barbie walks a path that’s growing more and more familiar to her, the more she has to spend time looking for shin because he won’t respond to her calls or messages. it’s a nice walk from the humanities building to the law building. the beginning of winter means the trees are bare and looking a little pitiful, but the transience of nature is beautiful in its own way. it reminds her of snowy christmases back in the states, hot cocoa, and opening presents. the crispness of the air is refreshingly sharp and the chatter of students provides a soothing backdrop.
chasing after shin feels more nostalgic than she thought it would. in the years that they spent apart, barbie had allowed the thoughts and memories of shin fade to the back of her mind. there were always more important things to be dealing with and thinking about, so many other achievements to chase and others who didn’t treat her like he did. it’s not the first time she’s come looking for him since her enrolment into the school, but she’d never really paused to consider the space that’s grown between them until now.
‘barbie, your brother’s just being a little stubborn. we just need you to go talk to him, alright? bring him home for seollal,’ mummy had said, but barbie’s starting to think there’s a lot more to whatever is going on between shin and their parents. she’s outside the classroom she knows he’s supposed to be having classes in (teaching?) before long and she waits for the students to start streaming out before she slips in.
“oppa! you’re free now, aren’t you? go to lunch with me,” she finds his unfamiliar silhouette amidst the crowd of students and she flashes him her best smile, the one that won her prom queen.
[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] are you going to keep ignoring me messages like this???[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] i know something is wrong other wise you would have replied[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] if you don’t respond i’m going to come over...[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] shin??? [ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] that’s it. i’m on my way!
💖- a loving text
( 5 ) NEW MESSAGES FROM LILY !!
[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] i noticed you were wearing something different than what you would normally wear.[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] what has cause this change?[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] i think i may actually like it a lot [ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] I MEAN WHAT?[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] ignore this. bye.
💤- a half-asleep text
( 5 ) NEW MESSAGES FROM LILY !!
[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] its like 2am and u r askin me about alcohol poisoning....[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] do you think it will kill u[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] tell me tomorrow what u think[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] surely u will come up with a n answer grad boy...[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] i’m going back to sleep.
🙏- an apologetic text
( 2 ) NEW MESSAGES FROM LILY !!
[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] remember that time when i slapped you because you were saying some dumb shit... well i still think about it and i’m sorry. i was too angry during that time and though you deserved all the force i put into it... i still feel bad about it. please forgive me 🙏 ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] i know it’s been a good bit since it happened but yeah. hopefully your cheek was okay after? ㅠㅠ
🗑️- a text that wasn’t sent
( 1 ) UNSENT MESSAGE FROM LILY !!
[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] that time i said that i liked you a lot. i really meant it you know. it’s not like i just liked you and that was it but it was like a like like like type of thing. like on that line of actually loving you but couldn’t cross because of the fact you kept doing what you did. i still worry about you a lot and care for you. that never changed. why am i even saying all of this. i wonder if you still care about me like you did when we first met. this is nonsense just ignore. yeah...
⚠️- a scared text
( 7 ) NEW MESSAGES FROM LILY !!
[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] hello[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] your ‘son’ is out here doing some weird shit[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] like not the normal weird but idk he picked up some kind of demonic language[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] NOW i’m here with the fucking sage and holy water and the bible[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] I DON’T KNOW WHATS GOING ON BUT IM LIKE FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE WTF[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] OMG okay i didn’t know seoul could get wild like this i shouldve stayed in brisbane [ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] COME GET THIS DEMON!
🚨- an urgent text
( 7 ) NEW MESSAGES FROM LILY !!
[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] HOW DO YOU LOSE A WHOLE CHILD [ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] did you try the cooking club or something [ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] you know maybe he just didn’t he- i mean feel his phone vibrate???[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] i’m leaving the dorm now...
[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] HAVE YOU FOUND AITO YET?[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] i looked every where... [ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] it’s not like i need ANYMORE stress in my life
🔪- a hateful text
( 2 ) NEW MESSAGES FROM LILY !!
[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] you know the more i think about it you really was a shitty boyfriend down the line. you literally ignore me and stood be up countless of times. now you just think its okay to just walk back in and think that ‘making it up’ to me is going to just win me back like that. seriously... i don’t usually get mad and i’m trying to see things from your side too because i know you’re going through things and all BUT YOU KEEP DOING THIS SAME SHIT OVER AND OVER. [ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] talk to me when you finally figure things out. i’m tired of running in circles with you like this.
😢- a sad text
( 5 ) NEW MESSAGES FROM LILY !!
[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] my parents called me again to tell me how much of a disappointment i was to them. especially my dad.[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] he keeps saying i could never live up to my brother. my brother is always going to be greater than me.[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] i don’t want to let it get to me but sometimes... i don’t know. i’m trying so hard...[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] i thought i was okay that.. i only needed to do what made me happy. i feel self-conscious about every thing. why do i keep letting his words get inside my head?[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] im ... rambling again. i’m sorry to bother. later...
😡- an angry text
( 1 ) NEW MESSAGES FROM LILY !!
[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] the next time you try and clown me it’s gonna be me tossing your sad ass off the school roof !
👋- a goodbye text
( 4 ) NEW MESSAGES FROM LILY !!
[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] thanks for the dinner.[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] let’s do it again sometime?[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] hopefully you send the invite to the right number in the future.[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] night~
🔎- a revealing text
( 1 ) NEW MESSAGES FROM LILY !!
[ text ⤑ shin ♡ ] why am i friends with all your exes?
he wakes up, immediately wanting to do something spontaneous, perhaps its his chaotic nature speaking to him. he had spent the entire morning looking at tattoo inspirations to get, mainly wanting something like shin hyung, but with his own flare in the mix. he grabs his phone by the table, beside his laptop:
(txt: plaketket group chat) kaiser: i want to get a tattoo
(txt: plaketket group chat) kaiser: like shin hyung
(txt: plaketket group chat) kaiser: but not like shin hyung
he needed some support, some rallying and maybe lily noona would shoot him down and tell him that it’s a bad idea, only to later stamp a pentagram onto her forehead whilst she’s asleep and tell her she was sleep walking and being possessed, give her a little spook. but hopefully, he wouldn’t have to resort to that. their little vacation to the haunted house was not very haunted, if anything it was quite liberating. an odd thought that negative energy would fuel his own positivity, unfathomable at best, but also somewhat amusing. he was sure shin would understand, he was rational unlike lily. and he couldn’t believe they used to be a thing, a weird thing, did she try to make shin a believer like her?
closing the tabs on his laptop as he reaches for his phone again:
(txt: plaketket group chat) kaiser: lily noona can get a pentagram on her forehead to ward off evil spirits
a really super fun thing about traumatic brain injuries is sometimes when olivia looks at words, all she sees are small dancers, doing their best at showing her what an electric slide would look like if performed by the characters that make up her name. they’re adorable, and fun, and olivia feels like ripping out every page in her philosophy notebook.
i think therefore i am, she highlights, frowning. this means, by default, that these little dancing machines are real, living beings. are they trapped? do they even know they’re alive? does anyone? olivia sure fuckin’ doesn’t.
olivia squints at the only other person stupid enough to sit in the locked down library in the math building.
unless he isn’t a stupid person. is he alive?
is he real?
olivia sits back in her chair a little. there’s a good chance that this guy is just made up. a projection, her therapist would correct, because olivia calls them her crazy people bullshit ~*visions*~ and ‘that isn’t a healthy thought, olivia. how can we reframe that?’
msg* (fis)shin(g) >> no I’m pretty sure I read in an article that if you squeeze lemon in your eyes then your eye colour will turn yellowmsg* (fis)shin(g) >> if I buy lemons then are you willing to try it out?msg* (fis)shin(g) >> ah sorry hyung, that was meant for somebody else :3
🚨 + an urgent text !
(kakaotalk)
02.39PM
msg* (fis)shin(g) >> hyun hyung hyung hyun ngyhung hyung hyung hyugng nhyung hyugn ghyugg ng hynngn hgugngmsg* (fis)shin(g) >> hyug hsjogn nyugjgnd hyguggng hyyugn helepen hyu ghyun hytyyunnmsg* (fis)shin(g) >> terhes a goose runnig after me pleas ehepe me mhung hehp hyung
( outgoing … shin?? i think )✦ how many people in the city own trampolines you think..✦ i’m doing a survey and now i’m curious do you own a trampoline???
❓ ; choose randomly < awkward >
( outgoing … shin?? i think )✦ hi uh curious what do the numbers on the back of basketball jerseys mean??????✦ do u guys just pick a number and go with it
♡ @sgnshin | the vast expanse of obsidian space between them is more suffocating than it is comforting.
moreso because the vast expanse isn’t really all that vast. or expansive.
instead it takes place within the world’s smallest coat closet -- one that half of the dahlia girls have been consistently requesting to have redone, while the other half was mute, found it’s usefulness during times like this. as if a game called seven minutes in heaven was something substantial.
it seemed to be substantial enough to sian of the past, whatever mix of cherry vodka the wolfbane boys had brought over leaving a pleasurable hum once it infiltrates her system, tipsy enough to agree to the game with an indulgent grin. it isn’t long before she comes to think that if there is some kind of god up there looking down upon the world, amusing himself with humans as if they were his illimitable supply of sims, she thinks that one -- he takes an immense amount of delight in her suffering, which seems to go against everything that an omnipotent god is supposed to stand for ( unless they’re greek or demonic ), and two -- his sense of humor is absolute shit, which leads back to thought number one. there’s a bottle that’s spun, and when brown hues gaze upon the other person it lands on besides herself, her first instinct is to laugh -- and she’s not sure if it’s the alcohol or the stress of the matter hitting her. her second instinct is to run.
after all, it’s what she’s been doing this whole time.
before she’s even allowed to emit either reaction there are lithe hands pushing her inside with such force it makes her confused, wondering how much a small girl like that could bench and it’s enough to keep her distracted so that she’s pushed into the closet with ease, shin following with a slam of the door behind him. so the vast expanse truly isn’t all that vast -- especially when the sheer weight of the awkward atmosphere between them drives her against the wall, has her back sliding down wallpaper until she’s seated upon the floor. it helps that the lights are off, at least, the party-goers most likely too drunk to realize. but if it weren’t for the bass of that played out camilla cabello song reverberating within the house, sian could probably hear the sound of shin’s breathing. she has to keep her knees to her chest so that her legs don’t accidentally brush upon his feet. it’s silent, and she’s sure this is how one of the rings of hell feels like. or maybe the bad place. same concept.
because what is she supposed to do? what is she supposed to say to someone who wished almost unforgivable things upon you when all you tried to do was help them? even if it was a while ago.
“uh ... hi. long time no see?”
well ... that, she guesses. and she always held such pride in being such a great conversationalist, only to have it draw a blank in a situation like this. it’s a start, after all.
