so I am kinda admitting to myself that I maybe saw some shit when I was working traffic at the protests, being the only thing standing between angry drivers and the people they are explicitly telling you they want to run over (”turn into speedbumps,” direct quote) took a toll I didn’t expect. I want to shrug this off like I was trying to do up till now but like. the fact that my roommate said “you guys were brothers in arms” when I talked about how proud I was of the people I was de-escalation volunteering with and it resonated says that somehow this is gonna need time and attention