#sheeplessnights

[secretpathseditions]

I’m keeping an eye on you, so watch what you do. #sheepish #sheep #eye #watching #sheeplessnights #outwalking #wildortame (at Cornaux, Switzerland) https://www.instagram.com/p/CNqBFHCBKN-/?igshid=ntja3bmnqj6v

[lexiwhiskers]

Why can't I just marry my best friend?

It would be easy.

Since.

you know. She's a lesbian

. I JUST DON'T LIKE VAGINA'S

sigh. My life would be so much easier.

[lexiwhiskers]

Shel: Hey!

Me: Hey! Are you watching the Oscars?

Shel: Does it even matter Leo won't win anything

Me: Why would you say that

Shel: IT'S ONLY THE TRUTH

[lexiwhiskers]

Me: Like 6 people reblogged that chat. WHY

Shel: oh sorry

Shel: My friends

Me: How dare you have friends that aren't me

Me: HOW DARE YOU

Shel: Eat me

Me: I will and I will enjoy it.

Me: I'll dip you in some barbecue sauce.

Shel: I'm so delicious.

[lexiwhiskers]

Me: Hey, Shel, do you want to do the Color Run with me?

Shel: What's that

Me: It's a 5k where they literally throw paint on you.

Shel: I'm a SMOKER

Shel: I can't run five feet

Shel: Can I drive a golf cart next to you instead?

[lexiwhiskers]

Me: I'm unattractive. Sigh

Shel: What no

Shel:I find u attractive in a straight grl way

Shel:if i was a straight guy and i was like

Shel: yeah i need a straight girl

Shel: *starts roleplay*

Shel: awh shit look at that hottie over there with the blond hair

Shel: wait

Shel: wait hold the phone

Shel: forget every straight women i ever had female/male intercourse with

Shel: who is dat fuckin short hair babe

Shel: DAYUm

Me: holy crap hahaha

Shel: so i think u r gorgeous and i am gorgeous so my opinion of gorgeous is true so we are just like the best gorgeous people around and sometimes it scares people and they just dont understand what they should do

Me: I love you, bb.

[lexiwhiskers]

Shel and I being idiots.

[lexiwhiskers]

NEVERMIND IM NOT HAPPY BECAUSE SHEL WON'T SEND ME PIZZA CAUSE SHE'S A BIG POOPY BUTT AND WHEH