Shae's Cafe

Delicious Delusions 

[shaescafe]

One of my favorite ways to have a dinner party (”party” refers to the same two people I exclusively hang out with and one of them is my girlfriend) is to commit unflinchingly to a THEME with zero idea of how it will come together and no patience to refer to a recipe. The best first step of this ‘approach’ is to go to the Farmers Market and buy everything that vaguely could achieve the thoughtfully chosen theme. 

I usually start to excite-panic when I see garlic scapes and snap peas because this means that there are going to be a lot of micro greens that I have no place for but desperately want to incorporate. 

After I hit up the market, I go to a really expensive specialty store, again, with a very loose plan and a real desire to recklessly shop. At this point, I’ve decided on 5-6 different ‘small plates’ that I want to make. One those included shrimp and chorizo the other, fried green tomatoes. 

Now that, I’ve got every thing I could possible use, I usually take serving plates and attach sticky notes to each one with different ideas of the dish. Then suddenly I realize, I’ve bought far too many things (shocker).  In this episode, I decided to make a ton of things all at the same time because I had taken too long at the market  + store and everyone (2 people) were supposed to come over in a couple hours. Here’s what I decided to make: 

Tomatillo Salsa + Guacamole with Radishes + snap peas + chips  Fried Green Tomatoes + Chimichurri + Heirloom Tomatoes + Ricotta Salata  Shrimp + Chili Sauce + Lemon + Chorizo    Peach + Cucumber + lime + aleppo pepper Mahi Mahi tacos with chipotle crema + Kholrabi + pickled red onion + fresno  Elotes

Shortly after sticky note exercise I decided to use the mandolin which despite after many close calls, I continue to not use the protector tool you’re supposed to use. This was my time and it was a bad time (feat. my diva cup): 

I live right above from a pharmacy so, I went down with a dish towel covered in blood, hand covered in blood, and gaff tape on my two fingers:  ‘hi i just need some bandaids’ (blood seeping out of tape). He told me I had to go to urgent care.  Nothing makes you feel like a fucking lonely loser more than having to go to urgent care to help you put on bandaids.  Despite having a meltdown about how I couldn’t finish everything (I cried), I put a sock around my finger and did it. I couldn’t stand the idea of eating shrimp by myself - I don’t even like it that much.   Luckily no one seemed to worry about how much skin (skin slaw) or blood might have touched everything they ate. 

 These we’re my favorite. 

This was the best thing #2. 

The look of concern for food safety ^ 

[shaescafe]

[shaescafe]

Homemade candy 

[shaescafe]

MARIE & TYSON 4EVER - AN ENGAGEMENT DINNER   Marie is vegetarian and likes “healthy food and chocolate” while Tyson specifically asked for “diner food but NOT beef bourguignon.” Though, they both named FRIES as a major interest.

-Twice fried french fries fried in peanut oil   I made one bowl of salt&pepper fries and another of ‘COOTER RUB’ which is an incredible name, #1 and actually the reason I originally bought it because I wanted to see that every time I opened my cabinet. I found it at a flea market in Florida next to the crocodile jerky so I knew it was a good thing. I was right. Like a creole old bay mixed with straight up sugar. 

-The fast food Cheeseburger I am proud of this cheeseburger. I have been working on it for a while and I feel like it’s really hit its fat, fat, fat stride.  It’s all the things you love about a shit little diner burger, a fat fuckin’ fast food burger, and your home grill burger. Worchestire, yellow mustard, caper juice. Grilled. Topped with a slice of rubbery nasty wonderful Velveeta. Martin Rolls (I lightly grill these too). Mandolin sliced red onions. Shrettuce. And a burger sauce that’s a ketchup/mayo/mustard/caper situation. And I mean a lot of that - it keeps everybody in their special, important place. 

-The VEGGIE fast food Cheeseburger  Weirdly not so bad and actually kind of good. I’ve never made a veggie burger so, I read like 5 recipes and made a Frankenstein because I am impatient and can’t follow directions. I toasted pecans. Grilled yellow onion. Black beans. Then I put them in the food processor to make a paste. Then I made a red quinoa/oatmeal mix, added the paste and an egg. Then I seasoned it like I did for my little fast food burger so, Marie wouldn’t feel left out. All dressed up like it’s superior beefy pal. 

-Fennel Grapefruit Salad  This thing needed some work. I like the idea of it, but I was super disappointed the way it turned out. I took a general idea from Alison’s Roman Dining In but from the time I read the recipe to the time I assembled....this, I clearly had some ‘ideas.’ Underneath everything was an herbed yogurt but I bought the wrong fucking kind so it was like a soupy disaster. Then the fennel should have been mandolin thin but, I didn’t do that. The acid all needed more fat to cut it  and I needed the pistachios I forgot to buy.  This doesn’t deserve a recipe share - until next time. 

- THE CAKE  Elke made this from Dining In and unlike me, excels at READING, patience, following directions, and follow through. It was the best fucking cake I’ve ever had in my entire life and I think ever will. I ate it so fast I thought I was going to die or at least have to lay down on the floor and ask everyone to leave.   BYE! 

[shaescafe]

MISSOURI STATE FAIR - A Dinner Party

Our grandma used to take us to the Missouri state fair - I kind of remember the greased pig contest (because it was traumatizing and my sister was supposed to take me with her but instead left me behind, crying because I couldn’t run fast enough in my red cowboy boots - she failed to catch the pig and got grease down her shirt and got in trouble later. Satisfied) but I mostly remember the food. Really, the best part was eating (when is this not the case?) -  pineapple soft serve, kettle corn, corn dogs, hot dogs, chili dogs, fried things, and funnel cakes. 

I don’t own a fry daddy (it’s a mistake that needs to be remedied) so, this is what we came up with: 

Cocktail: 

Super simple Limeade cocktail with a bit of pomegranate molasses to mimic the best Cherry-Limeades at the fair. Edible flowers for garnish because, pretty. 

First Course: 

Rosemary & pink peppercorn Kettle-corn 

Jalapeño & cheddar mini corn dogs 

Candied pecans 

Second Course:

Broadway Butcher Hot Dogs 

Broccoli Salad with chimichurri 

Vinegar & onion slaw with dill 

Three-cheese corn bake with Ritz crackers

Heirloom tomatoes with herbs 

Watermelon with mint, lime & sea salt

Dessert Course:

Rhubarb ice box pie 

Grandma would have been proud (though, she’d wonder what the hell was on the tomatoes). 

[shaescafe]

SCRATCH & DENT: UGLY TOMATOES

I really love feeling like I’m getting a deal -- and nothing feels more like a deal than buying all the sad (and lonely, like me) looking tomatoes and making a bunch of salsa, tomato sauce, soup, etc. out of them.   One time, I bought like a thousand of them and made quarts on quarts of tomato sauce which then became 20 mini lasagnas. Mid way through I realized I wasn’t committed and had made a huge mistake - but, the tiny lasagnas that still live in my fridge make it all worth it. 

I like to buy all different types of the dented tomatoes (equal opportunity, LGBTQ friendly) - yellow ones help make things more bright and fresh - the green ones are sour, darker red = deeper flavor, etc. That way your sauce isn’t the one note, chef Boyardee - It’s special.

You take the tomatoes and cut out all the bad parts. 

Then, I put them all in a big bowl and add olive oil, fresh garlic gloves, basil, rosemary, oregano, salt, pepper, lemon zest and fennel seeds. 

Then you roast it in the oven - but, you choose the temperature - wherever it lands. I usually do 300 until they look like this.  

Then I toss them into the food processor & then they become sauce.  

[shaescafe]

NOSTALGIA: A dinner party

I have this friend named Dustin. We’ve been friends since I was 15 and he was 23. My sister is marrying him.  Shae’s Cafe celebrates with a themed dinner party - the theme is “all the stuff we liked together.”  

As a 15 year old, I taught Dustin how to drink alcohol. Teaching at 15 meant flavored vodka - training wheels.   12 years later, we like the same shit. 

Cocktail: Blueberry Stoli with house-made Lemonade.  

Making your own lemonade is super easy. And making balanced cocktails is super easy too. Sour:Sweet  

Get 10-15 ish lemons. Cut them in half. Juice them. You can just use a simple hand juicer. Once you’re done, you should strain it out to remove pulp + seeds (in the case that you did a shitty job). You should make a quart - that’s 32 ounces. This will stay good for up to three days. 

To make simple syrup, you need white sugar and water.  Put 50 grams ( or 16 ounces ) into a quart container (or wherever). You don’t really need to boil water but, it does make the sugar dissolve faster. I usually have no patience and just put lukewarm water in and end up stirring for fucking ever. You choose.   Once you’ve prepped your materials (!), you can make your lemonade. I usually will make them per drink (as opposed to batching). But, regardless, this is how it goes : 

1 ounce sour  1 ounce sugar  2 ounce liquor  top with water  So, that really applies across the board - whether you’re making limeaide or lemonade ... whiskey sour / mojito / or in this case, you’re a basic B and it’s a stoli lemonade.    Top it with a lemon wheel, because it’s all about being festive. 

First Course: 

Hummus with charred Pita 

Fried Chickpeas 

Pigs in a blanket with chipotle aioli, honey mustard, ketchup

Deviled Eggs 

Herbed Feta dip with Radishes 

Second Course:

BLTs 

Tomato, basil, avocado 

House-made potato chips 

Cheesey corn 

Dessert: 

House-made Ice cream cookie: chocolate chip cookie with cookies & creme ice cream 

[shaescafe]

SHAE’S CAFE: THE BEGINNINGS

Executive Chef de Cuisine, Shae first discovered her love of cooking in 1997 when she began microwaving eggs coining the phrase “Upside Down Eggs.” Since then, Shae’s Cafe has become a national success with kitchens in Brooklyn, LA, and Kansas City.

Catering to a very exclusive crowd, Shae’s Cafe focuses on fare inspired by her upbringing in the Midwest, mediocre chain restaurants, Martha’s ideas, and her affinity for Themes. With little-to-no professional experience or formal training, Shae’s Cafe embraces a Composé approach, where a lack of knowledge (or ability) is replaced by delusional confidence and creativity.