It is the last with which my fingers pause and I struggle to find words. After all, in all my lifetime, while I wished for companionship, never did I think I would get this granted. That I did is a wonder beyond my wildest dreams.
I have never asked much from you, only that you be mine - but perhaps that in itself is a tall order to fulfil.
So, I would ask something from you, that is just as tall, for I fear it not happening just as I’ve feared it after catching glimpses and hints throughout our years together.
I ask only that you feel.
Whether happy or sad matters not. To feel is a human emotion. It is something precious and special. You will need it to remember the right and the wrong, the boundaries in every grey area - but not just for that. You will also need it for a girl that needs her father right now.
One day you will no doubt tell Syarri about the war you were and still are fighting, and the people that fell beside you - people like me. Crime is far-reaching, and there will always be collateral damage. But you must remember to be more human than the ice you carry within, or you will destroy what is left of the fragile family that remains.
Do not worry, Night Cipher. We both knew my injury or death was inevitable. Would you rather have me caged, or lost in the happiness of flight?
One day, I hope you are able to answer correctly. Perhaps that day is today and perhaps it isn’t.
I was happy to continue strong and proud, despite the threats. Whatever you think of my confidence, I would not bow to those kinds of people. And yes, we did tell each other ‘I love you’ before you left for work that day. All precautions were as you checked them, and all was in order.
Perhaps this note shows a semblance of foresight. It is not magical, but rather of practicality - that which I learned from you. After all, neither of is expected these criminals to be lying.
But, whatever the case, in war there are losses. To win a chess game you must sacrifice valuable pieces. That is the same in any war, my love, and I begrudge nobody for it.
For now, tomorrow, and ever after,
The happy-ever-after did no last as long as I could’ve hoped for, but I am content to have lived it with you.