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Last night I was kickin it with some friends and I said something sexual that turns me on (we were talking about turn ons for some reason) and I remember this boy I've known for a little over a year but not really talked to much. I said what I said ( something about head Im not too sure) and he said loudly and deeply," ooh,baby!" Like semi joking around semi serious, and even though I'm not tryna go after him I've realized I want my men to say "ooh, baby!" During bed, I'll even say it I just find it a really hot phrase initiated by a really hot guy

#good morning b #sex ref

The Holiday: Chapter 9

A Welcome Respite

It must be getting late in the afternoon and neither of them have left the bed. Well they had but against the wall and dresser doesn’t count. After they returned to the bed to catch their breath and revel in their post sex ecstasy, there was a polite knock on the door. Amy covered them both with the bedsheets for reasons unbeknownst to Ash. “Come in.”

The servants enter with a plate of lemon chicken judging by the smell. “Your evening meal.” The small Orisian human is dismissed by Amy and leaves. His lover wastes no time pouncing on the food, like a panther on its prey. Ash enjoys the enthusiasm she does everything with, like whatever is right in front of her is the most important thing on the plane.

She already started dissecting the meat with the nobles eating utensils before Ash could even work out how to operate them. "Mmm, I need to find Emery some nice wine" Once finished speaking Amy returned to her chicken, eating it like it is the first meal she's had in days. Watching her eat with such ferocity gives him a pang of guilt from feeding her the chilli without letting her try the spice beforehand. "Tortillilya has many places to find good vintages. I can show you them if you wish. I am normally suspicious of things Emery does but so far this house has been pleasant." He was dubious at first when the two of them arrived at the building, thinking it will be reams of protocol of etiquette. There has been very little of that, even then Amy deals with it. How she remembers all these things is beyond Ash "Yes please. I had backup plans for when he fucked with us but they were nothing like this. Except for the married thing, he's helped a lot" Ash is still trying to remove the flesh from the bone of his chicken using these unwieldly utensils and it takes him some time before he continues the conversation. Amy makes the wielding of them look effortless and graceful while he fails to master them. "And the names, he is aware I have no last name." "I doubt they'd have permitted us in the house if you didn't have a last name" "Strange rules." He noticed Amy's plate is empty and she is now looking at his with hungry eyes, or perhaps she is looking at his nude form under the plate. It wouldn't be the first time she's looked at him like that, not even today. She sighs, before grabbing her plate and standing up. She quickly puts on some sort of gown, his shirt it appears, and heads towards to door. "Where are you going?" "To get more food. I'm so hungry! I'm going to find a maid" He looks at his own and weighs up the pros and cons of not eating all his chicken and Amy being dressed, his loins prevail over his stomach. "You may have mine." "Don't be silly. I'll be back in a minute. There'll be a maid loitering down the hall for our plates." She slips out the door. The decision was moot; he’s left alone with the food. Perhaps it’s for the best, it is very nice, better than he could ever make.

Ash is washing down his meal with some wine when Amy gets back. "They're bringing another course and dessert. Yay!" More mirth, he feels the smiles that come so easily to her are starting to wear off on him. "I am surprised you are so hungry, we had a large lunch." Amy raises an eyebrow at him, before stripping off again, her pale skin glows as the afternoon sun beats through the window onto her. "I always eat a lot after a big climb. And I'm a halfling, we love food." He remembers the halflings he used to sail with and they were the same. Ash tries to avoid relying on stereotypes but he hasn’t yet found a halfling who doesn’t eat a lot. "Yet you are so small, you would think you eat less." She gets back into the bed, pulling the sheets up to her neck, the scene is inviting but he has food he must finish and attempt not to get any on the bed. "Mannistone says halflings have a super quick metabolism, something to do with energy expenditure. I don't know. He says lots of big important words, it's easier to just tune him out sometimes. Anyway, it makes me the perfect sentient test subject" This Mannistone always seems to know a lot and is never shy with sharing it. Ash finds that he’s liking Amy’s previously dead friend less and less, but Amy says she can trust him and Ash trusts Amy.

She grins at him before frowning at the door "I wonder how long it'll take for the next course." Amy continues to baffle him, distracted instantly by food even though she just ate, Ash has seen the lights in the south, storms that disappear without any indication they were ever there and islands on the backs of turtles. Nothing astounds him more than his lover’s crazy and endearingly erratic behaviour. "I do not know; I am still eating mine." "I know. You eat so slooooowwwww. It makes it too easy to steal some." Ash is slightly annoyed, he offered his food and she declined. He protects his plate "Do not steal my food." "I wasn't going to!" She raises her hands in surrender. He’s suspicious but accepts, Amy doesn't lie. Just in case he speeds up his eating. Amy giggles, her soft laugh floats around the room. He tries to understand what is funny and quickly gives in.

As he's finishing up, she stretches slowly, Ash watches the Amy shaped mound under the bed sheets spread out. "Did you order one course or two?" She chuckles again, "I didn't order anything, we aren't in a tavern. They'd already planned the three-course meal. Meals are planned in a household like this about a month in advance, depending on whether the lady of the house wants to check the menu. They'd have had every meal planned out for us as soon as they knew we were coming" Ash frowns, wondering how people can live their entire lives under this level servitude. On a ship meals are planned out by the cook, based on dietary needs and supplies, but they have a great deal of authority and answer to few. Not like these servants always, bowing, averting their gaze and apologising for nothing.

Amy nudges against him before laying her head on his arm, "You ok? Why are you frowning?" "What makes the people who work here so devoted to the master of the house and us by extension?" She sits up and he can see the process of her piecing together a response play over her face. She always carefully words her answers and he appreciates her patience with him. "I can only tell you from my experience. We had some families in our house who had served us for generations. We had servants who a member of the household had helped in some way, so they're paying back their debt the only way they know how. For the most part though, it's the money. Serving in a house like this is the best wage a lot of people can get, and the mistress and master of the house will hardly use it. My serving staff in Baelden City will be having a great time." The whole time she’s saying this Amy does her arm movements which as far as Ash can tell has no correlation to what she is saying. It’s enjoyable to watch, like a dance performance from a far-off land. Ash mulls over what Amy said for a moment. It makes sense, for the most part. "I accept that answer. Do you know they are having a great time?" "No, but they'll have been paid for five years without having to deal with me. No mistress of the house means they can run themselves and I left behind a very nice steward to manage it all in my absence. Unless my mother took over, then they'll be earning their money" Ash could never have a servant. Servitude without loyalty, it’s all very alien to him. This is partly why he does not like other drows, they always seem to talk to him about servants or in some cases slaves, the latter he removes their limbs for.

"You don't seem satisfied with my answer" He became so engrossed in his animosity towards his own race he forgot he was still talking to Amy. "Your answer seems logical enough, I find the concept very strange if we ever retire to land I do not want servants." "Not even a cook? I'll grow old before you and I'll need a cook. I used to think a person not having servants was strange. It was all I knew. People were split into nobility and servants to me when I was a child." The fact that one could not start life as a servant and rise to the ranks of a noble was everything wrong with that system in his opinion. "I do not know how old I am, I may grow old before you. I may have already grown old and kept alive by some unknown spell." "I don't believe the latter. I've seen your aura, there’s no necromancy or spellcraft there" She has a point. "More importantly, it matters not if you grow old before me. Unless we are on a ship I will always be cooking for you." "I wouldn't ask you to come to land to look after me in old age. Wow, this conversation has turned melancholic. Anyway, it's something we don't have to worry about for at least a hundred and something years. I'm probably not going to live that long" She kisses him briefly, it’s soft and it brings a tingling sensation to his lips. Someone knocks and she pulls away instantly. "Food!"

Amy dons his shirt again to answer the door, Ash's empty plate in hand. Two maids usher in with wine and an overladen plate. They both seem uncomfortable with his nudity and are trying not to look at him. He expected they would be used to it by now. "This is more than I anticipated, I hate to waste food. Are you hungry enough to manage more than half?" The maids falter at his words and Amy automatically takes over, "Place it on the dresser please. Thank you for the wine. If it isn't too much trouble, could you wait a couple of hours before bringing the dessert? It seems my husband is full" The maids do as she says without a word and curtsey before leaving the room, Amy turns around. "Ash! Please wait till they've left the room before you start talking badly about the food" He doesn't understand all these protocols, it irritates him. "I said there is a lot of it. It is no comment on its quality." "I know. But to them it sounds like a passive aggressive jibe. It's fine. Don't worry. Just eat what you want. The rest will likely be given to the serving staff. Nothing goes to waste." She pours them both a glass of wine and brings his over to the bed. When he takes it she goes to get the platter. The wine is dry and Orisian, made from skinned green grapes. He remembers that Eard put an embargo on this white wine in his early days on The Red Reaver. They would do smuggling runs every so often and get a small share of the wine. It brings back memories of those days on the deck sailing through rocky waters in the dead of night, tense but not unpleasant memories.

The plate contains a salad with lettuce, peppers, tomatoes, cucumber and various other fruits. Ash always enjoyed salad, a rarity on a ship due to its perishability, he picks up a handful, forgoing the cutlery, and starts eating. Amy smells a pepper before moving them all away from the food she wants, a look of disgust on her face. She must associate it with the ones he collected on the mountain, though that’s a lowland pepper and has no heat. "It is not like the other peppers. It will not burn you." "You didn't think the last one would be so bad either. It smells similar. I don't like it." She picks up a piece of cucumber and smells it before frowning again. "It taints everything it touches" No wonder she can’t cook, Amy has obviously no concept of the basics of the interactions of flavour. "It adds flavour to the whole dish, I will exchange the peppers for my dessert." "You don't want your dessert?” She drops the cucumber with her face scrunched up with distaste. “We don't have to exchange, I'm not eating them full stop." Ash is trying to be nice, he has observed people being nice and this is one of his attempts at replicating it. He guesses that, from Amy’s reaction, it didn’t work. He’ll continue to learn how to do it until he gets it right. "Do you not want my dessert?" "Well… maybe" Nice is hard. "Yes or no?" "Yes, but only if you don't want it.” She says very quickly before smiling broadly at him, “You don't even know what it is" "I will probably not want it anyway. I cannot eat as much as you."

Amy shrugs, picking up a bit of lettuce and smelling it before putting it back and pushing the platter towards Ash, for someone who loves food she can be picky "Your species is slower, it makes sense you don't eat very much. I think. Mannistone doesn't eat much either." Ash thinks back to all the times she has returned to him thin and malnourished, the fact that she loves eating copious amounts of food makes it even more remarkable that Amy puts herself in these situations. "You can eat, I would not want you to be sad." He makes a mental note, when she is with him and there is food plentiful to make sure she is always well-fed. Ash thinks he does that anyway, but now it will always be forethought. "I'm not sad. I have everything I could want here." She is satisfied, a worry he's always had is being unable to satisfy her. His life is relatively quiet and she is always putting herself in danger. Amy says she’s doing it for her friend but Ash suspects she would be bored otherwise, a feeling he has become accustomed to over the last two years. "Except without the peppers." "Nah, the peppers make you like it more. If you're happy, I'm happy." She gives him her easy coming smile. He uses that smile like gulls, when you see it you are close to home.

#The Holiday #char: ash #char: amy #place: Tortillilya #sex ref #tw: sex

also this boy will probably be the first cis boy i hook up with how do i hook up with a cis boy im gonna need to explain my body to him if we end up getting to a point where im comfy w him interacting w certain parts of my body lol

#skylar's adventures in college #i'm gay #sex ref

I've been getting, more and more upset about how sex got at the end,

#skylar's adventures in college #sex ref #breakup stuff

The last thing i want to do is upset you so i'm sorry if this does :( i just was wondering if girl direction is always inherently transphobic? because can't girl direction be trans girls or intersex or include demigirls and other identities? like i know that cisswap and writing vagina/vagina sex is super reductive and horrible, but is there something bad about all girl direction fic, or is it just that most of it has transphobia implied or associated with it? <3 hope you're okay

i’ve talked about this here and here and here and yeah here. lo has a good piece here about it and this is a good long summary and this is a good short summary .

as a short answer, yes, cisgirl!direction is always transphobic, and v specifically transmisogynistic. gendervariant!direction is not (at least not like cisgirl!_; by simple virtue of its existence) and also is fine and Good (also, like notably - don’t know why this is getting lost in the void but - this is what i write and love!!! i am 400% here for transgirldirection, for transdirection??? fucking give me transdirection.)

as a personal answer, girldirection can be trans, yeah, but no one ever creates it like that. so. girldirection may be trans, but really, it isn’t, no.

@ people asking me for clarifications on my recent remarks regarding cisgirl stuff: my spoons are low wrt this topic. please read the above linked and also posts in the related tags #trans talk and #writing talk before asking any questions, thank you.

#conversies #trans talk #gender talk #writing talk #sex ref #discussion of transmisogyny #discussion of transphobia #aroacestars