I'm an nb pan person who outwardly presents as female (I guess? Idk proper terms there's a lot to take in with this gender shenanigans) and my fiance is cis male. To most people we look like like a het couple. I struggle a lot with feeling included in the lbgtq community, which is supposed to be about freedom of self expression, but to me it just feels like i'm being excluded for not being "queer enough"
I think there’s a lot of folks who struggle with this one, I know bi and pan folks who are in a relationship that “appears heterosexual” get a lot of harassment for “not actually being gay” and it’s really sh*tty.
There isn’t a gay-o-meter, there is no bar of entry, there is no requirement other than you being who you are, and the harassment needs to stop.
You’re you, I’m proud of you, I’m happy for you, and if you’re in a loving relationship with a cis guy and others view it as you being “het” and start to exclude you... they’re not doing any favors to the LGBTQIA+ community and are only serving to push us further apart when we need to be backing each other up even more.