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[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

All Souls

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Mary Earle, whom I followed as a student of Celtic poetry and writing penned this in observance of All Saints Day:

“…(The) Celtic peoples perceive that eternity and this world are woven together. Just as the famous Celtic knots demonstrate, heavenly life and earthly life are linked and form a unified whole. A family dinner is an occasion for welcoming the saints; a family tragedy is occasion for imploring their intercession, presence, and support as members of the extended family of Christ.

Following the proclamation of the author of the letter to the Hebrews (“Since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses”, Heb. 12:1) the Welsh poet Waldo Williams observed that we are “keeping house in a cloud of witnesses.” The rounds of daily life are lived out with this company. As we go through our regular chores and work, the saints are with us. These saints, alive in the eternal life of the Risen Christ, are not ghosts. Nor are they merely the product of our imaginations. The communion of saints is the astoundingly diverse and rich family of the Christ “in whom all things hold together.” (Colossians 1:17)

The Celtic saints are perceived to be anamchairde or “soul friends.” In the Celtic tradition, it is understood that a soul friend is a spiritual necessity. Every person needs someone with whom to be completely undefended, to be vulnerable and honest. A soul friend is the person whose presence allows us to be real and transparent, to seek continual transformation and growth in faith, hope and love. In the presence of your anamchara (singular form of the noun) you know the safety and assurance of one who will do no harm and one who will call forth your truest self. The tradition is emphatic that this work of formation cannot be done alone. While soul friends are usually earthly friends, they may also be particular saints whose lives speak to us, challenge us, evoke in us a desire to participate in Christ’s work of making the creation new….

In the Welsh tradition, there is to this day an awareness of the presence of St. David, patron saint of that nation, with those who labor and those who farm, with those in politics and those guiding the life of the church. St. David is an anamchara for the Welsh people. St. David was known for his personal strength and intelligence, and in the sixth century he founded a monastic community renowned for learning. His example and life continue to stir the hearts and imaginations of Welsh poets, writers and bards.

The Celtic tradition is marked by a great love of “kith and kin”—and that love includes the saints. They keep house with us, work with us, walk with us, pray for us. Their company is vast and their intercession is steady.

Bright, bright the fellowship of the saints in light, Far, far beyond all earthly sight. No plague can blight, no foe destroy. United here they live in love: O then, above how deep their joy!”

(from Threshold of Light, p. 59) Copyright ©2005 Mary C. Earle and —“Keeping House Among the Clouds of Saints”

Here is an expressive similar view of this soul-full tradition:

The great Celtic Spirituality writer, Fr. John J. O’Riordain, writes of All Saints/All Souls in his book Irish Catholic Spirituality, Celtic and Roman:

“Irish hospitality extended no less to the dead than to the living. It is still with us and has always been characteristic of our religious expression. There was a widespread belief, for instance, that the dead members of the family visited their old home at the beginning of November, the ancient pagan Irish feast of Samhain from which the Christian celebrations of All Saints and All Souls seem to have derived.

Leaving the door unlocked, having a good fire in the hearth, and the placing of a bowl of water on the table was a common mode of preparing the house for a visit from the dead at Samhain. So too was the custom of lighting a candle for each deceased family member–a ritual performed during evening prayer in the home. Kevin Danaher, the folklorist, once asked an old man if he was in dreaded of entering a haunted house. ‘In dread of it?’ replied the old man. ‘What would I be in dread of, and the souls of my own dead as thick as bees around me?’….

(excerpted) [with Thanks to Sharon Moon] [via “Alive On All Channels]

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Liv Ullman and Ingmar Bergman on the Set of Hour of The Wolf, 1968

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“There’s no vocabulary for love within a family, love that’s lived in but not looked at, love within the light of which all else is seen, the love within which all other love finds speech. This love is silent.”

T.S.Eliot: The Elder Statesman—first performed in 1958—his last play: published in 1959.[Thanks so much always to Sharon Moon]

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Two Selections— 

1.

From FOUR QUARTETS T.S. Eliot (No. 3 of 'Four Quartets') 

The river is within us, the sea is all about us; The sea is the land's edge also, the granite Into which it reaches, the beaches where it tosses Its hints of earlier and other creation:

The sea has many voices.... the past has another pattern, and ceases to be a mere sequence

For most of us, there is only the unattended Moment, the moment in and out of time, The distraction fit, lost in a shaft of sunlight, The wild thyme unseen, or the winter lightning Or the waterfall, or music heard so deeply That it is not heard at all, but you are the music While the music lasts.

These are only hints and guesses, Hints followed by guesses; and the rest Is prayer, observance, discipline, thought and action. The hint half guessed, the gift half understood, is Incarnation. Here the impossible union Of spheres of existence is actual.... And right action is freedom From past and future also. For most of us, this is the aim Never here to be realised.... The life of significant soil.

And...2.

“There's no vocabulary for love within a family, love that's lived in but not looked at, love within the light of which all else is seen, the love within which all other love finds speech. This love is silent.”

The Elder Statesman—first performed in 1958—his last play: published in 1959.

[Thanks so much always to Sharon Moon]

[bodyalive]

John Gottman’s Four Horsemen of Marital Failure Watch out for these 4 bad behaviors that lead to divorce, says marriage expert— While 39% of marriages are destined for divorce in America, it doesn’t have to be that way. Not if you watch out for these four signs, according to John Gottman, Ph.D., cofounder of the Gottman Institute, a center that shares a research-based approach to relationships. Gottman, who founded the institute alongside his wife, Julie Gottman, is known as the relationship therapist who can predict whether a couple will divorce with over 90% accuracy. In his research, Gottman noticed four negative communication patterns that can predict divorce, which he calls the Four Horsemen: Criticism Contempt Defensiveness Stonewalling But not all is lost, he’s also shared ways to combat the horsemen and improve your relationship. Here are the warning signs: The problem: Criticism The first horseman, and perhaps the most common, is criticism. Whereas a complaint is about a specific issue, criticism is an attack on your partner’s character. Finding yourself critical of your partner isn’t the end of the world, but if it becomes pervasive, it could lead to other trouble within the relationship. “It makes the victim feel assaulted, rejected, and hurt, and often causes the perpetrator and victim to fall into an escalating pattern where the first horseman reappears with greater and greater frequency and intensity, which eventually leads to contempt,” Ellie Lisitsa, a doctoral student in clinical psychology at Seattle Pacific University and former staff writer for the Gottman Institute, writes in a blog post on the topic. The antidote: Complain without blame Instead of launching into attack mode, experts suggest using a “gentle startup,” or the Gottman Method approach, “that makes a straightforward comment about a concern and expresses a need in a positive fashion.” This requires using “I” statements to share a need and avoiding “you” statements, which insinuate blame. The problem: Contempt The most destructive of the Four Horsemen, according to Gottman, is contempt. In his book Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, Gottman writes: “When contempt begins to overwhelm your relationship you tend to forget entirely your partner’s positive qualities, at least while you’re feeling upset. You can’t remember a single positive quality or act. This immediate decay of admiration is an important reason why contempt ought to be banned from marital interactions.” The antidote: Build fondness and admiration Gottman claims that one of the best ways to build fondness and admiration within the relationship is by looking to the past and recalling what made you fall in love with your partner in the first place. The problem: Defensiveness Criticism can often lead to defensiveness, which is another way of blaming your partner. Instead of admitting responsibility, a person decides to play the victim and tries to make the issue their partner’s fault. Defensiveness most often occurs when a person is feeling attacked or criticized by their partner. This can also include gaslighting, denial, and manipulation. The antidote: Take responsibility The antidote to defensiveness is to accept responsibility for your role in the situation, even if only for part of the conflict,” writes Lisitsa. “In healthy relationships, partners don’t get defensive when discussing an area of conflict.” Taking responsibility requires showing an interest in your partner’s feelings and acknowledging the role you played in the conflict. This enables you and your partner to talk through the issue and work as a team to resolve the problem. The problem: Stonewalling Stonewalling, which typically happens in response to contempt, is when a person withdraws from a conversation, shuts down, or stops responding to their partner altogether. This can look like “tuning out, turning away, acting busy, or engaging in obsessive or distracting behaviors,” writes Lisitsa. The antidote: Take a break Instead of shutting down mid-conversation, experts recommend deciding on a neutral signal, such as a word, phrase, or hand motion, to signify that you need a time-out. “So if you are stonewalling and feeling flooded, say that you need a break using whatever signal, word, or phrase you and your partner have decided upon. Let each other know when you’re feeling overwhelmed,” suggests Lisitsa. “Then you need to walk away and do something soothing on your own. This break should last at least 20 minutes since it will take that much time for your bodies to physiologically calm down.”

[Thanks to Sharon Moon]

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'Some Things Last...' Promotional photo I created. Here we have, from left to right, Victoria, Sydney and Sharon.

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Visit Original Link

“Dorothy” or as I like to think of it “Falling Into The Sky”.

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A sketch by Supima Design finalist Sharon

Moon from RISD.

Courtesy Photo

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