#shbh

[lemonellaaaat]

my game is still in fucking mississauga……

.

[squidproquoclarice]

Yeehawgust Day 31: Cliffhanger

A/N: A brief coda for “Saint Hermit and the Bounty Hunter”. October 1908

Deer Ridge, Montana

Arthur knew that this was the quiet life Sadie had once, and lost, and now probably appreciated all the more for the years and the pain that had come in between.  As he had told Sadie last year, they’d been many people in their lives.  The thing now was that this was who they’d chosen to be, rather than the people the world seemed to have forced them into by taking away everything and everyone, and leaving only a relentless, automatic purpose to give each day any sort of direction.

He’d left his shack behind easily enough.  She’d left bounty hunting behind easily enough.  They’d ridden over the border from North Elizabeth and gotten married in Catawissa, where nobody knew Arthur Bowen and Sadie Griffith-soon-to-be-Bowen, or knew who they’d been two weeks before, let alone nine years.  They’d treated themselves to a fine dinner and posh hotel for their wedding night, because given he planned to only marry once in his life, he damn well intended that to be an occasion fit to treasure.  And for her, he wanted this new start to be a sweet one.

Then Mr. and Mrs. Bowen had headed northwest, determined to look back as little as they could, to move forward rather than in endless circles.  They’d taken the summer and built this cabin up on Deer Ridge, hunted and fished and chopped firewood all to lay in stock for the winter.  Made plans for next year, and beyond, in a way that he marveled at, in a way that Arthur Morgan hadn’t and Arthur Lewis couldn’t.

That easy partnership they’d had years ago and back near Mercy seemed to continue.  The shells they’d put up of the saint hermit and the bounty hunter kept eroding, but strangely he had no fear of it.  She was here, and she’d chosen to be with him, and likewise him for her.  They had each other’s backs then, seen each other’s raw and vulnerable spots.  He could trust her with his heart and soul just the same.

One thing was about to change, though.  She was pregnant.  Hadn’t said anything yet, but something in him knew, some part of him that understood even if he couldn’t fully put his finger on the changes.  She’d wanted children, mourned the loss of the chance with Jake.  As for him, well, he’d told her about Isaac and Eliza.  They hadn’t exactly planned this, but they hadn’t exactly taken any measures against it either.  And from the smiles he’d seen from her when she was lost in thought, he knew she was happy.  So was he.

He closed his eyes sometimes and tried to fight against the fear that he would lose another child, or fail them as he would Isaac.  That there would be something that he couldn’t fight against, and he’d come home again someday to find them dead too.  Just the same as Sadie woke in the night sometimes with a gasp, clinging tightly to him, at the fear of men breaking into the cabin intent on doing violence.

But they’d get by, day by day, week by week.  The bleak worry sometimes might hang them over the edge of a cliff, the abyss of the past yawning dark and horrible below them, but he believed she would always, always hold onto him with all her might to keep him from falling.  How could he do any less for her?  That it was a happiness aware of sorrow and the fear of loss didn’t mean it wasn’t a wonderful sort of happiness all the same.  How long had it been since he’d actually felt the spark of joy and anticipation within him?  So long he couldn’t even recall directly.  But here it was all the same.  They weren’t too old or too damaged to have that for their own, and that notion never failed to make him grateful for it.

For now, he had time to come to terms with the mingled joy and grief.  Whatever feelings she was having about lost chances with Jake and lost years, he would give her that time too.  She would tell him when she was ready.  And then they’d look forward to their son or daughter together.

[lemonellaaaat]

art for artfight and a big ramble lol

artfight stuffs. I realized that I would actually be able to redraw portraits for these guys if I just... made them all on one canvas LMAO no way I would have finished all 4 of these otherwise

anyways I don’t usually do long rambles anymore BUT!! I really want to talk about some design aspects of them :)!!

Matilda desperately needs a new ref,,,,, I was never crazy about the actual art for hers plus I’ve changed her design a bit (aconite too but at least I have a fully body drawing of her) I love Matilda but she feels both easy and hard to draw (all these rambles are going t9 be me complaining they’re hard to draw except despair) like I can’t draw her and I like her design in theory but I keep making her look lopsided because of her stupid giantass wings lmao (I might start simplifying them in some drawings idk)

been struggling to draw Wren,,, but that's not new I p much always have but I do have a design I like down which is nice! and I mean I have for over a year now but I haven't drawn him much because it's hard to make him? look right??

anyways random thought but while I was playing tomadachi life I realized that I picked the same hair colour for Matilda and Wren and somehow that sparked the thought that in another universe they could've been siblings and that thought makes me actually so emotional it literally brings me to tears omg I need to write a crossover au because I've been thinking about them (+ and Aco) interacting and both their stories deal with isolation haveing each other would have made them both better people oh my god oh my god. anyways I made them siblings in tomo life

Despair I don't really have much to say about tbh. I have her design down so we'll and I love it I like to doodle it a lot in my sketchbook like she's so easy for me to draw (FUCK YOU MERIT) I didn't really NEED to redraw her for artfight, I just wanted to lol. by next year I'll probably want to redraw her red even though I like it just for the actual art to be updated

Merits story (or re2) is set in 1998 so his segment is going to be a bit of a history lesson because I keep stressing myself out with historical inaccuracies lol. He's gay and would love wearing pins so my 2026 self wants to slap the gay flag in him and call it a gay. but the toothpaste flag was only created in 2016 and the lesbian flag that inspired it (pink, and also created by a terf) in 2010! side note but I like to think merit would collect any and all pins. like he'd totally also have like a "trans rights are human rights" pin, but I didn't want to add the flag for clarity since he's cis lol.

During the holocaust, queer people were also a target and they were forced to wear badges with pink triangles to be identified. In the 70s and 80s both to spread awareness and also as a show of pride, queer people re adopted the pink triangle (side note but its also included in the labrys lesbian flag[also terfy] and was direct inspiration for the modern bisexual flag!! [pink triangle -> bi angles using that pink alongside blue and purple -> same colours for the flag! it's so cool])

[lemonellaaaat]

eating some banger cheese and crackers rn

[lemonellaaaat]

i promised a wren ref and here we are!

[lemonellaaaat]

trying to get better at rambling here please bear with me LMAO

okey. so I've had the idea for an oc (and also an entire world) bouncing around my skull for literally YEARS at this point and I got sad that I hadn't done much so!

I've decided to call the story 'Scarred Hands and Battered Hearts' because I think it sounds cool idk (also so I had something to tag it as) I don't really know WHAT I want to do with it yet because as much as I'd love to make it a webcomic or animate bits or do anything, I also know myself and my lack of motivation :'')

anyways I just really like the tagging system here even though I don't really know how to use it effectively for much but I want to use it to be able to ramble about things (like my ocs or aus) and still have it all in one place

none of this is complete/set in stone but here's what I have in my notes app rn

This is kind of an overview of the main character and names and stuff. The basic premise is superhero/supervillain world except the biggest baddest villian is actually a depressed teenager

Also a note: the only reason I even have a deadbane for him is because I started this idea before I picked a new name but after I realized what flavor of transgender I was, and it was really important to me to have a very trans character that doesn't have a new name yet. I don't think I'll ever "reveal" his deadbane or anything because. gross and also transphobia. But I wanted something to flesh out his character and be consistent

I started figuring out a timeline and this is it rn

two notes for this:

1. When I say "see" atoms I imagine it to be similar to when you can see dust in the light. It's something you can definitely see if you look for it, but it's also easily enough to look past

2. "Bird guy" is also "SUPERHERO" I just haven't the faintest idea what I want his name to be yet. He'd be the #1 hero but also just like. A middle-aged guy who genuinely wants the best for people (and struggles with the inevitable corruption with heros)

I want him to have wings,,, and have him do random bird habits like chirping y'know the like :3

My og plan for wren's design was to have him in a plage doctor's mask and thus he is bird aligned and the hero will have to fight his instincts (expecially after seeing how young Wren is)

Eventually I realized I don't fucking know how to draw a plauge doctor's mask (and I still don't) so now he has goggles and a gas mask (both if which I love drawing)

I still want to have the hero compare Wren to a baby bird at some point but I'm not sure how

Side note but Bird hero man is gay!! He's gonna be uselessly pining after a different guy and Wren is going to be a little shit and try to set them up (post bonding arc and while complaining about now understanding romance (he's aroace))

It's insane how much if their dynamic I have planned out without even having figured out one of their names 😭 I fear I'm doomed

Actually another thing. I don't fucking know how big of an explosion splitting a singular atom would cause. I don't know if that's something that's reasonable for a young child to survive.

A lot of the chemistry in this is kind of made up because it's so specific it's hard to research 😭 I may be in two chemistry classes as I type this, but they're not preparing me for this

Uhhhh not really sure if I have much more to say? I'll link his Pinterest which is kind of a mess because there's like. 4 very distinctive styles I have in mind for him and none of them blend well

One being how he'd be dressed, like by his parents. So very fem and covering. Second is how he dressed his self while out, more masc. Third is what he'd wear casually around the house, with no care about it being reveling (for hiding his scars wise I don't remember if I mentioned that) and the fourth would be his villian getup

Also his Spotify playlist (random songs that remind me of his)

I have so many animatics in mind I'm suffering so bad

oh also! The only art I've ever done for this was a ref sheet for Wren but it's bad, old, and not actuate (I hated it from the moment I finished it :/) but I've been working on a new ref for him the last little bit and I'm so excited it looks so cool

I'll try to finish it within the next week or two 🫡

Think the ramble NEEDS to be over now because it's after midnight and I have school tomorrow lol I'm so normal about all of this I think I need to be lobotomized /silly

[digitaljedi007]

Actual Conversation

Her: "The lightbulbs are over the dryer"

Me: "The rooster flies east at dawn"

Her: "What?"

Me: "Oh, I thought we were talking like spies"