#sha rambles

[shaloved30]

Ok so here me out ya'll...while I can definitely see a history of her straightening Ava's clothes- for appearances. But also, how are we feeling about this being a placeholder for not being able to move Ava's hair outta her face? Also, I can't even let myself think too long about this being smack dab on her way down to her breast like Crystal, madam what are you doing:?? In public?? Cause there is no logical reason for her to do this

[shaloved30]

I hate having to block post/people on here, but folks are really missing how biphobic they sound and it's so upsetting and unsettling in general and even wilder that they get that outta pocket over fiction that's supposed to be open and free for all types of ships and stories in a fandom space with like minds that shy away from isms and general grossness

[shaloved30]

Ok so um..yeah about that

I've been trying to not post about this but I feel like the tip was either

Crystal

Dalisha Sloss

or

Dia and idk why this last one feels the most likely. And the others too obvious. Dia though? She has been the most stone-faced, somewhat unhappy secretary after Venus left and she did say she was already "preparing her case" two episodes ago and then tonight she actually had that line..and Ava that reaction like...

[shaloved30]

Not to be dramatic on main about it but I think Crystal broke Ava's heart, and her trust, and maybe she had hopes and dreams that included her and a life and family* she dared to dream she might live and have and then Crystal moved on without her. Leaving her and promises broken at [redacted school name here I plan to hopefully use} to finish late and hate every day left on that campus without her doing so

(This I think in my headcanon is a semi-big one and why it still lingers and hurts so much- which translates to anger and snark)

Somewhere in the aftermath or chaos could definitely be something that caused the fallout with the other sisters no doubt and they all obviously took a side.

@tani-b-art @fuckthegurlz

[shaloved30]

That's it..that's really why i think Barbara and Ava are starting to consume me because in a lot of ways though vastly different shows and characters I realize some fundamentals are overlapping between them and Annalise and Eve, and this might end up being an "in this essay I will" cause whew...

Ava, like Annalise, has had a hard upbringing. Has dealt with heart break and possibly some levels of neglect and has issues with abandonment. She has fought her whole life to become the person she is and to have the things and life that she has. She is so very guarded and protective of her heart and her peace. She will be standoffish sometimes, but is fiercely caring for those she holds dear and is protective to a fault of her kids and her school though she often times does not outwardly show it. Even to the point of flat-out denying she cares when she actually does and having a closed-off attitude about it that no one (or almost no one) can touch or challenge.

In contrast, there was Eve, introduced in white oftentimes as an almost angelic presence to the devil surrounding and inside Annalise that only she could calm, we have Barbara Howard. Literally a saint among them to the outside, she's God fearing and also highly regarded for her guidance and ability to calm situations and more poignantly to my point she is seen to be, by us and others around them as the only one who can get through to Ava and lead her to action and/or another point of view. But also like Eve, who wasn't always good or perfect as she seemed and had a side to her no one often saw there's Barbara, who has insecurities about the way she's seen to the world through the eyes of her church family. Who has a side that likes to drink and dance and be "of the world" to the behest of her "sisters in christ" and to herself once she's :back on land". Those insecurites were something she opened up to Ava about and Ava reaffirmed her. Her judgements of others and herself was something only Ava was able to hold the mirror to her and let her see herself and at the same time others and how she could and should change her worldview.

They for each other have held the mirror up and said you see me, I see you and it has me on the brink of loving them as a ship just as much as I love me some Annalise and Eve in canon I realize. Though Barbara and Ava is a fandom space ship its still very much giving me all these feels and I can't be mad at that.

Help lol

[shaloved30]

in friendship and love today for my birthday..thank you all!

[shaloved30]

One thing about me ..if I love a character, they are gonna get the love , care, up and downs, angst and lovin' they deserves from all the ships. Canon, Fandom, Rarepair and all

[shaloved30]

The way my brain is not letting this conversation for Ava happen is making me wanna punch air lol