#shakaaloha

[shakaaloha-blog]

dear diary,

i've learned alot throughout my past relationships. I taught myself to be strong and fight for what I believe in. In the past I got cheated on, I got hurt everytime, I got blamed for everything. I cried my eyes out all the time, hated myself for the way I was. I always searched for that "perfect relationship", I tried to perfect everything, I thought giving the guy everything will make my relationship the one I've been wanting. But I was wrong. It took me from intermediate to my junior year in high school to finally realize that. It took me 5 years to finally realize what a "perfect relationship" is. A perfect relationship to me is when you will constantly fight for that one person no matter what they put you through. You will fight a lot, you will piss each other off, you will get irritated, you guys will go through EVERYTHING with each other. You guys will support each other through everything, you will love each other for being yourself. I finally met someone who put me through so much shit, the person who made me cry the most, the person who showed me it feels like to be loved. His name is Josh Zuniga Bondoc. lol im that bored and I just miss my boyfriend too much. 

[shakaaloha-blog]

Dear Diary,

So i think he got in trouble and got his phone taken away. I haven't talked to him since we dropped him off at home. We went from seeing each for three days straight and waking up to each other and now I don't know when is the next time I will be able to see him. Being on the computer is helping me stay happy and not sad. Tonight will be the first night I won't be able to hear his voice. I want to cry so badly but I am trying my best to stay strong. The worst part is that today we make 16 months. It kinda sucks. Well hopefully he will call tonight. 

[shakaaloha-blog]

Dear Diary,

So i decided that i will confess today. i confess that i was desperate for boyfriend that every boy i talked to i tried to get them to like me. I would say about half of the boys i dated i actually liked and not just desperate. but along the line i learned many things. Mostly every relationship i've been in ended was because they cheated on me or because they didn't want to be with me no more. I must say it hurt but it made me stronger. I just didn't go out with any guy i talked too, i made sure i really knew this guy. well i thought i knew these boys enough but i thought wrong. I always rushed into a relationship, i never did take the time to actually talk to the boy. That's why i always ended up getting hurt. I did so many things that i wish i could take back. I wish i still was a virgin, i wish i didn't do it with the boys i did it with. I wish i could've just waited. To be honest i think i ruined one of the boys relationship but i didn't know that he was with her. I thought they were broken up but i guess not. I feel bad for that, i feel disgusted in myself for the things i did. But that was the past and i am leaving it behind me. Right now i am really happy with my life. I have thee most amazing boyfriend ever. i love him more than anything in the world. We have the realtionship i've been wanting my whole life. I never want to let him go, i now know what it is like to be loved back. Looking back at my past with my ex's i am so happy that i have this boy that i have now. He is nothing compared to anyone. i will never find anybody better because he is the best. i can never picture myself without him. i love Josh Zuniga Bondoc to infinity and beyond (: 

[shakaaloha-blog]

Dear Diary,

YAY ! josh comes back tomorrow and im so excited. i can't wait to see him, i missed him so much. like you don't even know how much i missed you. this is like the first weekend we didn't see each other, like probably today i would be with him if he was here. i can't wait, i know im not going to be able to sleep tonight. i wish i could go see him but i can't because im doing something in the morning and i don't know when i will be back home. i really miss being in his arms and his kisses. i cuddling with him and then start making trouble to him right after. ugh i can't wait ! can we like fast forward time so i can see him. fucking shit, i love him more than anything in the world.

[shakaaloha-blog]

Dear Diary,

I never thought that i would ever find a guy like josh. i mean he's what i've been looking for. we have the relationship i've always wanted. the first time i met him i thought we would only be best friends but look at what happened, im happy it happened the it did. for the first time ever i met my boyfriends family and to be honest it feels like their my family too. Josh may not be the most good looking guy but i dont care. I dont go for looks, i go for personaility. And that's what makes him the most gorgeous guy ever. I never want to lose this guy, he truly is different than the rest, someone i've been wanting, and the guy i wish to spend the rest of my life with. Even though we've been only going out for almost 2 months, i fell really hard and i know i won't regret it.

[shakaaloha-blog]

Dear Diary,

IM BACK (: well not for good though, only when i get to use the computer for homework. So far i love my life right now. School is going really good and I've found someone that i've been waiting for my whole life. yeah i know im still young but yet he's different than the other guys i've dated. He loves me for me, he doesn't only want sex from me, and he stays faithful. He makes me feel like the happiest person on this earth. Im so happy, even though we fight like mostly every night, at the end everything is okay like nothing ever happened. I'll be back soon. Love yah (:

[shakaaloha-blog]

Dear Diary,

i really do miss having a boyfriend. I see couples everywhere i go and it makes me jealous. I see them having together while I'm standing here by myself wishing i had that. One day i will meet someone and i wouldn't have to be jealous, other will be because we have something that don't have.

[shakaaloha-blog]

Dear Diary,

i am so bored. there is like nothing to do at this moment except you know go on the computer.  i have no one to text no more. my phone is like dead these days. i need to find my a new texting buddy, someone that i will keep texting for a while and not text for like a few days then done. i need like a long time texting buddy, oh wells. i will look for one, right now. well actually after i type this out. I also feel like talking to someone on the phone tonight. i don't know why i do but i want to. i miss talking to someone on the all night long. i miss that feeling you know. well okay i am done now. DEUCES (: