The words hang in the air for a minute after the door closes behind Maryse. Magnus looks at it for a few seconds, a sense of comfort and ease washing over him, something he never thought he’d ever associate with Maryse Lightwood.
Alexander’s eyes are trained on him. Magnus turns to see him, luminous hazel eyes looking at him as though he’s the reason behind everything good in the world.
It’s a smile that seems to float its way into the deepest recesses of his heart. For a moment, this moment, everything falls into place. Nothing is too difficult, or painful. Magnus can forget about the demonic activity ravaging the city, can forget about the infuriatingly smug expression on Lorenzo Rey’s face, because none of it matters. None of it, not when he has Alexander smiling at him like this, in a moment of peace.
Magnus feels like he’s loved him for years. Like their love was woven into the fabric of the universe from the moment of its inception.
He reaches forward and cups Alec’s face, and lets his thumb run across the curve of his cheekbone. Alec leans into his touch, smile widening. Magnus feels his heart flutter when he turns his head and presses his lips to Magnus’ palm.
Alec watches as Magnus drops his hand and walks back into the loft, watches as he lets out a sigh and stretches his arms out. And he wonders how he’d ever gone a day without feeling like this. Without feeling his stomach twist itself into knots, without feeling like forever was something that could have meaning.
He follows him inside, stopping right behind him and wrapping an arm around his waist. Alec presses his lips to his shoulder, and Magnus turns around in his arms, eyes shining.
“Thank you,” Alec says softly, “for tonight.”
“There’s nothing to thank me for, my love.” Magnus leans forward and pressing a soft kiss to Alec’s lips, “Anything for you.”
Alec smiles at him, lets himself memorise the soft uptick of Magnus’ lips. But soon, his mother’s face finds its way back into his mind. He remembers the tears that sprung to her eyes, tears she hid behind an unwavering voice and steadfast strength. His father had escaped the wrath of the Clave unscathed, and his mother was taking the brunt of everything. The injustice of it burns its way through him.
“I have to help her, Magnus.” Alec murmurs, letting his thumb draw little circles over the cloth covering Magnus’ hip, “She’s – she’s made her mistakes in the past, but deruning? It would ruin her life, everything she’s ever worked for. It’s so unfair.”
Magnus cups his face gently. His hands are warm, a contrast against the cool bumps of metal of the many rings that adorn his fingers. It’s a feeling Alec has come to associate with safety, and love, and home.
“We will help her, Alexander.” Magnus’ shine with conviction, “Whatever it takes – we will fight this. I promise you.”
Alec takes him in, the other half of his soul. The man who changed his life in the best way possible. Magnus gives him a smile then, a smile that sears itself into his memory. It touches the very tips of his being. It’s like a breath of fresh air, like feeling his head break the surface of water. Alec leans forward and rests his forehead against Magnus’. A small sigh falls from Magnus’ lips, a sound that grounds Alec against the chaos of the world raging outside. He pulls him closer, until all he can fathom is the adoration in his eyes, and Alec finds himself again in the steady beat of Magnus’ heart against his own.
Alec gets dragged to a double date, which might just bring some revelations to light.
Alec Lightwood/Magnus Bane, Simon Lewis/Jace Wayland Lightwood
Tags: Boys In Love, Friendship, Family, Post-Canon, Alcohol
for the lovely @magnusragnor aka my sun and stars ❤
read on ao3
“Absolutely not.”
“Alec, c’mon.”
Illuminated by the low light of his office, Alec silently gave up on the remaining reports he was due to finish that night. Instead, he took a long look through the room trying to focus on anything but the person who’d been bothering him with a single, absolutely impossible request.
Thinking back to how his day had begun, he sighed. With Magnus’ body pressed to his back, his warm breath hitting Alec’s neck, it had felt like the beginning of a perfect day. The golden rays of the sun had shone through the curtains, making Magnus’ bronze skin glow in a way that had left Alec breathless. And when those eyes had finally opened, and he had been met with hazy cat eyes and a soft smile, the only logical course of action had been to press sleepy kisses all over Magnus’ beautiful face. An hour later, Magnus had rushed off to breakfast with Luke while Alec had made his way over to the Institute, grin still on his face.
Nevertheless, his hopes for the day had been shattered the moment he reached the Ops centre, and thus, his brother. And now, three hours later, Alec still couldn’t believe the words double date have actually left Jace’s mouth.
“Alec, you’re my brother,” Jace said, Stele flitting between his fingers, “and you’ve never even had a single conversation with my boyfriend.”
His hand rose, but before Alec could voice his protests, Jace cut him off, “Threatening him doesn’t count.”
Taking a seat at the edge of Alec’s desk, Jace picked up the little rainbow flag Alec had surprisingly found in his office after his promotion. In truth, Alec had picked up on a change in Jace weeks ago, a spike of happiness every time he had been off patrol, a surge of warmth on particularly cold nights. Guilt crawled up his throat like bile when he realised that he had never been very nice to Simon after all.
“Look,” Jace continued, “I just want you to meet my boyfriend. And Simon loves Magnus, so I thought it’d be a good idea.”
Sighing, Alec turned off his tablet for good, all work forgotten. Looking up at Jace and seeing him nervously play with his Stele made him reconsider his previous reluctance, and like a true big brother, he caved.
“I’m going home for lunch. I’ll ask Magnus whether he wants to go.”
Grinning triumphantly, Jace pushed off the desk, and pulled his phone out of his back pocket. “Thank you, man. I really appreciate it.” Reaching the door, he stopped once and turned back. “You know if Magnus is working, we can do it another night, doesn’t have to be today.”
“He’s off at three today,” Alec answered absentmindedly, taking the pralines he bought earlier today out of the cupboard under his desk. His words were met with silence, and when he looked up, Jace had an amused smile on his face. “What?”
“Nothing,” Jace said, grin brighter than before, “see you later, brother. Enjoy lunch.”
There were many things that Alec expected to see once he arrived at their loft, but a vampire standing in the middle of the living room was not one of them.
“Oh! Hey, Alec. Hey!” Simon said when he saw Alec walk through the door, brows furrowed. “You know I was just talking to Magnus about that double date Jace and you organised and we— and that does not look like a happy face.”
“Where’s Magnus?”
Leaving his shoes at the door, Alec strode into the room. The curtains were wide open, sunlight streaming into the room.
“He’s making some potion for Bat. He’s new to the whole downworlder thing so Maia and I are helping him out a bit, showing him the ropes. You know how it is.”
A nod is all that Alec was willing to give in that moment, and it left them standing in silence. A few moments later, Simon raised his hand again, ready to fall into another anecdote when the door to the study opened.
“There you go— Alexander!”
Meeting Magnus half way, Alec let himself be pulled into a kiss, his hand lingering at Magnus’ neck. Slowly pulling apart, they kept their foreheads pressed together.
“Hey, baby,” Alec murmured, dragging his nose against Magnus’, “how was work?”
“It was good. Better now that you’re here,” Magnus answered, fond little smile on his face. Unfortunately, whatever else they were about to say was interrupted by a vampire underestimating his own speed and running into a cupboard.
“Ow,” Simon yelped, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt. You guys are really sweet, really, it’s just that I really need to take that potion to Bat.”
Pressing a last kiss to Alec’s cheek with a fond eyeroll, Magnus strode forward again, the grace in his body ever present.
“This time,” Magnus continued, “read the instructions carefully, the potion won’t work otherwise.”
Pressing the bottle into Simon’s hand, Magnus briefly raised his own to rest it on Simon’s shoulder. “Give Bartholomew and Maia my best, Simon.”
“I will. Thank you,” Simon said, blinding smile on his face. Alec had to admit that he appreciated his manners. “So, do I just call Luke, you know, because of the payment for— “
“Nonsense,” Magnus interjected, hand cutting Simon off with a flourish, “I’m always happy to help a young werewolf adjust to the Downworld. That being said, I am running low on vampire hair..”
Chuckling, Simon bowed, arms raised, “Take what you need.”
There was an easy familiarity between them, in the way the respect shone in Simon’s eyes, the way Magnus inquired after Simon’s family, his Yom Kippur dinner. Alec watched as the sunlight hit them, bathing their forms in its golden glow. He was momentarily distracted by Magnus’ beauty, by the desire to kiss the fond smile on his face, but then his eyes turned right to the sight of Simon lifting his hand into the rays of the sun. A small smile bloomed on his face, drenched in tragedy. It made Alec remember something Magnus said during one of their late night conversations. The Downworld lives with a shared pain, Alexander.
Fighting the developing lump in his throat, he watched Simon wave at him before speeding back to the door, and disappearing through it. When he turned back to Magnus there was a knowing smile on his face.
“So, that double date..,” Magnus trailed off, stepping closer to Alec.
“Yeah.” Alec sighed.
Frowning, Magnus lead them both to the couch, and once seated raised a hand to Alec’s cheek.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, it’s just..” Alec answered, taking a moment to kiss Magnus’ palm, “I love our dates because it’s just us. Together. Sharing this with someone else feels.. weird.”
“You know we don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”
“No, I do.” Alec shook his head with a chuckle. “I think it’s time to finally meet my brother’s boyfriend. Jace has been talking about him nonstop for weeks. I can’t hold it off any longer.”
Turning around, Alec laid back against Magnus’ chest, strong arms immediately wrapping around him. Suddenly, a soft melody began playing in the background, and everything seemed bearable again.
“You and Simon.. seem close,” Alec said after a few seconds of silence. He felt a kiss being pressed into his hair.
“We are,” Magnus began, “Simon had been lost when he first came to me, and Camille had already tried to sink her claws into him. I offered to help him find his place. He did most of the work himself, but I’m not one to refuse rightful praise no matter how small the part I played.”
Chuckling, Magnus dragged his hand up Alec’s torso, until it reached his own hand lying on his chest. Their fingers tangled together, fitting perfectly into the space inbetween. And as Magnus’ thumb gently started caressing Alec’s skin, his voice grew softer as well.
“He reminds me of myself, sometimes. A young boy who is thrown into this new world, alone, without any guidance. I won’t let anyone else suffer through it on their own.”
Alec felt his chest expand, adoration and admiration rushing into him. In moments like these, he could scarcely believe that he was the one allowed to hold the strongest of hearts in his shaking hands. Then, Alec became all too aware of the smirk being pressed against his hair. There was something else, something that Magnus had---
“So, we’re really going on that double date then?”
“We are,” Magnus said, amusement strong in his tone.
“Babe,” Alec whined.
“Don’t babe me,” Magnus admonished, “You’re going to like Simon. I know it.”
A few seconds, and Alec looked up, worrying at his bottom lip. “You sure?”
“Yes, absolutely. I promise you.”
“I trust you,” Alec answered with as much conviction he could pour into his voice. Turning his head slightly, pressed his lips to Magnus’ cheek. “We still have a little time, don’t we?”
Magnus’ hum reverberated through Alec’s whole body, just as the warmth when he finally pressed his lips to Alec’s own. Seconds turned into minutes, and lunch was soon forgotten.
The Hunter’s Moon was filled with chatter, easily overpowering the low music playing through the jukebox in the corner of the room. It was loud and slightly chaotic, exactly the way Alec remembered it to be. He sent a smile to Maia at the bar, who threw both of them a wink, before spotting Simon waving at them from a booth to the far right. Immediately, he was full of determination to turn right back around, but was dragged forward by Magnus and their intertwined hands.
“Alec! Magnus! Hey!” Simon’s voice carried through the space between them. There was a bright smile nearly splitting his face in two, and a slight flush to his cheek that told Alec, as he had expected from Jace, that they had been there a while longer already.
“Hello, Simon,” Magnus said, nudging Alec until he gave a short nod. Pursing his lips, he took a look around the room.
“Hey! Jace is getting us drinks. Well, us as in us two. We didn’t know what you liked, well Jace said Alec doesn’t like anything but I know you guys go out drinking together, so I’m pretty sure that’s not true. But then I’ve never seen him drink, and I didn’t want to— “
“I’m going to get us,” Alec interrupted, gesturing between Magnus and himself, “some drinks.”
He took a moment to press a kiss to Magnus’ cheek before making his way over to the bar, occasionally greeting the people he recognized from previous visits. Jace wasn’t hard to spot, considering that he attracted the annoyed looks from all other people at the bar for keeping Maia in a heated discussion.
“I’m not asking for a free drink, Maia, I would never do that.”
“He says, while asking for a free drink.”
“Jace, stop bothering Maia, she’s got a job to do,” Alec said, amusement colouring his features. Leaning against the bar, he watched Jace give him an affronted look.
“Betrayed by my own Parabatai, my brother,” he said dramatically, pressing a hand to his chest.
Rolling his eyes, Alec greeted Maia with a smile before turning back to Jace. “You’re spending too much time with Simon.”
“I can never spend too much time with Simon.”
Suddenly, two glasses were placed in front of them, and Alec smiled at the sight of them. For a moment, memories of the nights spent testing various drinks came to his mind. Magnus’ delighted laughter when Alec spit out the whiskey he tried at the distillery they visited, the fondness when he kissed Magnus with wine stained lips. Fancy drinks suit you well, Alexander.
“Two glasses of champagne for Magnus’ favourite Shadowhunter,” Maia said, deliberately ignoring Jace’s indignant protests.
“Thank you,” Alec answered. He was almost out of his seat when his gaze fell on Magnus across the room. The low light made his skin glow gold, and when he threw back his head to laugh at something Simon had said, Alec couldn’t help but let out a small sigh.
“You’ll have to wait that’s his ‘I just saw my boyfriend’ look, he’ll be back in a minute,” Jace explained, smirk on his lips.
“Shut up.” Alec countered intellectually, “Thank you, Maia. Could I get a whole bottle, please?”
“Coming right up.”
He threw her another thankful smile, already laying the money onto the counter. Jace was quick to grab him by his arm, leaning into his space.
“Dude,” he said, “that’s a huge tip. I’m pretty sure even the Head of the Institute doesn’t get paid that much.”
Taking the bottle from Maia, as well as the two glasses off the counter, Alec turned, already making his way back to the table before throwing his next words over his shoulder.
“My boyfriend’s rich.”
To Alec’s surprise, talking to Simon was easy. He had always thought him too wordy, but his enthusiasm was infectious, and he found himself laughing along to whatever story he told. It helped that Magnus had a permanent smile on his face, and if Alec missed the ending of several jokes because he was too busy staring at his man’s beautiful face, no one was the wiser. One hour turned to two, to three, and when Magnus ordered their second bottle of champagne, he felt the alcohol buzzing in his blood.
“Wait a second,” Alec said, hands raised as if he had just experienced the most riveting epiphany. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Magnus slowly put his glass back onto the table. “Simon. If Magnus is like a father figure to you, does that mean... that I'm your stepfather?”
“Oh my god.”
“Alec, no.”
“Alexander..”
Not one to be deterred, Alec turned to Magnus, his raised hands coming to rest on his shoulders. His very broad.. focus, Alec.
“I will take good care of Simon, Magnus. I promise.”
“Thank you, Alexander,” Magnus said, gaze just as serious as Alec’s. There was, however, a slight twitch to his lips that Alec missed, too focused on bringing his words across.
“Magnus,” he continued, “I want to have your children.”
“Alexander,” Magnus brought his own hands up to cup Alec’s face, “that’s not how it works.”
“Magnus,” Alec tried a second time, “I want to adopt your children.”
“That’s.. better, surprisingly.”
“Does that mean I get to call Alec Dad now?”
Magnus kept Alec’s eyes on him when they grew wide, but he still saw Jace turn Simon’s face to him, shaking his head fondly. A few whispered words and their lips met, both smiling into the kiss. However, this made it possible for him to miss Alec very elegantly reaching for their last pizza slice and throwing it at Jace’s head.
“No smooching my son, Jace!”
Putting his head in his hands, Magnus took a deep breath, but even that couldn’t prevent the giggles from spilling past his lips. He was in the midst of trying to block out the sounds of kissing from the two men in front of him when he was startled by the face nuzzling into his shoulder blades.
“Don’t be mad at me, Magnus,” Alec murmured, face pressed into his back.
Turning slowly, Magnus wrapped his arms back around Alec, one hand on his neck pulling him closer. “I’m not mad. What makes you say that?”
“I’m not a good father,” Alec clarified, pouting.
Pushing their foreheads together, Magnus kissed the pout off his mouth, “You’ll be a wonderful father, baby.” Another kiss to his nose, and Alec was beaming again. “Actually, if you want we could visit Catarina and Madzie tomorrow? I’m sure she’ll be delighted to see her uncles again.”
Smile growing impossibly wider, Alec grabbed Magnus’ lapels and pushed their lips together.
Their laughter brought the kiss to a quick end, and Alec leaned back, surveying the people before him. The love of his life, his brother, his.. close friend he supposed, it couldn’t be more perfect. He was proven wrong mere seconds later when their laughter filled their shared space. Alec closed his eyes briefly, revelling in the happiness around him. The way Jace and Simon seemed to fit together so well, the way Magnus’ laughter was genuine and beautiful. Opening them again, he was met with Magnus’ gentle smile, the light hitting him just right, framing his face, his goatee. He looked like liquid gold, like a painting drawn with as much love as the artist could muster. But with all his beauty, the one thing that made Alec’s heart beat faster, made his breathing heavier, was the kindness in Magnus’ eyes as he moved his hand to softly caress Alec’s shoulder.
Something slotted into place in that moment. And a feeling Alec had known for a long while finally made itself clear.
This is the man I am going to marry. This is my family.
“Oh my god and that time you wanted to stay by Izzy’s crib all night to make sure she wouldn’t stop breathing? And when you cried for days when I wouldn’t let you stay up all night to do that?” Maryse says between her laughter.
Alec groans and lets his head fall backwards. “God, Mom, I’m starting to regret inviting you.”
“Oh hush,” she says, taking a sip of her wine before continuing, “Oh, and when you refused to leave the Institute unless I let you wear your bright yellow Curious George rain boots to that Consul meeting in Idris –”
“Mom!” Alec blurts out, throwing his mother an incredulous look.
Beside him, Magnus bursts into laughter, a rushing, beautiful sound that lights up the entire room. It’s completely unreserved, in the way his eyes crinkle and the way he throws his head back, and it stops Alec’s breath for just a second. All the embarrassment is worth it, just to hear that laugh, to see the way guileless joy takes over the man he loves. He finds himself smiling uncontrollably. And how could he not, really, when the sun itself seems to have found its place in the man sitting beside him?
“Oh, Alexander,” Magnus gets out between laughs, wiping underneath his eyes with a finger, “Where did that incredible sense of fashion go? I’m horrified I missed it.”
“It’s coming back to me.” Alec grins, thinking back to the look of pure adoration he’d seen in Magnus’ eyes when he’d slowly buttoned up his shirt for him earlier, “Thanks to you.”
It’s the kind of evening that leaves Alec with all kinds of warmth in his chest. He sits across from his mother, watching her smile and laugh and joke with the love of his life. At one point, he takes Magnus’ hand in his under the table and squeezes it gently, and Magnus looks at him, with a small smile that seems to clear the skies with the way it makes his heart dance in his chest. Magnus lifts their joined hands up to his lips and presses a gentle kiss to Alec’s knuckles. Alec looks across the table to see his mother smiling at them, eyes shining with the kind of joy that had been missing from her in the last few months.
Magnus lets their hands fall into his lap, and his thumb runs gently across the skin of Alec’s palm, and Alec knows then.
Malec + “My nightmares are (usually) about losing you.”
Darkness stretched over the loft, the living room only illuminated by the cold light of the moon. His steps were heavy, dragging on the ground with lost sleep, as he made his way into the room. The lack of warmth made it easy to forget. Easy to concentrate on the silence around him, the charcoal that was draped over the world. The vibrant colours of the day were only memories now, a vivid dream just as the one haunting him once again.
Another sleepless night etched in this paralyzing feeling of despair that had become maybe too familiar to Magnus.
While the darkness brought temporary respite, Magnus was ever too aware that peace had always been part of destruction. It made him regret his decision to wander into his living room, leave the calming presence in his bed. The inability to check whether the images invading his mind were real or not left him reeling with dread, his anxieties rising and rising.
Despite his nerves, his limbs felt as if they were filled with lead, impossible to be moved. His body fell into his armchair, gaze fixed on nothing. Over and over, it played in his mind. And as the song began anew, his eyes caught the vase of flowers standing on the table in front of him. Alec had brought them with him yesterday, or was it still today? A charming little smile on his face, a bounce in his steps. Pressing a kiss to his lips, he had murmured Something beautiful for the most beautiful man I know.
Magnus had felt his heart soar then, now he felt the cracks spread, threatening to break it in two.
Oh, how he longed to drown his sorrows. The peacefulness of washed away thoughts and a still mind. He wanted to sink to the bottom of the ocean, let the water take him, and drain his mind of the pain he couldn’t escape.
Nevertheless, all he could do was sit there in the darkness of the night and endure. As he had always done. Leaning back into the chair, he closed his eyes, ready to face his fate. And as expected, his dream invaded his senses once again as everything else dulled.
Wilted flowers, faded colours, death and darkness and—
A hand fell to his knee.
Startled, Magnus was ripped out of his mind, the images of dead roses fading into nothing. In his contemplation, he had not noticed Alec kneeling before him. For a moment, he was transported back to that one night, filled with confessions and comfort. It seemed like ages ago.
“Magnus?”
Alec’s voice was calm, but the anxiety shone clear in his eyes. Hair still sleep mussed, and slowly moving limbs made it clear that the night was still clinging to him. Still, his eyes were intense, mind more awake than his body as he moved his hand to Magnus’ thigh, rubbing soothing circles into his skin.
“I’m fine, Alexander. Couldn’t sleep,” Magnus interjected before Alec could voice his worries. Shooting him a weak smile, he hoped it would prevent the questions.
“Magnus,” Alec cut in, “if you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine. But please, don’t pretend like nothing’s bothering you. I’m your husband, I know you.”
With a weak chuckle, Magnus let his head fall. Of course, Alec would see right through him. He had always looked past the mask and right into Magnus’ soul.
“You know I worry,” Alec continued, “Even if I don’t know what’s going on.” Taking a deep breath, Alec raised his other hand to Magnus’ cheek. “Did you have a nightmare again?”
Nodding, Magnus tried to focus on Alec’s thumb caressing his face, the feeling grounding him in reality. With a heavy heart, he lifted his head, finally meeting Alec’s eyes, filled with concern. Silently, Magnus cursed himself.
“I didn’t want to burden you with whatever my mind managed to conjure.”
“Baby.” Alec raised his other hand from Magnus’ thigh up to his cheek, and moved a little closer. With both hands now framing Magnus’ face, Alec kept Magnus from averting his eyes. “You are never a burden. I love you, your mind too. All of you.”
Despite the still present darkness, Magnus felt some of the cold leave his body, warmth spreading at his fingertips.
“Usually,” Magnus began, “my nightmares are about losing you.” Tears gathered behind his eyelids, his voice cracked with suppressed emotion. “Flowers wilt and die, time keeps running away from me and I can only stand there and watch it all fade away, helpless. And even my magic just proves to be.. useless. I’ve never felt so weak.”
“Hey,” Alec murmured, “is this because our anniversary is coming up?”
“It made me think,” Magnus affirmed, “If we hadn’t made that choice..”
“But we did, Magnus.”
Alec pushed even closer, resting his forehead against Magnus’ own, and pressed a kiss to his cheek. His body a wall between Magnus and the darkness of his past.
“Next week,” he paused to press another kiss next to Magnus’ lips, “it’ll be 55 years since you married me. Since I married you and thought that was it, the happiest moment of my life. Then, you asked me to spend eternity with you.”
Magnus’ smile grew with each word, and each kiss. Reality sinking in again.
“50 years now,” he said.
“50 years,” Alec confirmed, his smile soft and full of love. “I can’t promise you not to get hurt, and I know you can’t do that either. We lead dangerous lives after all. You know that, Mr. High Warlock of Brooklyn. But time will never chase us again, that’s a promise I can make.”
Wrapping his arms around his husband, Alec pulled them into an embrace. Warm and safe.
“It just doesn’t feel real, sometimes.” Magnus pressed the words into Alec’s shoulder.
“50 years are nothing compared to the years you lived, I understand. You’ll get used to me yet.”
“Alexander,” Magnus chuckled softly, playfully pushing Alec away from him. Laughing, Alec caught Magnus’ hand in his, pressing a kiss to the palm.
“We’re forever, Magnus.”
A soaring heart, a loving smile. Time was a limitless ocean, no horizon to be seen.
He remembered the last time he had stood in this hallway.
The darkness, the weight that had been pressing him down, further and further until the only future he had seen had been one of eternal suffering. He had pushed and prodded, coated this place in the same poison that had been sucking the life out of him all that time ago.
He had been cold then. Freezing as he had watched his life walk away from him. Now, his heart was caught in a raging fire.
Standing there, still standing there, all Alec could do was watch the closed elevator doors. All this time spent struggling between his duties and his heart, without even considering that Magnus was doing the same. How hard that decision must have been. The numbness elevated after hundreds of years, but all happiness thwarted by the universe herself. Longing filled Alec’s chest, moving up and up until tears sprang to his eyes. Longing to find comfort in love’s arms, and give his own in return.
He wanted so desperately—
He couldn’t.
With burning limbs, he watched the closed doors. It seemed as if all air had been sucked out of the building, his breathing rough as tears fell down his cheeks. Closing his eyes, he begged the world for gentleness. For both of them, whether together or apart. He begged for his heart to stop bleeding, for the strength to move, for Magnus to come back to him, for for for—
Alec wakes to light streaming through the windows, and the sound of a city coming to life. His eyes blink open slowly as he tries to discern why his bed seems softer than he remembers.
Before, his first thought would have been of missions and reports. Clave representatives and mothers to please, soldiers who he had to train. The rays of the sun only ever brought about burdens and worries, the weight descending upon his shoulders as he rose from the bed.
Now, once he realises that his bed seems softer because it is in fact not his own bed, his thoughts stray to the one person who occupies his mind more often than not these days. For one terrifying second, Alec is brought back to the events of the day before. To an activated sword, bodies upon bodies of downworlders, the panic of searching through the Institute; two times, three, four, his eyes refusing to stray to the dead despite the hopelessness that is slowly creeping up his veins.
Oh God.
Terror grips his soul and chases away any trace of sleep left as Alec sits up, his eyes darting through the room frantically, his hand lands on his chest and he wonders briefly whether his heart has left his throat already when he looks to the right and- oh.
There it is.
His breath leaves him in a rush, and the feelings that hit him at the sight almost threaten to overwhelm him.
Magnus is curled up at the edge of the bed. Body turned towards Alec’s, arm stretched out across the bed. There’s no make up on his face, no worries clouding his features either. It’s just calm breaths, and the beauty that makes up his very being.
Alec remembers now, and lies back down. Hand tucked under his head, his eyes never leaving Magnus’ face as he slowly inches closer to him. He never thought he could have this. Lying in bed with another man. Not even his dreams could give him the peace that he feels right in this moment.
But that’s not exactly what this is, is it? Alec can’t help but smile, beam really, when he realises that he’s not just next to a man, but the man he loves.
The man who loves him.
I can’t believe this is real.
The memories of the time after that confession come back to him and he buries his face into the bed, a blush on his cheeks.
Arriving at the loft, still holding onto each other. Slow kisses, followed by wandering hands, declarations of love and adoration whispered into the other’s skin. All the while trying to chase away the lingering sadness that was clinging to Magnus. You will never be too much for me, I love you, and everything that you are.
Suddenly, Alec is hit with the urgent desire to touch. It only takes a second for him to realise that he is allowed to, that his boyfriend wouldn’t mind waking up to him, the man he loves. Slowly, he turns his head and reaches out. Lets his hand caress Magnus’ face, follows the strong lines of his jaw, swipes his thumb under his eyes. And when Magnus groggily turns his face to Alec’s hand, he grows even bolder, intertwines their legs, and presses kisses to Magnus’ fluttering eyelashes. WakeupWakeupWakeup.
The sight of Magnus opening his eyes takes his breath away. It’s not only the cat eyes that are blinking back at him sleepily, but the smile that overtakes Magnus’ entire face, creeping up to his cheekbones and sinking into his gaze.
“Mmmh, Good morning, Alexander.”
His voice is still heavy with sleep. But Magnus has never felt more awake. Has never felt more alive, he corrects himself. Waking up to hazel eyes looking down on him, kisses being pressed into his skin, his soul held together by Alec’s arms around him, revives his heart in ways he had forgotten long ago. He never thought he could have this. Not after Camille. Not after always giving too much and receiving nothing in return. Not after holding his heart out for countless people to take, only to get it thrown back at his feet again and again and again.
He had been scared of Alec’s power over him. Ever since that night Alec’s heart had stopped beating, and Magnus had felt his own shattering in his chest. It had been then that he realised that once again, he had fallen too soon, too fast.
Valentine had only confirmed that thought. Escaping the Institute with Madzie only seconds before he felt the overwhelming power of the soul sword had been terrifying enough. Realising that Alec was still in that building, surrounded by the enemy, all the while knowing that he was powerless to help him in any way, left him breathless and afraid. But portalling back after he had secured the rest of the downworld, and seeing Alec standing there, alive. That feeling was indescribable. He couldn’t help but run, holding onto his heart with both hands like his life depended on it.
But this time, and Magnus still couldn’t quite believe it was real, love was given to him. Held out for him to take. And with that quiet amazement that always accompanies his thoughts of Alec, he reaches out, winds his arms around Alec’s body, and brings their foreheads together. Which promptly makes Alec let out a disapproving sound.
“I wasn’t done kissing you.”, Alec’s voice is still at a whisper, but the smile in his voice betrays his delight at their new position.
“Oh? This can be rectified.”
Magnus feels almost giddy as he slowly pushes Alec onto his back, presses him into the bed, and gently brushes their noses together. Oh, how I love you, and everything that you are. They stay like this for a few seconds, gazing into each other’s eyes, breathing the same air.
“I love you.”
The words fill the space between them. They can’t remember who said it first, they only know that their hearts feel like bursting, threatening to become one. Every touch, every kiss is joined by the words that have described them for far longer than they have been spoken.
In a few hours, life will call again. But until then, they love.
