bi, fly, and ready to cry

mostly escapist coping mechanisms, except when not | thirties | also on bluesky @sharas-bae but only for backup purposes

[haarute]

me: i can't do anything... i don't know what my life is anymore...

the jacob wysocki tulpa manifesting inside my brain:

[fucking-relax]

Hip Stretches 🦛

generally, hold 30 to 60 seconds

🦒 stuck standing?

spread legs a comfortable distance apart and clasp hands behind back, then slowly bend forward (arms are free to move with shoulders going forward; our focus is on hips)

similar leg spread but hands pressed together in front, then squat down as far as comfortable

🌉 free to use floor?

from belly, place hands under shoulders then slowly push your torso up while keeping hips planted on ground; adjust as needed to feel stretch in hips and remember to not strain the spine/neck

from back with knees bent, engage your butt muscles to assist lifting hips up until there is a "ramp" from knees to shoulders (held bridge pose helps stretch muscles while repeating bridge pose helps build muscles. probably)

from back with knees to chest, clasp hands around the middle of one thigh and let legs fall back til arms are comfortably straight, then bring the other leg up to fold so ankle crosses over held thigh (makes a 4-like shape, where top of number is hips and pointed leg is the side of the hip you'll feel The Stretch in). repeat for other side!

🦋 butterfly seating?

tis ideal on floor where feet are pressed together and brought close to hips, but from a chair you can spread legs as far as comfortable and do the same straight-back bend forward

[azatas]

my dad's wildlife photography would do numbers on here

[azatas]

ok permission granted everyone look at this fat sandpiper

[parkchanwoohoo]

Once you start noticing how the incapacity to handle discomfort affects how people live their lives it's actually pretty shocking how it ruins pretty much every conceivable aspect of existence. Interpersonal relationships, romantic and platonic. Career and education opportunities. Your politics Your willingness to go anywhere. The kind of food you eat. The kind of art you expose yourself to and your ability to read it. It's never just one thing, it touches everything, and once you notice it it's like suddenly being able to see germs or something. Just this horrific catastrophe people look at you askance for screaming about. As I grow older and see what became of my friends and peers who could not learn to handle discomfort, the more I'm like. This is a genuine societal issue

[werewolf-beans]

Increasing my discomfort tolerance has also been one of the greatest assets to improving my mental health.

[movementnudge]

Movement nudge!

X

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

[sixappleseeds]

[ID: an underexposed photo taken on a winter’s night, showing a pair of glowing eyes that resolve themselves, as you look closer, into a horse’s face, staring at you from behind a snowbank. Its ears are back and its head is up. Bare crooked branches cover the cloudy sky above. There is a sign nearby, in whimsical hand painted letters, that says, “CAUTION HORSES MAY BITE.” /end ID]

[dddreamscape]

Mutuals do this

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

You've heard of parallel play, now get ready for perpendicular play.

[shegs]

I FOUMDH IT

[princess-anri]

Regular Couple

[pawhold-deactivated20180415]

this ended homophobia

[nikoni]

happy pride month

[pathos-logical]

[ID: The original “I see no difference” meme. Each of the four squares features an anime couple with an Impact font caption. First is a boy and a girl cuddling captioned “Regular couple.” Second is two boys kissing, captioned “Yaoi couple.” Third is two girls looking into each other’s eyes captioned “Yuri couple.” Finally, Edward Elric from FMA gives a thumbs-up anf grins with the top and bottom text: “I see no difference / Love is love.” End ID]

[life-gives-you-lemons]

I think people need to understand that everyone has to unlearn misogynistic behaviors and thinking patterns. Cis women and trans women and cis men and trans men and anyone who doesn’t fall under those categories are all completely capable of being misogynistic and actively hurtful to women. Trans men are included in this, obviously, but when you only call for trans men to unlearn this mindset, you are no longer being progressive and fair. You are singling out a minority.

[chekhovs-raygun]

it pisses me off to see cis women saying 'trans women are misogynistic because they were raised as men' and trans women replying 'no we aren't because no we weren't!' and i'm sitting there staring at the camera like it's the office. because like women are ALL raised to be just as misogynistic as men. it's a notable goddamn feature of the patriarchy.

like if you are marginalized it is in your own self-interest to interrogate and deconstruct the cultural narratives that position you as subnormal. this is what starts a lot of queer people on wanting to reform the world into something more compassionate and egalitarian.

but it's not the marginalization that makes you any more or less ethical than anyone else. it's the work. you gotta do the actual work.

[hareofhrair]

I feel like part of the problem is a really popular misunderstanding of bigotry.

Misogyny is not just prejudice experienced by a woman. It is not simply something that happens TO a woman. It has nothing to do with the woman. It’s about the misogynist.

Bigotry is not determined or defined by the target of that bigotry. The bigotry is stored in the bigot.

Misogynists will be misogynistic towards any person they associate with femininity, including cisgender men.

When a misogynist cis man tears another man down for liking something he thinks is girly, he is still being misogynistic.

A cis male coach telling his cis male student he runs like a girl is being misogynistic.

A cis woman punishing her son for wanting a “girl” toy or policing her boyfriend’s hygiene habits and interests for anything she considers emasculating, is being misogynistic!

When a woman gets in a car accident and is injured more severely because the safety testing on that car was only done using crash test dummies and models based on men, she’s experiencing misogyny.

When the medication she takes for her injuries doesn’t work right or has unexpected side effects because it was only tested on men, she’s experiencing misogyny.

When the tools she uses at work that are the wrong shape for her hands, and the jumpsuit that’s part of her uniform which she has to take off completely to use the bathroom, and all the spaces she moves through and everything within them are designed with the assumption that an average male body is the only body that matters— she is experiencing misogyny.

Misogyny is the belief that women are inherently inferior, and the systems and institutions built around that belief. It can be experienced by anyone, and anyone is capable of having misogynistic beliefs and doing misogynistic things.

Bigotry is not about the target. It’s about the bigot, and what the bigot believes, and the way those bigoted beliefs have shaped our world.

I don’t care what race gender or sexuality you are, you were raised with racist, sexist, homophobic beliefs. Because it’s literally impossible not to be.

And the harder you try to cling to the idea that misogyny is something that happens TO women, rather than something coming FROM misogynists, the more blind you’ll be to your own misogynistic beliefs, and all the ways everything in our society is a product of or directly reinforces those beliefs.

[anarchistmemedistro]

[anarchistmemedistro]

[lovesicklobotomy]

[metal-autistic-coven]

Happy pride month to him

[genderkoolaid]

saw a woman talking about how betrayed she felt by her female gyno who really hurt her during a pap smear & claimed the cervix has no nerve endings. & i really do feel for her but also I think this is the problem with people only viewing medical bigotry and abuse as a problem that is the byproduct of other forms of bigotry & not tied to how the medical establishment works inherently.

it's not just "that doctor has internalized misogyny" it's that western medicine is, as in so many parts of our culture, deeply authoritarian. the patient is meant to be a passive problem to be solved by the active doctor. there is meant to be a stark harsh line between you and the doctor, where you are pure of any medical knowledge and simply report the raw data & let the doctor interpret it. this is how the system works. it fucks over marginalized groups the most because that's how marginalization works, but even a thin white abled cis man could get fucked over by this shit if he's unlucky.

female doctors will not save us! trans doctors will not save us! doctors of color will not save us! these are all GOOD things and we DO need more representation in the medical field, it DOES help. but it will not save us. the same goes with teaching as well frankly. these issues cannot be reduced down to simply getting more people from columns B C and D into the same fucked system. nothing can make up for the societal change of heart we really need.

[mackerelgray]

#I'm biased because i work primarily with residents #but i really do think changing the culture of residency is the key to changing so many problems in medicine #if you're expected to work to the point and past exhaustion you're going to expect your patients to tough it out #if you're expected to treat your attending as an unquestionable authority then you're going to expect your patients to treat you that way #diversity is not going to fix the issue that doctors have to endure legitimate trauma to get their license #and are also discouraged from getting therapy for that trauma for fear of losing that license which absolutely happens #the fact that therapy is discouraged and can risk your job rather than MANDATORY for physicians is so backwards #i know what viewing all those pathology images did to me i can't even imagine what that does to someone working in clinical care #i think the way doctors behave make more sense if you realize that every single one of them has unprocessed trauma

(Tags from mixedmeter-wav)

[draggomon]

Long rant incoming

I've worked medical for over a decade (10 years as OR Attendant, 4 years as Anesthesia Supply Tech, 3 years BHA)

I agree fully with the above post that so much of what makes medical terrible is the fact that patients are seen problems to be solved and that if your problem isn't easily solved it's because YOU, THE PATIENT, have fucked up in some way.

The constant assumption that if you can't be "cured" it's because you're actually just lying and it's not really that bad.

The constant assumption that if you aren't cis, het, and white then the medical workers have to be on egg shells around you or risk a lawsuit.

The constant attempts to just speak at the patient and expect that patient to believe, understand, and go along with everything you say.

This all comes down to a fundemental interpretation of the medical team being at odds with the patient.

Good medical care, the medical care we should be expecting and moving towards, is always going to be collaborative. A patient is a PART of the care team, always.

I've had patients tell me things that they never would have told the Dr. just because I sat with them for a bit and let them be very vulnerable about their thoughts and ideas.

I've had small break throughs with some of my psych patients where they literally just told me "I think it might be X based on what I read online." and we discussed why they think this and what exploring this possability would look like for them. "Yes, I can see where you're coming from. Let's explore that together and create a care plan and see what happens. Worst case scenario, we get some data to use together."

I have a lot more to say, especially on the topic of "fixing" people but that is an even longer rant and goes into ethics, a bunch of different isms, and the entire system as a whole viewing certain bodies as correct over other ones.

[vrhunska]

Eleanor, this place is just sand! It cannot love you back!!

[mndvx]

“he kinda just came out Julien” aww happy pride

[burninglights]

fucking insane to be a person of colour in the uk right now

[burninglights]

When my family first moved to the UK, we faced a similar risk to our wellbeing & safety as many are facing now, albeit for different reasons. in light of everything happening in Ireland & the tensions increasing in Glasgow, and the perennial England, here’s a list of actionable things to do for people who may be targeted & anti racist allies.

MY HOME IS ON THE LIST/LIKELY TO BE TARGETED, WHAT CAN I DO?

* it may bring you peace of mind to have a go-bag ready, just in case. A go-bag is a bag with everything in it that you need to get out a volatile situation quickly. Any bag that can be secured (buttoned or zipped) will do. In your go-bag, you should include;

- identifying documents; passport/driver’s license/asylum card/ILR certificate/British Residency permit card

- Wallet and/or banking books

- A spare charger & cable and/or a power bank

- any shelf-stable medication (tablets, inhalers etc.) if you are on medication that needs to be refrigerated, leave it in the fridge until you have to leave

- Sanitary items; toothbrush, toothpaste, sanitary pads & tampons, deodorant. If you have very young children with you, you may also want to take your nappy bag.

* If you have to leave, a go-bag is a convenient way to ensure you have everything of importance with you.

* If you are being supported by an asylum seekers or refugee charity, or are a member of a gurdwara/temple, mosque, synagogue or church, reach out to your religious leaders. They may be able to provide direct support, or put you in contact with organisations or other congregants who can help. If you are friendly with your neighbours, it may be worth contacting them too.

* IN THE EVENT THAT “PROTESTORS” DO COME TO YOUR HOUSE, CALL 999 IMMEDIATELY, AND FOLLOW ANY INSTRUCTIONS THEY GIVE YOU. MOVE AWAY FROM ANY WINDOWS. DO NOT OPEN YOUR DOOR UNLESS INSTRUCTED TO DO SO BY EMERGENCY SERVICES.

I’M AN INTERNATIONAL STUDENT/CARE WORKER/NHS WORKER, WHAT SHOULD I DO?

* Contact your student welfare office/NHS Trust/agency for advice, support and referral to organisations that may be able to provide assistance

* if you live in or commute through an area that is likely to be targeted, contact your lecturers and your faculty to find out whether remote study is possible; if you work in care or as part of the NHS, find out if it is possible to change shifts.

* If it would provide peace of mind, prepare a go-bag as listed above

* Reach out to your the uni society or student’s organisation for international students or students of specific ethnic origin; they may be able to provide you with direction to resources and peer support. If your university has a Marxist or Socialist society, reach out to them for mutual aid with a travel buddy etc., for getting to and from your place of study/work

* If you are a member of a gurdwara/temple, mosque, synagogue or church, reach out to your religious leaders. They may be able to provide direct support, or put you in contact with organisations or other congregants who can help.

* If you are friendly with your neighbours, it may be worth contacting them too for assistance with travel to & from work.

* Report any racism or racialised violence you are subjected to. NHS staff have a right to refuse to treat patients who harass, abuse, threaten or insult them; if a patient is racist to you, where possible, ask another member of staff to take over their care.

PERSONAL SAFETY:

* do not leave your home unless strictly necessary. If it is necessary to leave, don’t do it alone.

* use NextDoor, WhatsApp, social media and word of mouth to avoid commuting through “protestor” road blocks, areas of active conflict etc.,

* When travelling, use Share My Location or Life360, and keep at least two people aware of your expected time of arrival at your destination with instructions to contact the police if you do not let them know you’ve made it safely

* do not directly confront any individuals involved, or allow them to bait you into becoming confrontational

* only record if it is safe. Do not record individuals directly/from up close

* Do not directly intervene. If you see violence occurring, contact emergency services and if safe to do so, record what’s happening.

ALLYSHIP & HOW TO HELP:

* if you have neighbours, friends, coworkers or acquaintances form targeted communities, reach out to them. Ask them what you can do to help them feel safe.

* If you live in an area likely to be targeted, reach out to any vulnerable people you know. If safe and possible, offer to let them shelter with you in the event they need to leave home

* If you see any incitement to violence online screenshot it; it may prove useful in the event of individual “protesters” being prosecuted

* If you see any specific areas being discussed as targets, alert anyone you know at risk in the area

* Reach out to local refugee & asylum seekers’ organisations, to organisations supporting foreign national care & healthcare workers, and to churches, mosques, gurdwaras; they may be looking for short term assistance in helping to provide for vulnerable members of their community

CHARITABLE ORGANISATIONS FOR ASSISTANCE & TO SUPPORT:

* NASC Ireland; refugee & asylum seeker charity

* Doras.org; migrant, stateless persons, refugee and asylum seeker rights advocates

* Jesuit Refugee Service; religious refugee & asylum seekers charity

* Irish Refugee Council; supporting stateless displaced persons & refugees in NI & ROI

* International Student’s House (IE & UK WIDE): provides hardship funding and help to international students

* PathFinder (UK WIDE); supports international students

* Care International (GLOBAL); global carer’s charity

* Choose Love (IE & UK WIDE); charitable organisation supporting refugees and asylum seekers

* Praxis UK (UK WIDE); supporting refugees & asylum seekers

* The Runnymede Trust (IE & UK WIDE); antiracism education charity

* Migrant’s Rights Network (IE & UK WIDE); advocacy and support for migrants and refugees

* ShareTheMeal (GLOBAL); providing meals for refugees and those fleeing conflict globally

* Amnesty (IRELAND, UK & WORLDWIDE); human rights NGO

* UNHCR & UN Refugee Council (GLOBAL); UN refugee bodies supporting those seeking asylum, fleeing conflict & internally/internationally displaced worldwide

[transmortifried]

idk why people are still trying to do "hear me out"s on tumblr

you could talk about wanting to fuck the space needle on here and people would still call you a poser for insisting on fucking "conventionally attractive architecture" as if that's a coherent, easily-recognizable category

[charlesoberonn]

I want to fuck Antoni Gaudi's unbuilt Hotel Attraction skyscraper design

[anatomizer]

"hear me out" and it's a picture of the most fuckable building you've ever seen. c'mon now.

[thepersonalmossblog]

“hear me out” and it’s the fucking dildopolis

[byjove]

I can’t remember if I told you guys this but my grandpa paid a guy to put up a rock retaining wall in the backyard when my grandparents moved into their house in 1966. They live at the bottom of a mountain. The wall finally collapsed this year and my grandfather with dementia was PISSED OFFFFFF and he wanted so badly to call the guy who did it and chew him out for doing a bad job. My grandma is trying to explain that the wall lasted 60 years and the guy who did the work is probably dead and it TURNS OUT HE IS STILL ALIVE. Now we’re worried grandpa is going to get through to him (small town) and we’re going to see two 85 year old men come to blows over a rock wall that has been there since the mid-60s. My grandpa is a scrapper, he’s been to jail over a bar fight, the possibility that he WOULD fight this guy is high.

To top it off? The stone mason is the only person in town with one arm so grandpa would definitely recognize him if he saw him. If that is your grandpa, please protect him from my grandpa.

[byjove]

Then again, if it was given a lifetime guarantee and both parties are still alive, grandpa might have ground to stand on.

[natalieironside]

Shout out to trans women who aren’t computer scientists or musicians or avant-garde artists or whatever.

Shout-out to tgirls who work at Taco Bell. Thank u queen, society would collapse without you

[snkrfnd]

Over twenty years ago my big brother got me a job at a Taco Bell in the St. Louis suburbs-West County. He warned me that it was the “gay Taco Bell”, but since I was coming from the “gay Howard Johnson’s” I wasn’t shocked. It turns out it was the black trans women Taco Bell complete with black trans women in management. And they’d worked out an arrangement with the local teen Narcotics Anonymous group so that twice a week we would shut down the drive thru and the dining room and exclusively serve 60+ teens in various stages of recovery. And many of the women I worked with were in various stages of being out or transitioning and they were from all generations from teens to over 50. One woman I worked with had a regular corporate job presenting as a man 9-5 Mon-Fri and then came to Taco Bell and worked 6pm -2am Friday and Saturday night so she could be herself surrounded by other black transwomen in those stolen weekends. And we had customers come from all over the metro area because they knew they could be themselves in the dining room. I only worked there from 1999-2001 but for young me, this was a vital, formative experience. Some of the girls came from north city all the way out to the “gay Taco Bell” on Manchester in west county because they heard it was safe to work there. Like- I know times have changed but they haven’t changed much in 20 years. I’m still convinced that for lgbt youth, finding a job at your city’s version of the “gay Taco Bell” is key to survival.

[natalieironside]

Thank u for sharing this with us