#shamesgiving

[shameshits]

Happy Thanksgiving from Shameshits! Who knew you could do so much with a toilet paper roll?

[shameshits]

A Shamesgiving Story

My first Thanksgiving with the family of my soon to be husband. The house was completely full of guests and the toilets had been working overtime. No one told me that. Gorgeous formal dinner with copious toasting and rich, dreamy food. My body was a running machine in those days and I was consuming mostly healthy food leading up to this moment.

After what seemed like an eternity, I managed to turn off the water at the source and was left standing in a 2 inch lake of shit. As I stood in stunned horror there was a frantic knocking at the door. It was my mother-in-law warning me not to flush. "Too late" I managed to whisper. She scurried off and I was left sobbing in mortification. In a flash, she brought back a stack of old towels, bleach and a bucket and I got to work.

Finally, after 30 minutes of hysterical cleaning, crying and laughing, I managed to sanitize myself and the bathroom. However, to my horror as I walked down the stairs and looked into the library, I saw a bucket brigade and a frantic swarm of people up on step ladders holding towels up to a soaking, dripping roof. Yep, my shit was raining on my future family. I ran out of the house and refuse to play in the croquet tournament the next day. The marriage didn't last.

Originally posted on Gawker