he was a serial killer and helped him with his processes. It was more prominent now than before though, a small smile growing on his face. “Where does he live?”
“Near that bakery.” you mumbled non-committedly, flipping to the next page of your journal.
He laughed quietly and pulled you in for a kiss—lips caressing yours for a moment before he stood up and rushed out of the house.
“What the fuck was that?” Pansy asked you incredulously. Lorenzo was following close behind her, though his friend Mattheo had been bursting out in laughter the entire conversation.
You shrugged quietly. “Nothing serious.”
“How the fuck does a serial killer have more game than us?” Lorenzo asked incredulously, sighing dramatically and sinking into the couch. “God, I hate my life.”
hello everyone, i hope you guys enjoyed! just another small drabble here <3 this fic contains both serial!killer theo and murderer!mattheo, but murderr mattheo isnt toooo important so u can just glaze over that. thanks so much for reading!
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