#shelbz

[aritaesea]

03.08.21

[aritaesea]

i'm so insecure right now, all i want to do is sleep.

[aritaesea]

...my ego was pushed aside and I realized the way I had been taught to love was fictional; true love has no bounds.

[aritaesea]

I almost posted a picture of you on insta. But I didn't.

I wondered if maybe the reason behind the desire to post was a longing for recognition. Recognition of the pain from losing you. The affirmation that I went through something terrible. A result of the addiction I have to the pain and the empathy that keeps me there.

I think it was.

[aritaesea]

I looked back on old pictures

It usually sends me into a spiral

But today was different

I saw the life we've lived

And how good it is

[aritaesea]

it will be worth it in the end.

[aritaesea]

i didn’t know what i was doing and i don’t want it.

[aritaesea]