#seyda rambles

[dirty-bosmer]

Me: I love writing :D

Reviewer two: please make these revisions that will take an hour at most

Me: I am in hell

[dirty-bosmer]

Thank you for all the recent tags, friends ❤️ I'm getting to everyone's stuff slowly, as I am on a work trip atm and am 12+ hours ahead of my usual timezone (RIP my sleep 😅). Who knows if I'll post any of my own WIPs this week, but as always, I appreciate seeing yours!

[dirty-bosmer]

First Manuscript Review — Woof

Got my manuscript reviews back and was told the research was interesting, well-written, and fun to read but ultimately required major revisions. I'm embarrassed to admit that I cried about this. Even though the reviews were kind and the article wasn't rejected, for about an hour after opening the email, a very nasty, very loud voice within me kept saying, "wow, you're so stupid. Why didn't you get it right the first time? Why didn't you catch all these holes in the discussion before you sent it out? Now all your colleagues think you're an idiot."

Came back after taking a breather and can confidently say I'm being dramatic (as usual lol). I am a grad-student. This is my first time submitting a manuscript as first-author. Did I really think I wouldn't make mistakes or require some constructive critique in order to be a better scientist?

The reviews are ultimately going to make this paper more accurate and more informative. Every scientist in my field should strive toward the same goal, no? Idk if any other early-career academics need to hear this, but I really did; critique can sting and bruise, but it doesn't mean your work is bad. Don't let your ego get in the way of producing the best work you're capable of. Be kind to yourself. You are still learning ❤️

[dirty-bosmer]

Farkas

When I first installed Skyrim on my PC, I downloaded a follower overhaul mod (I think it was UFO) that would randomly strip my followers upon entering new cells. Normally this wouldn’t be such a big issue because there was a dialogue option to be like “hey, you’re naked...” and they’d slip back into the highest rated armor in their inventory. Also, they were just in their vanilla undergarments so it wasn’t anything scandalous. 

BUT I had at some point downloaded a Hot Skyrim Man mod that gave Farkas and Brynjolf and some other NPCs complete cosmetic makeovers that included custom bodies. And when those characters experienced the glitch, they were completely naked underneath. 

I distinctly remember playing through the companion’s quest Proving Honor, when suddenly Farkas walks into Dustmans Cairn, turns to me dick and balls out for all the draugr to see, at the exact moment that my mom looks over from her sewing machine. She says “Oh, is that your boyfriend? He’s very handsome,” then returns to her sewing like nothing happened at all.

Not sure why I unlocked this memory tonight. Not sure what to do with it now that it is here.

[dirty-bosmer]

Oh my god, I'm writing again. Oh my god, it's not my dissertation 🤡

[dirty-bosmer]

Listen, as much as I love science, conferences are truly exhausting. Everywhere you turn, you're bumping into the world's expert in a given field. You're always expected to be 'on,' meanwhile I'm just standing there like🧍 pls when is coffee break

[dirty-bosmer]

I will finish this dang chapter tonight. It’s been a month now, come on 😤

[dirty-bosmer]

brb putting my characters through the meatgrinder 🥰