#sev's thoughts

[starseverance]

After a bath or shower with your F/O. Warm towels after the temperature change. The intimacy of getting ready/unready together. Drying, combing, brushing each other's hair. Skincare if you like, putting on lotion to keep from drying out. Cozy bathrobes, maybe slippers. The feeling of being clean, the feeling of being together <3333 I love it.

[starseverance]

Even if they aren't normally the kind of person to be patient with others, your F/O will be patient with you.

If it takes you longer to do things, or you're not ready for something, they will be patient. If your mental health isn't the best, they will be patient, and support you as you heal. If you have bad habits or reactions that you're trying to unlearn, they will be patient, and try to help in any way that they can.

It might be difficult for them at times, but difficulty doesn't mean it isn't worth doing. You're worth it to them.

[starseverance]

Honestly, I'm so proud of the ex-antis and closeted proshippers that I know follow me. It takes a lot to get out of that mentality and what it does to you, and to admit that you were wrong and start over. Especially if you had shitty friends

[starseverance]

Imagine getting up early to leave for a trip with your F/O(s). You probably aren't thrilled when the alarm goes off, but you manage to get out of bed. The last few things to pack aren't so difficult when you work together. Trying to have a quick bite to eat before you leave. Making sure you have all your passports and tickets and necessary documents before you go. Going out into the cool morning air before the sun rises, ready for a new adventure.

[starseverance]

I think I should just start posting some of the random things 💫 says to me because he's so quoteable sometimes.

Today alone I have been blessed with:

"I am better than everyone else." (repeat)

"The Jedi were controlling the Republic."* (repeat)

"Most of the time I don't care what the crime was, I'm just happy to see a firing squad."

"If you're going to reblog that you need to make it clear that [it doesn't apply to me]."**

These are like mid-tier "fuck shit 💫 says" at best. Do not assume I endorse his statements lmfao. I should dedicate a tag to the fuck shit he says. That's what I call it sometimes.

*I am NOT typing out a detailed explanation/clarification about your beliefs about the Jedi tonight old man.

**n/sf.t mention below the cut

"If you're going to reblog that you need to make it clear that I do not prematurely ejaculate."

[starseverance]

Very pleased to announce that I was able to spend like 2.5 hours writing pathfinder stuff tonight! Gosh, I haven't done that in sooo long it feels so good. :)

[starseverance]

Turns out eventually is now.

tl;dr I have been very sick mentally and physically and it's taken a lot from me. As I am able to, I would very much like to return to hyping up your awesome selfships and yapping about how much I love my evil old man.

Things have not been fantastic. I have been forced to accept that there are a lot of things I am not able to do anymore. Various ailments of body and mind take their toll, especially without adequate treatment. My priority has to be my health and safety even at the cost of many of my goals and hobbies. I know that many of you know how it is.

I am making progress and hope to soon get the help I need. Many of my relationships have changed and grown stronger during these difficult times, including my relationship with faith and spirituality. I am so blessed to have so many amazing people in my life who have been supportive, caring, patient, and understanding.

I don't fully know why it feels so hard for me to go on tumblr. A while ago someone here gave me advice that was something along the lines of having to let go of whatever need I have to "perform well" and please people or whatever. They were right. It shouldn't be about posting regularly or pressuring myself to stay engaged with the community or only writing things I think that my followers will like. Even if it takes a while for it to happen I hope to be on here more, even if it's not as much as I used to be.

[starseverance]

Many things have transpired in my life, good and bad, some of which I will share here eventually.

But one bit of good news is that I finally have both the inspiration and the energy to be creative again! Hopefully this lasts long enough for me to not have to abandon it or turn it into a poem. It feels like I haven't written in so long, and certainly not fanfiction.