random asks drabbles./ @serveblue sent:
“Welcome baa-ack~” Blue half-sings, pose rigid, hands cupped behind her back.
There is satisfaction in her tune, which dissolves back into
passive indifference as the Pearl returns to staring at the wall opposite
them. Whatever reaction Pink Diamond’s Pearl might have,
she does not react to it.
✩⋆ .’WELCOME BACK’ / TWO WORDS, A THROW-AWAY COMMENT BEST FORGOTTEN; perhaps in a different time, she would have. Blinking the unpleasant sentiment away somehow; disregarding the very reaction it caused / numb & blind & aloof to it all. She used to be like that, nay? Back here, trailing the fringe of white & pink garments; thinking little / thinking nothing. How insignificant every little thing had been, musing in silence: about words, about regulations, about errands.
-- cue nausea, a fraction of shame burning hot in the pit of her stomach; feeling as if something blunt had hit her chest. Ever tense since setting foot back on empty corridors; vacant, sterile / polished, reflecting light cold & harsh, devoid of any warmth. Listening to the gentle tap of feet instead, hushed mumbles elsewhere. -- she recalls her past as if it was a fever dream; surreal vividly & yet with the feeling of dread & a shiver / one clinging to her every muscle, every sinew tensed beneath history’s weight. -- pushed back into a mould, back in the palace; deemed a thing [PINK DIAMOND’S PEARL], the urge to summon her lance burning underneath her fingertips. -- side-glance cast left & right / expecting an assault, bracing for an attack; some bellowing voice / keeping a careful eye on Rose whenever they walked. No, no you are too much inside your head again -- don’t you remember? Before the revolt, before identity had been known & wide-spread through communication hubs; masquerading as pearl & diamond, hand secretly interlaced with hers to steady flailing nerves. -- a distant recollection / a keepsake as haunted as any little gaze endured ever since they had docked. She feels as if weighted down by gravity, as if she COULD NOT BREATHE. -- they know, they have always known; once you wanted to return, once you craved to come back. Horrible, unbearable, absolutely -- !
She wants to respond but nought left parted lips; not knowing what to say, how to feel, how to rationalize a situation that threatened to swallow her whole. -- standing, hands resting behind her back, pressed against her form, nails digging into her palms. She makes fists, calculates a possible escape route / ponders about a justification; an explanation [an apology]. Cue an oblique glance; defeated, maybe, tongue laden with ‘what if’s’. Welcome back. -- two words, three syllables, eleven letters; all it took to uproot whatever bravado lingered in delicate form. -- no! She refuses to follow other’s example, refuses to slip back into old stance; frilly dress, hair combed down. Or perhaps go further back, even. White & grey & dull. -- NO. She bites the inside of her cheek / her tongue / most gentle sting pulsing through her palms; permits mind to drift back to battle scenarios, mentally sorts through weaponry, blades for every situation; a knife for other’s throat? Better.
‘welcome back’; sing-sung, her tone perhaps crueller than a dagger in her chest. To think BLUE DIAMOND’S PEARL would remember, to think she would BRING IT UP [your kind never forgets, remember?]. -- 5500 years after the official declaration; enter: THE TERRIFYING RENEGADE. -- proudly lifting sword & fists against her better. Traitor, traitor [what are you in her eyes?]. -- she ought to apologize, ought to turn & spit it out; consequences, consequences. ASK! How many pearls did they force to reform & reset, how many did they rejuvenate, how many did they shatter? -- perhaps half of their line, mayhaps none at all. Nay, she would not know, would not ask, would not speak [158 before you; how many more DEFAULTS did they produce?]. Silenced again, not by any diamond’s hand but through a lack of courage / shame, shame, blame I got you. Nay, say by own volition; ever so proud of that little word, that little FACT. -- never good at explaining, at regretting [you are PROUD, remember?], knowing not how to fix what she had done; lips sealed by reminiscence looming in every corner, in every nook & every cranny; dwelling in the shadows, decorations carved in living walls glaring back in their solemn judgement. -- biting her bottom lip / resisting the urge to chew it bloody; one last oblique glance, tracing features seen every day / hoping Steven would HURRY.
Welcome back, aye, back to a place that could not feel more threatening.
