#shara talks

[sharas-bae]

i've been known to describe taskmaster as somewhat veiled, highly specific fetish content (complimentary) and i'll do it again. this is not a complaint, it just pings as being For Someone (intentionally or not) with some regularity.

the series 11 finale "weigh alex's head and feet" task is uh. something else.

[kino-rogers]

I watched what., Make Happy and Inside back to back last night and I’m not sure what to do with myself right now.

[shar-and-beans-collect-dice]

Hey guys, Shara here!

Apologies for the… slight hiatus not sure what happened there!

Anyway, filling up the queue now and will be back to posting twice a day for the foreseeable thanks to the lovely autoqueue system! Hope you guys enjoy the return of the supply of the forbidden cronch!

~Shara

[sharas-bae]

okokok i'm watching the gay hockey show and like. yall.

i feel like i'm reliving my late high school-early college days of hunting down gay movies and queer as folk in 10-minute clips on youtube. i was so unprepared for this feeling.

something about this show feels so specific to a certain era (late nineties-aughts stuff with a gay mostly white male target demographic, lbr) in terms of plot and explicitness in a way i was totally unprepared for. (i know it's based on a book that was a serial file-off of a fic but the screen translation is still very familiar totally separate from fic tropes.)

i feel like this is an unexpected example of how, with all the mainstream representation-ing of queer people in mass media, a lot of it has been desexualized/sanitized/Good Rep-ized. don't get me wrong, there's a lot of good shit in there! and it's great that there's more variety in what stories get told. and yet.

this feels different from a lot of what we've had in recent years, except not in a new/groundbreaking way. like, we've been here before. it's unexpectedly comforting and also a very strange sensation.

[sharas-bae]

idk if it's just that i've had a rough week and badly needed a laugh or if everyone's response to the tasks was truly exceptionally funny but this week's episode felt like it was on another level

also that final task had me in tears. so stupid, so perfect.

[sharas-bae]

in 2018 i saw this tweet and, knowing my brother and his (then-new) wife were planning to have kids, knew right away that this was the future i wanted for myself.

today i actually did it. i'm so deeply tickled. carmen maria machado is an icon for more important work but she is my personal hero for this.

[sharas-bae]

work continues to bum me the fuck out but i'm getting ready to go to a shibari 101 class at the neighborhood sex shop so at least my day is looking up

[sharas-bae]

cw pet death below the cut

well. my cat went downhill faster than i'd hoped or expected after i brought him home last night. i was able to get a last-minute appointment for an in-home euthanasia this afternoon.

this morning i did take him back to the er in a last-ditch effort to buy him a little more time, but looking back i wish i hadn't and just kept him home. it made everything more stressful for him near the end, without much symptom relief to make up for it. but we did make it back home and he drank a bunch of water, and i called his 'other mom' (my bff and former roommate who adopted him with me) so she could say goodbye.

by the time the vet arrived he was calm and hydrated and resting. she was amazing, gently walked me through everything and gave us as much time as we needed.

thank god my parents happened to be nearby this week, having them around has been really helpful. and it's helping me transition a little to having an empty apartment.

i'm trying to focus on the almost-decade of love and not the last 24 hours/2 weeks of stress. i'm trying not to feel guilty for the final few hours of his life, and chalk it up to a learning experience. and be exceedingly grateful that he got to be home in his favorite chair with me at the end.