MARIE & TYSON 4EVER - AN ENGAGEMENT DINNER Marie is vegetarian and likes “healthy food and chocolate” while Tyson specifically asked for “diner food but NOT beef bourguignon.” Though, they both named FRIES as a major interest.
-Twice fried french fries fried in peanut oil I made one bowl of salt&pepper fries and another of ‘COOTER RUB’ which is an incredible name, #1 and actually the reason I originally bought it because I wanted to see that every time I opened my cabinet. I found it at a flea market in Florida next to the crocodile jerky so I knew it was a good thing. I was right. Like a creole old bay mixed with straight up sugar.
-The fast food Cheeseburger I am proud of this cheeseburger. I have been working on it for a while and I feel like it’s really hit its fat, fat, fat stride. It’s all the things you love about a shit little diner burger, a fat fuckin’ fast food burger, and your home grill burger. Worchestire, yellow mustard, caper juice. Grilled. Topped with a slice of rubbery nasty wonderful Velveeta. Martin Rolls (I lightly grill these too). Mandolin sliced red onions. Shrettuce. And a burger sauce that’s a ketchup/mayo/mustard/caper situation. And I mean a lot of that - it keeps everybody in their special, important place.
-The VEGGIE fast food Cheeseburger Weirdly not so bad and actually kind of good. I’ve never made a veggie burger so, I read like 5 recipes and made a Frankenstein because I am impatient and can’t follow directions. I toasted pecans. Grilled yellow onion. Black beans. Then I put them in the food processor to make a paste. Then I made a red quinoa/oatmeal mix, added the paste and an egg. Then I seasoned it like I did for my little fast food burger so, Marie wouldn’t feel left out. All dressed up like it’s superior beefy pal.
-Fennel Grapefruit Salad This thing needed some work. I like the idea of it, but I was super disappointed the way it turned out. I took a general idea from Alison’s Roman Dining In but from the time I read the recipe to the time I assembled....this, I clearly had some ‘ideas.’ Underneath everything was an herbed yogurt but I bought the wrong fucking kind so it was like a soupy disaster. Then the fennel should have been mandolin thin but, I didn’t do that. The acid all needed more fat to cut it and I needed the pistachios I forgot to buy. This doesn’t deserve a recipe share - until next time.
- THE CAKE Elke made this from Dining In and unlike me, excels at READING, patience, following directions, and follow through. It was the best fucking cake I’ve ever had in my entire life and I think ever will. I ate it so fast I thought I was going to die or at least have to lay down on the floor and ask everyone to leave. BYE!