"Did we just queue two and a half hours for a bowl of noodles and some fish balls?"
As some of you more avid readers may know: our very own photographer and all-round clever clogs, Emil 'placeholder' Tan, is from the exotic, far-away land of Singapore. You probably don't know much about the place, and I wouldn't blame you. After all, it's basically just a city that decided one day that it had had enough of belonging to other countries and thought 'fuck it, we can do this shit on our own'. So they did. Turns out they're rather good at it as well.
Now imagine what would happen if you brought a whole host of British people together to celebrate our beautiful culture and wonderful food; to sing songs about how great our country really is and how much we love living here. Having a hard time picturing it? Yeah I can't see that happening anytime soon either. But, as I found out, Singaporeans have no qualms doing just this, they seem pretty chuffed to be from a tiny, brilliant, bustling, tropical island.
The day was organised by the big guys back in Singapore who, upon realising all their awesome citizens were suddenly leaving, decided it would be nice to remind everyone that what they really want to do in life is go home: back to their families, back to their favourite street food vendors, back to their lucrative jobs that generate vast sums of money and interest for the high earners. The whole day was free though so I'm not complaining.
To be fair, the limited food I was able to sample was pretty impressive, I can see why hundreds of people crowded and queued for hours for each dish. Either that or the exhaustion, hunger and mental anguish that dominated my mind, after two and a half hours of queuing for a bowl of noodles and 7 fish balls, had worn me down to a point where a soggy boot lace and an old tennis ball would have tasted just fine. But really, I'm fairly sure the food was good. Would I queue again for another bowl? Well no, but there aren't many things in the World worth queuing two and a half hours for. I also tasted what should be a standard replacement for the builder's brew: the fabled Teh tarik... a smooth, milky concoction of liquid sweetness. Would go well with a croissant.
At one point, The Honourable Lee Hsien Loong, third Prime Minister of Singapore, turned up to take selfies with unsuspecting visitors. If we weren’t stuck in the queue for noodles, I might have ventured to say hello, but alas, it was not meant to be; perhaps another time. If you’re reading this Mr Lee, let me know when you’re available for a coffee and I’ll see what I can do. After another sing song about how much everyone loves Singapore, we queued some more for dessert; a sort of sweet bean porridge that I was told tasted nothing like the original. Who am I to complain though, it tasted ok and it was free.
All in all it was enjoyable day out and an intriguing look into Singapore and its people. As a special treat to all you lucky readers: I managed to take home a few flags and a scarf to show off my new found nationalism, photos to come.
