≡ STAR CROSSED !! YOO SEUNGEON
(the concept of kissing goodbye after establishing boundaries ๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) : 926 words : angst + suggestive + friends w benefits : based of a tweet cause i thought that was such an interesting concept as someone who doesn’t believe in talking stages.
“no seriously, you’re a good friend.” he says while you sit between his legs, his arm wrapped around you under your oversized hoodie. his fingers brush gentle caresses on your waist, delicate touches you only ever fantasized about before.
the word “friend” fails to silence its ringing in your mind, is there truly no better word to describe where you’re hovering in this relationship.
before you can reach a moment of awkward silence, he attempts to get a reaction out of you softly biting the nape of your neck. you turn back sharply, startled by the gesture. he gives you a smile satisfied with the expression he got from you.
“you don’t have to be so cautious with me, you know?” he tries to reassure you, pushing your hair behind your ear. his eyes meet yours and it’s clear what his intentions are, a part of you just wants to let it happen.
you want to get lost in this confusing feeling of almost romance, you want to forget your standards and ideals just for this. despite his constant denial of deeper feelings, you know yourself, your reactions to his touch, his voice, his stare. all those feelings make it harder to blindly follow his lead, and let yourself live in constant confusion.
so you turn away, ignoring the sigh that escapes his lips once you do. he’s used to your constant push and pull, the same way you know his thoughts just from his eyes. his arms close in tighter around your waist pulling you closer, his head resting on your shoulder soothing the delicate skin with featherlight kisses. just enough to make you feel frustrated, barely enough to satisfy your desire.
“be honest. this is exactly what you wanted, isn’t it?” his breath is warm against your ear, his voice lower than usual, the space between you is inexistent, his smile obvious against your lobe.
“you know me so well, don’t you?” you snicker quietly, letting your eyes rest as he hums against your neck. his kisses growing in intensity, hand following the same level reaching for your chest under your top.
the feeling is intensely bittersweet, all the pleasure you're experiencing being paired with a looming cloud of experiences that will never see the light. those sweet innocent moments shared between lovers wouldn't be part of your future together. if there is a possibility of a future together after all these mixed feelings.
you let out a deep sigh, all the pent up frustration weighing on your chest breaking free. he knows in that moment that you're going to want to talk, it only makes sense that it would be about you.
"let's hear it." he leans back naturally on the bed rest, pulling his hands away from your skin to the mattress beneath you. you look at him, clueless eyes searching his face for answers.
"just tell me what's on your mind, we can solve it together." he makes it seem so easy, looking at you with that reassuring smile.
"when you say together you mean as friends, right?" you ask, the first question that comes to mind without filtering it. he looks at you almost confused, a nervous smile flickering on his lips.
"i mean we are friends aren't we?" the look he gives you is one asking for confirmation. he wants to be sure you didn't get carried away because you wanted this, you cut off the strings that were getting attached.
"yeah... of course. i'm just thinking friends usually keep a certain line, not to be crossed." your eyes are facing forward too scared to see the face he's making behind you. the imprint of his lips on your neck tingling as you try to close that door.
"is that what you want?" his words find your ears like a sweet temptation, a dare masked a a truth.
you wonder if it matters, what you want because you won't have it either way. you know this game too well, the eternal yearning of the hopeless romantic, you'd witnessed it before and now it was your turn to care too much.
you don't know what you want, you know you're scared of all these feelings manifesting themselves all at once. the same fear that brought you here is holding you back. you have had your time together, falling harder than he first did, now you don't want to do further because what if you jinx it.
"yeah." you nod sharply.
"at least you won't lie to my face." he scoffs,
"geon..." you turn back towards him with an apologetic frown. your eyes meet and it feels right, like you had only been granted sight to lay your eyes on him someday.
the pain of losing something you haven't even started. forever haunted by the fragments of those emotions you'll never experience again.
"so can friends kiss or that's too much?" he asks with a playful smirk on his lips, watching your brows furrow, "you have three seconds."
you don't know whether to hate or love how well he can read you. how he knows exactly when to get you out of your head, exactly how.
"...one." you mouth the last number as he says it, giving into the bait. his kiss blurs the world around you, letting you lose yourself under his influence.
you pull away, avoiding his gaze as you distance yourself from him. before you can get persuaded once more you grab your things, walking out of his room for what you believe will be the last time.