#sero sinclair

[82frogsinatrenchcoat]

Hearts Ablaze Day 2 : Stars.

...there's nothing more I'd love, than to stay right here.

..then here we shall stay.

how long had it been. since they had a chance to rest. a moment to themselves. without the noise of the twins or of wuk lamat. without the constant threat of battle. without something going awry to take away their peace. too long. too long since they had a night to themselves. to merely be. she wouldn't let this moment slip for anything. not this time.

[saintly-whispers]

Rest While You Can, It's Going To Be A Long Journey.

[saintly-whispers]

Red Vitriol Spills Like Oceans. We Smile And Let It In. Push Away Our Questions. Dive In Like Peregrines.

Smoke holds dominion over the reach, billowing out from the caverns in suffocating walls. Smothering the rocky hold under its dominion. A lone silhouette stands in the center, sword off to one side as they lift a vieran woman over their head. Suffocating her. Crushing her. Making It Clear. Resistance Was Futile.

They Vii lets out a broken gasp as she hits the floor, quickly falling unconscious.. bloodied, scarred, torn apart. Shrouded by flame as he walks, the silhouette pauses, his shoulder plate shattering to a bullet. a single step, a single turn, to face his new prey. Cold blue eyes piercing the flame to identify the new offender. A dark form rushing him, rifle dropped into the crimson sands. armor ashen and falling away as he rushes the invader with teeth barred, the viera’s own eyes a soft hue, a matching blue. Is It Fear? Or Is It Wrath, driving the approaching beast.

“Rushing To Your Death Are You?.. Pity, Thinking You’re Worth My Blade.” Zenos straightens out, holding the now drenched blade out in front of him, poising it to impale his smoke blinded attacker between their cracked ribs. “Come Then, Beast. Show Me, Your Worth.” Zenos challenges, angering the frenzied viera further. Pace Quickening, Breath coming in agonizing gasps as he sprints towards Zenos. Blood and ash smeared across his face, darkening his visage wholly but his eyes. Focused, a storm of vitriol beneath the blue.

Time stops for a moment, the screams from the Reach coming to a quiet, leaving just the crackling of fire as the resistance clears out. Zenos turns his gaze back to the strangled woman at his feet, keeping his stance. He makes note of her features, coming to realize this was the “Warrior Of Light” he’d heard so many reports about. “So weak. So Unsporting To Finally Battle. There You Lie, Without Out The Protection Of Your Beloved Hydaelaen . Pathetic.” Finally he looks back to the creature rushing him.

The Viera doesn’t stop, growling as he drives himself onto the katana. Reaching out with broken limbs, muscles torn out form under his skin in frenzy. Vying for Zenos’ throat, managing to reach and clutch around the imperials windpipe, crushing it. Claws digging into his neck as Zenos begins to recoil, stance faltering, bringing the viera closer to his target. The viera writhes on the sword, letting it snap off inside his ribs, narrowly avoiding any organ as he musters up the last of his strength. A final claw trenches itself into Zenos’ Carotid artery, spraying his blood onto the Beasts face. The Garlean Invader drops the hilt of his now shattered blade, ripping the attacker off of him violently, throwing the broken creature over their sister. Clutching at the side of his neck and cursing beneath struggled breaths. Shifting his eyes back from behind the long strands of gold, he looks over towards his attacker, seeing him hunched over protectively over the earlier woman. Blade still lodged in his ribs, barely alive and yet…

“You.. You.. Savage, .. You.. Will Make Worthy Prey..” vaguely pointing at the Dying creature, he makes a promise. One Only the Beast would hear as the scions come to their aid finally…

Zenos disappears into the smoke and flame, leaving the Reach as a reminder for the resistance to cower from.

…The viera finally succumbs to the agony form his wombs, doubling over onto his sister, bleeding out into the ash sands as the scions reach their bodies, dragging them away… anywhere away from here..

[saintly-whispers]

and tonight.. ill ache.. with undefined longing..

..i don really have any updates, i've not done much more msq. though so far Endwalker in between has been interesting. Zero is pretty neat, and honestly endearing, watching ?her? slowly come to understand what humans are all about. from their confusion with food, to admitting their own inability to understand the concept of a good time.. its been fun, watching ?her? come to feel as a comrade adn not just one end of a bargain.

this goal is months in the making but I'm getting closer everyday..

current milestone is getting White Mage to 80, it hit 70 today which means I'm roughly 3/4 of the way there to getting my Amaro mount for getting all SHB jobs to 80. having only the little bit left on WHM, PLD, 60-80 on GNB and DRK. then its literally just the melee's. god I'm fucking miserable playing them..

no gposes. just a small checkpoint...

..ive been feeling frankly fucking w e i r d the lasat week.. this weird constant sensation that shifts across my body, seeping into my head and then back out again. if i could just.. identify it... i'd be happy but no.. it keeps moving.. hiding..aggravating me.. getting these stitches i n my chest like the ones i get with heavy emotion.. and yet. i feel so fucking empty every time it happens.. can i just not process it? do i not know what emotion it is? is it foreign? .. i don't know.. maybe it's my schizophrenia acting up.. but there's no voice attached to it.. so i doubt it.. its in the back of my mind .. rolling through my veins... Hiding in my fuckin nerves and its just.......b o t h e r i n g me ..

an electric feeling that never seems to never leave me be... its been fading.. and i still have no answers..

..i wish.. i wish i could fucking continue Lost Lessons... i swear, it had so much potential.. i had.. potential.. and im fucking squandering it.. i cant bring my mind into focus.. like im wading through of bog of thoughts.. each one murky and vile.. then.. theres this little glimmer. In the water .. for just a split second... and i get the inspiration.. then its gone before i ever conceive the concept itself.. i have so many drafts.. so many ideas.. and i can't bring myself to consolidate them .. consider them.. even look at them... I want to ... Am i scared.. did i give up without knowing.?? ..im tired of wanting.. im tired boss..

[saintly-whispers]

Finally did some GPosing proper in the apartment, my buns gathered together. Very cozy. Turns out brio lets me scale models.. all models.. so uh theres a surprise in the back :3

Also, finished the Main Endwallker story.. im certainly...feeling things . Im still processing some of it... Making peace with others.. i loved the zenos fight...loved the meteion trial.. liked the last dungeon aside from its first boss ...

But.. getting here ..sweet hells.. I don't think.. no other emotion rules me more than fear.. and being able to face despair in the guise of Sero.. to face the constant loathing i have for myself and constant aching of not being enough .. of the cacophony of voices that ring out in my mind..

Being able to face that. Even through a video game... Is incredibly liberating..

...i may not be able to be so literal in the defeat of my woes... But god,, it feels nice, knowing that i still can feel my heart soar and burn in moments like this..

Goodnight..

[saintly-whispers]

the buns are settling in well to Ishgard.

[saintly-whispers]

FUCK, I FORGOT TO GPOSE IN THE APARTMENT BEFORE BED SHIT SHIT UHHH @jamgatess REMIND ME WHEN YOU SEE THIS TO DO IT..

anywho jadies and lentlemen, I finally have an apartment again, as stated last time but this time its actually decorated and both my buns are broke because of it =w= ..its so cozy though, got a lil bit of Astro in, slept most of the day.

Played an actual game of Catan for the first time in years with my old HS buds. Was fun, won twice because everyone had good rolls but me so i just kept banking off good placements.

May 20,

Broke my own heart again talking about Huarchefant's death and how it affects my Buns for the fanfic

I wasn't ready to face it again..

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Been working on my Lancer story some more, kinda got stuck after the last part. Fighting between just, railroading My Recon Bois™ (Cavalera and Lucian) into combat again or just letting that exposition slowly seep out of Aeneid while the Baron yells at them. Decisions decisions.

Tartarus is free, and He??//??/ Will To Tear Those Gates Open.

Go check it on @sirizumi

[saintly-whispers]

Got quite a bit if MsQ progress the last couple days.

Did dailies with my buds. Got Xena to overcome a bit of his healer struggle but he's still got a lot to learn as Astro, still, I'm very proud of him.

Bought a new apartment since i left my old fc. That mothafucka is cozy. I want more to decorate it with but im broke again TwT.

Got Siera's GBR to 70, Sero's Sage to 72, 52 Dragoon as well and 22 Pugilist.

Feels good man. <3