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Nov 25, 2016

Make It Clear

Wash stood in front of Felix’s house in the early Autumn air for almost ten minutes before Felix’s mom invited him into the house. He was embarrassed to say the least, but he walked inside regardless. Wash didn’t want to come in the first place, it was his older sister that made him. He was all for roughing out the first day of school on his own, he didn’t want to bother Felix.

Though the issue with that is the relationship they’ve had for almost a year. Granted they’ve always had Locus and Dante there with them as well, but they graduated last year leaving Wash and Felix on their own for the last year of high school. The month before school started, Dante and Locus packed up what they needed and moved almost half way across the country to go to college.

What most people don’t understand about Felix is the way he loves people. His love Locus is the sweetest, yet sickest love there is. He shows his love for Dante through frustration and anger, but at the end of the day they always know they love each other. But Wash doesn’t know if Felix loves him at all. Wash has always assumed that Felix kept him around because the other two loved him. He has never shown love for Wash since they started dating, but Wash loves him nonetheless.

“So why are ya here so early?” Felix’s mom asks while she pulls food out of the fridge to cook breakfast.

“I-it’s the first day of school and I wanted to see if Felix would like to go together.” He rubs his arm thinking about how terrible his plan sounds out loud.

“That’s really sweet of you. Why don’t you go wake him up?”

Without saying anything, Wash walk out of the kitchen and upstairs towards Felix’s room.

“Felix? Uh- your mom said I could come wake you up. I know you probably don’t care, but it’s the first day of school. And it’s the first time in what? 6 years? That you’ve gone without Locus, and I thought you might want to go together.” Wash said after knocking on the door. Without receiving an answer, Wash walks in.

Felix is sitting on his bed completely dressed staring at his back pack. Wash starts to stumble out an apology, but he is quickly waved off so he just sits down silently next to his boyfriend. If it were Locus or Dante, he would rest his head on their shoulder and ask them what they were thinking, yet the tension between the two is telling Wash that wouldn’t be a good idea.

They sit in silence until both phones go off at the same time. Felix leaves his where it is and Wash pulls his out, thankful for the distraction. It was a snapchat notification from Dante. He didn’t hesitate to open the app to see a video along with text under it that read “watch with Felix” with a heart emoji following it. He moves to show Felix the message only to find he is already looking at the phone screen.

Wash opens the video which is of Dante jumping on Locus’ bed with Locus yelling in the background. The bar of text says ‘I love you’ in all caps and the same heart emoji next to it.

“I hope you guys have a great day at school, text Lo or I whenever!” Dante yells, slightly out of breath.

“Stop jumping on the damn bed! I’m not-” The video cuts off there and Wash can’t help but smile. He taps the reply button and holds the phone up to take a picture. Felix is in the background staring at Wash with a look he doesn’t know how to describe. He types out ‘will do, love you guys too’ before hitting send.

“Why did your phone go off?”

Without saying anything, Felix opens his phone as Wash looks over his shoulder. He doesn’t bother to hide his password from Wash, about three months ago he felt bad about being a day off for Wash’s birthday, so he changed his password to it to ensure he would not forget it again.

It’s also a snapchat from Dante.

“Fuck you.”

“Be nice.” Locus says from behind him while putting on a shirt.

“It’s Felix.”

“Never mind then.”

“Fuck you,” he said again.

Felix smiles at the message and sends back a picture that says ‘not without you’ with the winking emoji. Wash rolls his eyes, but laughs anyway.

“Did Locus send you anything?” Felix asks.

“No.”

“Oh, maybe he will later, he isn’t much of a morning person.”

They go back to sitting in a brief silence, but Wash breaks it. As annoying as Felix can be, he’d prefer him talking rather than being silent. He theorizes that he could listen to Felix talk all day, just as he could watch Locus read all day or Dante paint all day. Talking is just his thing.

“So are you good with going to school together? I’d rather know sooner rather than later.” He rubs his arm again out of nervousness.

“Yeah, you’re fine.” Wash sighs in relief, he was worried Felix might ditch him for his group of friends which would leave Wash in a tough spot. All of his friends graduated last year, he knows barely anyone in his class.

“Kids! Breakfast is ready!” Felix’s mom calls from downstairs. Wash stands up to walk out but Felix stops him.

“Unless you want to be tackled down the stairs, I would wait a second.”

They walk downstairs a few minutes later and into the kitchen with everyone else.

“No wonder he wasn’t here on time, he was with his boyfriend.” His youngest sister mocks the pair as they walk in.

“That isn’t his boyfriend, he is dating Locus.”

“That isn’t his boyfriend, he is dating Dante.” His other two sister say at the same time.

“Wash is my boyfriend, and so is Dante and Lo.” Felix rolls his eyes, ignoring his sister's’ argument over who was right and who was wrong.

He reaches up to the cabinet and grabs both himself and Wash a plate. Wash wonders why Felix is suddenly being nice to him, normally he gets the cold shoulder from him. They both fill their plates with food and sit down at the table to eat.

Breakfast is never eventful at Felix’s home. Everyone is quiet because they are more occupied planning out their day to talk to one another. Dinner is when they talk over each other so loudly it’s hard to hear yourself think.

“Here,” Felix hands Wash his car keys when they finish eating. “You go start the car while I go get out bags from my room.”

“Are you really dating my brother?” Alana, Felix’s youngest sister, asks as he just about to open the door.

“Yes, I am. Is that okay with you?”

“Do you love him?”

“With all my heart.” Wash replies honestly.

“Okay, that’s all I needed to know.” She skips off back to the kitchen.

He shakes his head smiling as he walks outside to start the car. He has to stop himself from sitting in the backseat of the black, beat-up jeep. That’s where Dante and him sat everyday on the way to school. On the way home Felix would trade with Wash so he could sit next to Dante. He is once again thinking about how odd it is to not have the other two there.

“Okay, sorry that took so long, my sisters literally gave me hell as I walked out the door.” He put the two back packs in the backseat and starts to pull out of the driveway.

“I always thought this was Lo’s car. I mean, he was always the one driving. He was always reluctant to let you drive.” Wash laughs.

“Nah, he just doesn’t trust my driving. It has to be better than yours though, considering you still don’t have a license.”

“You know why I don’t have my license, asshole.” Wash rolls his eyes.

“Just because you’re not good with cars and you have three boyfriends to drive you around isn’t an excuse.” Felix laughs.

Wash doesn’t bother to reply, instead he looks out the window. He thinks about how different school is going to be without Locus and Dante. He always knew the people that didn’t like him stepped back because of his boyfriends, but would they still do that with just Felix around? Sure Felix could fight, but he couldn’t take on some of the guys that dislike Wash. Felix’s anger was always put into threats, he never did much else while in the school.

“I’ll see you later in the day, yeah?” Felix leans in and kisses Wash’s cheek before grabbing his bag and leaving the car.

Wash didn’t even notice they were at the school until the door closed. He grabbed his bag, still dazed at Felix’s action, and then leaves the car as well.

He pulls out his phone to text Dante. He looks up every few seconds to avoid running into anyone.

we just got to school and Felix has been nice all morning ?? He even kissed me before getting out of the car ? What did you tell him

He locks his phone and focuses on finding his locker. He looks around at all the people meeting up with their friends. He knows they all saw each other over the summer but regardless, everyone is excited to see their friends again. He gets to his locker and doesn’t recognize anyone that’s around it. His locker has always been away from Felix’s and last year it was in a separate hallway from Dante and Locus’. He resorted to carrying all of his books almost all day just so they wouldn’t have to stop at his locker considering it was out of the way of everyone’s class.

Looking at the schedule taped to the inside of his locker, Wash has never been happier to be at the top of his class. He had most of his credits by the end of his junior year, the only core classes he needed to take was English and History, all other classes are electives or off periods.

His fourth period was AP English 4 and the fifth was AP European History. Felix always thought it was funny he’d rather learn about a different country, but Wash didn’t care, according to Dante who took the class last year, it was really easy despite being an AP course.

His other classes would be just as easy. He had first period off, second period was a peer coach class where he would go to a freshman class and help students. Third period was lunch, it was the earliest lunch class meaning there wouldn’t be many people in it and Wash didn’t know if he should be happy about that or not. Sixth was his library assistant period, and seventh was an art class, and eighth was an off period as well.

He spent first period wandering around the school. There wasn’t anything he was meant to do, technically he could have stayed home and just came before second period started. He found himself sitting in the fine arts hallway, listening to the band and the choir, the songs didn’t go together at all, but there wasn’t any silence.

He checks his phone, finding he had three text messages: two from Dante and one from Felix.

i didn’t tell him anything, no promises that Lo didn’t

If he starts acting up, I’ll talk to him

There is a winking face following it. Wash replies ‘sure will’ quickly before opening Felix’s message.

I was thinking of skipping the rest of the day, you in

please don’t Wash types back.

the shit I do for you man, fine I’ll stay. What lunch do you have?

There wasn’t a reply, but the bell was about to ring, so Wash walked towards the class he would be helping with for the first semester. It was an algebra class which meant this would be easier than he originally thought. Algebra was the easiest math class he took.

“You must be David? Right?” The teacher asks when he walked into the room during passing period. She was a young teacher, it’s possible it’s her first year at the school and that’s why she was assigned a peer coach.

“Yeah, but everyone calls me Wash.”

“Alright. When I’m done introducing myself you can introduce yourself. We aren’t doing anything today so I will probably just let them play on their phones.”

Wash nodded and sat down in the back of the room where there was a table. He wasn’t sure if it was for him, but that’s where he was going to sit until told to move.

“Aren’t you a little old to be in algebra?” One kid sat down in the desk in front of him.

“I’m a peer coach. I’m just here to help,” Wash said.

“Oh.” The student turns back around.

The bell rings and Wash zones out until the teacher is done talking and introduces him. He stands up, says his name, and sits back down. He can hear the students talking amongst themselves for the rest of class. The only conversation that catches his interest is from a student to his right talking about him.

“My sister is in his grade and said he has three boyfriends. I wonder if it’s true.”

“Why don’t you ask him?”

“Oh my god, no way.”

Wash can’t help but laugh to himself as he tells the whole conversation to Dante over snapchat. He isn’t bothered by people knowing, there is only one group of students in the school that care. They are the only people Wash is worried about this year. He doesn’t think they will do anything, but it is possible they will say something and Wash has never been good at taking insults. There are times he will lash out and he will hit someone and there are other times he will just escape to the nearest bathroom and battle off any anxiety that came with the statement. It all depends on what is said.

When the bell rang he made his way towards his locker. He wasn’t in a rush, he was never worried about waiting in the lunch line, he could eat his whole meal in five minutes if he had to.

He opened his locker and grabbed his backpack, he would need it for his next to classes. Just as he closed the locker, two hands covered his eyes. Wash yelped in surprise and accidentally slammed the locker closed.

“Psh, chill out Washington.” Felix laughed behind him.

“God, you scared me. Where were you? I didn’t even hear you walk over.” He said. “And since when have you called me Washington?”

“That’s a secret, and since I just did. But enough with the small talk, come with me.”

“Not until you tell me where we are going.”

“I’m taking my boyfriend out for a nice lunch before we go and battle Mrs. Wade in English. Is that going to be a problem?”

“Not until you don’t order a milkshake like always.”

And Just as Wash said, Felix complained as they sat in small fast food restaurant because he wanted a milkshake but didn’t order one.

“You do this every time. Literally every time we go out to eat. Why don’t you just go order one now?”

“It’s too late now, we already ordered.” Felix groaned and put his head in his hands.

“You’re such a child,” Wash smiled. “We can share mine.” He pushes his vanilla milkshake over to Felix who takes it with no complaints.

“Thanks babe, I owe you.”

“Yeah, okay.”

They return to the school five minutes late to their English class. The halls are quiet as Wash drags Felix towards their class. He suggested skipping again, but Wash once again declined.

“And why would you two be late?”

“ ‘Cause they were making out.” A kid in the center of the room whispers causing the class to laugh. Wash turns red and puts his head down.

“Getting more action than you ever will.” Felix retorted.

“I’m sorry Mrs. Wade, we went out to eat lunch and the line was longer than expected. It won’t happen again.” Wash apologizes for the both of them.

“Just take your seats.”

Wash sits in the back corner where he can hear and see everything going on in the class. Felix sits down next to him and makes a point to move his desk closer to Wash’s. He smiles over at Felix but soon buries himself in his notebook and phone. They weren’t doing anything in class- most teachers wait until the second day to bombard the class with information.

He gets a text from Locus halfway into the class. Felix looks over to see what it was and then occupies himself with his own phone.

how’s school?

It’s fine, Felix has been oddly nice all day

It’s just all day he has been talking to me and is being super nice and is actually treating me like his boyfriend instead of the guy who dares his other boyfriends idk it’s just weird to see him actually care about me

“What does Lo have to say?”

“Nothing interesting.”

“Dante just texted you.” Felix points to his phone. Wash nods and unlocks the phone. He makes sure Felix isn’t watching the screen before he reads the texts in case it pertains to their earlier conversation.

is Felix still acting “weird” ?

Yeah, I just got done telling Locus about how it feels weird that he is suddenly acting like my boyfriend

He has always acted like your boyfriend

No he hasn’t, he has always liked you guys more than me. I feel like he never really acknowledged me. There are times (most of the time) where I doubt he even loves me, it’s not like he says it that often anyway

You know how Felix is

I have to go, the bell just rang

Wash puts his phone down and puts all of his stuff into his bag.

“What do you have next?” Felix stands from his own desk.

“European history. What about you?”

“Math. Do you want me to walk you to class?”

“No, it’s far from your class; I don’t want you to be late. But I do want the car keys, I have eighth off and would rather sit in the car than sit in the school.” Wash said. Felix tossed him the keys before Wash walked out the door.

The rest of Wash’s day is uneventful. The only class he did anything in was a small sculpture in art class. The teacher said to start a project that reflected your art style, Wash took a slab of clay and just molded it. It doesn’t look like anything yet, but it will at a later date.

Felix gets in the car quietly once school lets out. He doesn’t say anything but he grabs Wash’s hand before driving out of the parking lot. Music from his phone plays through the ride, but he unplugs it when Felix stops in front of his house.

“Thanks, I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“See you tomorrow.” Wash leans in to kiss Felix and is surprised when he kisses back. He says thank you one more time before he closes the door and walks to his front door.

“How was school?”

“It was school. I’m going to go to my room.” He doesn’t look up from his phone while he answers his mom. He scrolls through his contacts until it lands on Dante’s name.

“Hello?”

“Hey,” He said.

“Hey! How was school?”

“It was good, nothing exciting. Felix was really quiet on the ride home, kinda unlike him, ya know?”

“Maybe he had a long day?”

“Maybe.”

“Hey, Locus wants to talk to you.” Dante said quickly.

“What? Who said that?” Locus said as he pressed the phone against his ear. “Oh, hey Wash.”

“Hey, how is college going?”

“It’s fine, only going to class for a few hours a day is great. How was your first day? Did anyone give you trouble?”

“No, I think this year will be pretty easy.”

“Good,” He said flatly.

“I’m going to go, I think I’m going to take a nap.”

“Okay, love you.”

“Love you too, tell Dante I love him.”

“Will do, bye.”

“Later.”

Wash hangs up the phone and plugs it into the charger. This is normally where he would do his homework, but he would take this opportunity to get a head start on sleep before school starts to take its toll. Which it might not for him, but he will be up all night helping Felix study if he has to- which he knows he will have to.

Regardless of the reason, Wash falls asleep fully dressed on top of covers.

He wakes up to his phone vibrating on his bedside table. Wash has always been a light sleeper, so the soft vibration sounded like a war as it woke him up. He didn’t check the caller ID before answering because he was more worried about answering before it went to voicemail.

“Hello?”

“Hey, I’m uh- I’m at your house. Would it be okay if I came in?” He heard Felix through the phone. He sounded tired and upset, but Wash didn’t question it.

“Yeah, of course! I’m in my room if you just want to walk in. My mom should be at work by now so don’t worry about that. The door is locked but there is a key under the mat.”

“Okay.”

He hangs up and Wash heard the front door open and close softly. He can hear Felix’s footsteps pause outside of his door. It reminds Wash of earlier that morning when he was outside of Felix’s bedroom debating whether he should go in or not.

He walks towards the door, yawning as he runs his hand through his tousled hair. He opens it and Felix looks up at him like his world is in pieces.

Felix rushes into Wash’s chest and hugs him tightly. Wash stumbles back but hugs back when he gains his balance. He wraps his arms around Felix’s waist tightly and kisses the top of his head lightly.

“Care to tell me what’s wrong?” Wash whispers into Felix’s hair.

“I love you.”

“Um okay? I love you too.”

“No, I love you.”

“What is this about?” Wash pulls away from their hug. He sits on his bed and gestures for Felix to do the same. Wash sits in the corner of the headboard and the wall against pillows, Felix sits on his lap and stays as close to Wash as he can.

“Dante and Locus sent me pictures of their conversation with you from today. And then today when I got home, Alana told me that you love me with your entire heart. I made a joke about it being only a third of your heart because of- that doesn’t matter, you get it.” He explained.

“And I felt like shit about it, but I tried ignoring it because I’m not one to act on feelings, ya know? But then Locus called me and asked if I talked to you yet and I said no because I hadn’t. He asked how I was felt and I told him. He said that if that’s how I felt to imagine how you feel. And then I hung up and went for a walk. I wasn’t really looking for anywhere to go but I ended up in front of your house, so I took it as an opportunity to talk to you.”

“Talk to me about what?”

“About why I love you. I thought it was more obvious that I did, I thought you knew. I love the way you give me your milkshakes when we go out to eat. I love how you rub your arm when you’re nervous. I love how you listen to generic pop music, I love the way you will scream out the lyrics when we are driving down the highway. I love that your hair looks like it’s dyed but it’s not. I love the way you refuse to wear your glasses even when you definitely should be wearing them- hell, I love the way you look with glasses even if you don’t.”

“Okay, that’s enough.” Wash laughs. “I know you could go on all day.”

“The only thing I don’t love about you is the way you won’t talk to me. You’re always so anxious around me. You act like you are scared of me, but I know you aren’t.” He said.

“Listen, Locus and Dante aren’t here- they won’t be for the entire year. Sure they can drop in at the holidays and we can talk to them everyday, but it isn’t the same as them being here in person. But you and I have each other in person. You are all I have right now and I’m all you have. It isn’t going to last that way if you don’t trust me enough to talk to me.”

“What Are you talking about? I trust you.”

“No you don’t! And I don’t want to lose you, so I need you to!”

“Hey, hey, calm down. It’s okay, we can work on things if we have to. There isn’t anything wrong with that, I would rather us work on it than just push it aside.”

“I love you.”

“And I love you too.”

Felix sniffles and Wash feels terrible for being the reason Felix is about to cry. He pulls up a blanket over the both of them.

“I love you,” Felix mumbles.

“I know you do, I love you too.”

#lolix #washlix #sharklix #sharkington #locingtom #murder sandwich #sorry idk the ship name for all four #fic

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