okay so I need to talk about this right now becuase it makes me feel better. I know it’s a delusion but it doesn’t make it any less real. as I was typing this, I realized this sound like one, so I need to clarify this isn’t inetded to be story or “creepy pasta” but you can think of it that way if you want. I don’t see the harm in findign entertainment in soemone’s delusions as along as your remember to take the delusional someone seriously too and not as your Circus Freak to goad on and leave to rot when they need help. I Know she isn’t real but I can’t help but Beleive she is. pretending like she isnT there isn’t going to help. I tried. so.
there was some shadowy fucker in the corner of my room again. you don’t understand she was so scary she made me so anxious I wanted to cry. I know I called her a shadow man earlier but I think I read wronf earlier I’m quite certain she is female
she doesn’t want to hurt me at least I don’t think she does but her simple presence in my room makes me nervous and scared and sad. I can’t talk to her, verbally, when she’s around, my mouth won’t let me, but she already knows what I want to tell her somehow they way I know she dpesn’t want to hurt me even though she shadsn’ said anything. I think it’s like. part of her natural “power” or something. “Tel apathy” isn’t quite it because it doesn’t feel like I’m receiving a message, but simply knowing her intention by her intention. I look in her direction and think about her and I know becuase she lets me know.
she’s…nice I guess. I looked away and I don’t quite see her anymore, but I know she’s in the corner of my room and in the corners of my eyes, too, maybe. but I know she’s here in this room. her presence is unnerving, but liek I said,mthat seems to be a natural byproduct of her existence than anything she wants to do. she isn’t particularly interested in getting anythign from me, except company, I guess she just wnats to stay here? in this room with me? for some reason. and it’s a little scary and zI feel liek crying about but it’ okay.
hahaha, just when I thought I finally got over my fear if real people unreal people show up in my life and spook me all over again! hahaha! butnit’s okay. she doesn’t want to hurt me and although she creeps me out a bit shensin’t hurting me so that’ all that matters. he only downsides is that 1) I know I don’t have a lot of people to talk about her with becuase of her inepherent nature if being unrela and I’m scared of them judging me or thinking I need to be Fixed. and 2) her Presence, the one that makes me anxious, the one that brings me to verge of tears like cutting onions, make s it a lot harder to get things done its a little distracting but I don’t mind it she didn’t do anything wrong she just wants to chill in the corner of my room. I imagine a lot of people woudln’ like that so I’m glad to let her do it. I’m just worried my family will be upset I’m taking longer to do things, but I know I cna’t tell them why I don’t want their judgment right now. she doesn’t judge me. may be we cna be friends. I’m not sure how that would wprk but I could try once I’m done cleaning this room. I’m a bit baffled she’d choose to stay in a room so messy. I guess she does really doesn’t judge! :)
so I tried drawing her. here is my drawing of her of course that’s not what exactly she “looks like” becuase she is Shadow Shadow Shadow so no one could ever really capture her like that but I tried to draw mroe what she “feels like”. I hope she likes it ^_^
