#shanalysis

[ilyapasta]

So I think the way you know you suck at hockey (at the professional level, I know no one in the NHL actually sucks) is if you’re playing poorly and Shane Hollander is still nice to you. “You you did good out there, man. No sweat.” He’s mean to the players who have potential (“What the FUCK were you thinking Haas?”), or the really good players fucking up on bad nights. He doesn’t even talk to his husband out at Monks after Rozanov missed his pass on the power play (“I set it up perfectly for you, Ilya, if you’d just admit it then maybe I could help you fix it for next time—“) but he’s asking you about the kids and where you go for Christmas. You’re never getting off the fourth line bud. Actually, Hollander just bought you a beer, which means you’ll be back in the minors next week.

[ilyapasta]

Another addition to the Shane Hollander list of "do it scared, but DO IT" badassery is him standing in front of his parents less than 48 hours after Ilya and him have exchanged declarations of love and being like:

Yuna: "But you hate him"

Shane: "No, I get that, but no. I love him."

LIKEEE the way he just SAYS it. There are other things he could have said. "We're together" or "We're involved" but he goes for absolute clarity. I love him. (It's not up for discussion) Can we just sit down, please?

[ilyapasta]

Scary Shane Hollander in between shifts on the Centaurs bench just staring into space thumping thumping thumping his stick on the ground to the beat of whatever industrial EDM track is going in his head because the team isn't playing well they aren't doing their job thump thump thump he can't be on every fucking shift he can't do it all for them thump thump thump "shane open your mouth and drink some fucking water" open mouth Ilya squirts water in swallow thump thump thump Haas misses another pass because Dillon ain't getting any better and should be sent down to Belleville to cook and pull up their winger who's showing some promise thump thump thump hockey is a team sport they gotta lock in they gotta put pucks in nets thump thump thump Shane has three cups and he wants four they need four the most important thing is getting another cup but at this rate they won't even make playoffs thump thump thump why is the centaur mascot a beaver thump thump thump

[ilyapasta]

Don’t think too hard about loverboy Shane Hollander. Don’t think about him, full of relief and anticipation when Ilya walks calmly to him in the cottage and kisses the talk of wells right out of his mouth. Don’t think about him smiling and staring adoringly at Ilya beneath him on the couch, relaxing with him. Don’t think about him being determined to take his time, to not rush and fall into old habits. Don’t think about him settling in and stroking Ilya’s face, avoiding putting pressure on Ilya’s bruised ribs. Don’t think about him phrasing his idea to be honest with each other as this spontaneous revelation, rather than something he’s been thinking about and wanting. Because that’s it right? Yes he loves Ilya for who he is, but he also wants to know more, he wants it to be real. He doesn’t want a performance. He doesn’t want Ilya to just do what he thinks Shane wants. He wants to fall in love, and yes, they already are to a point, but Shane wants to do it right now, properly, in this space between the hectic hours they’ve spent together. He wants to relax with him. For once. Don’t think about it!!!

[ilyapasta]

Shane’s fame is so important to me—his specific breakout fame to people who don’t even know hockey. The endorsements in the show have a somewhat janky look because the show itself isn’t high budget (they fake it pretty well but after a million reheats I’m like oh they don’t even show the video game on the tv when they’re playing at the cottage lmao) but like imagine Hudson’s sleek Peloton Ad with Shane instead, but instead of the artsy stuff they have Hudson do, it’s just Shane Hollander, man that is a machine, pushing his body to the limit. Imagine the Nike ads and the cologne ads on the side of a snowy cliff. He’s gorgeous, model gorgeous, and not all premiere athletes have those looks. And Shane will be what you want him to be. If you need him to be the hometown hero sitting at a fast food table pretending to eat a Tim Horton’s breakfast sandwich, he’ll do it. If you need to zoom in on his compelling freckles and driven gaze to sell athleisure clothing, he’ll let you. Shane wants legacy and notoriety. He wants to control the conversation surrounding him. He wants there to be mystery, like there is with all exceptional people. But in all his commercials, he’s notably alone. He’s a myth.

I think about Simone Biles dropping out of the Olympics due to struggles with performance, and the mythology created around elite performance athletes like Ilia Malinin, who had a very public fumble at the Olympics despite all the hype. This created a ton of dialogue. Where they had once been something to marvel at, now they are something to scrutinize. Scrutinized by people who know nothing about their sport, even!

Shane doesn’t disappoint though. He brings Montreal three cups. If you don’t know hockey, you know Shane Hollander. Just like you know Tom Brady, Serena Williams, LeBron James. Michelle Kwan, and Simone Biles. You’ve probably rooted for these people alongside diehard fans even when you yourself know nothing about the sport. That’s who Shane Hollander is. He can belong to everyone. He is everyone’s athlete.

And then he’s outed. And then he trips. Suddenly, this man who up until then has lived life mostly unscrutinized (besides the microaggressions of the insular hockey world), who had been unquestionably A Badass, someone to admire, someone to put on a pedestal, he’s suddenly human. He’s someone who passionately kisses his rival in the side yard of his best friend and teammate’s house. He’s someone who carried on a secret affair that has rocked the foundations of the sports world. And because he kissed his rival, because he has revealed himself to be human, he is now brought to the same level of scrutiny as anyone else. It is open season for opinions about Shane Hollander.

Not every opinion would bad. Many would be good. Many would love him for it. But the fact that people feel entitled to make the opinion means that the fabric of Shane’s fame has changed. He’s now up for interpretation. You don’t just sit back and marvel at him, you now have other things to say that cloud the myth. And that changes what he is allowed to do, even as an athlete.

He’s no longer allowed to trip on a piece of ice or a bad edge. He isn’t given grace. Because if his secrets hold so much meaning, that also means that his outward actions now also hold meaning. When something so intimate about you is revealed, the stony facade of excellence crumbles. Now everyone has a take. Everyone has an opinion. You are now a public conversation, instead of pleasant inevitability. How can the team count on him, once he reveals his humanity? How can they depend on him, now that he’s a conversation, instead of a lecture?

[ilyapasta]

I talk a big game about Shane's earnestness but he's also literally sly. Mr. "I'm happy to score any goal and to play pour Les Metros, Merci" and "I'm pretty aligned with the fans because I want to win some cups" and "I'll see what he has to say when he catches up to me" and "I wasn't the only Asian kid, there was one other" and "Swear jar, two times" and "I was alright" and "I kind of prefer being the hole" okay we see you creating mystique we see you crafting the narrative we see you making yourself lovable and also unknowable by the media and the literal people in your life but also the person he can't help but be earnest with is Ilya.

Like with Ilya Shane is Mr. "I don't know, maybe twice" and "Are you okay? I saw you up here" and "I don't know that side of you at all" and "I keep a lot of things private" and "Team meeting in the morning I forgot" and "Nice shirt, you're pulling it off" and "You feel it too, right?" because when Ilya looks at Shane, Shane feels like Ilya is seeing his internal organs, like everything is laid out for the taking and in some ways Shane is like just take it Rozanov just grab it stop looking at me and seeing through me and fucking fuck me instead but Ilya keeps looking and looking, crucially only looking away when Shane finally says NO YOU FUCKER I see you too, I see the way you turn things around and distract and deny because I literally barely tell myself the truth, let alone the world.

They're more the same than they are different. They see through each other because of those similarities. Alone at the top, except they've never been alone at the top.

[ilyapasta]

“What’s your uh, favorite city to play in?”

Shane. Look at me. Shut. Up. You’re too adorable. Too earnest. Too jocky. Too interested in learning about Ilya. Too good at subtle chirps about Buffalo. Too proud to be Canadian and a lover of her cities. Too liable to talk about weather when mentioning favorite cities. He likes the hot ones too. No, weather hot.

Shane. Stop! They’ll kill you Shane!

[ilyapasta]

I love nuanced discussions of Yuna and David and the various ways they could have fucked up Shane but I also love the softer side of them as parents who did their best for their only child. Shane is a good son. He has lunch with them. He talks up their accomplishments. He snaps at them and then tries to make it right. And they love him! They worry about him. They don’t want him to be alone forever. Maybe meeting a Swedish princess could be fun? Maybe we could make a whole week out of it, like when you were a kid? Sure it’s tone deaf and bumbling, but they’re trying. If they’re normal parents they must be thinking: Maybe we pushed him too hard. Maybe we should have prioritized a normal life for him. Did we do enough? Did we talk to him enough and check on him enough? Why isn’t he talking to us now?

I love thinking of them looking at their brilliant but lonely son, maybe a few months after the cottage when Ilya comes to visit Ottawa once before the season begins, and they stay at the Hollanders for a night, and now that they’re out to them and settled more with each other, they see how Ilya makes Shane laugh, how he supports him, and how Shane cares for Ilya in return, how he looks for Ilya around corners. They are witnessing their only child be loved unconditionally and thinking “thank god he found this. Thank god he won’t be alone.”