Han Som Hatar Människan - Part 6: “All The Things She Said Running Through My Head” (Final)
! Smut Warning !
The time for Kvarforth to return for the second part of the tour had come. The next morning he had to travel back to Sweden. Now he was lying in the arms of Abigail after some really wild and rough sex, soaked with blood. At least Abigail was one of the few to actually enjoy this fetish of his and he appreciated it.
"What's your plan after I leave?" Niklas asked and there was a little tone of grief in his voice.
"The same as before. I will do my strip dancing whenever I am called and during my free time I will enjoy the rest of the life I have to live." Abigail replied blankly.
"Do you really want it to end this way? Didn't we go through enough?" Niklas raised his voice with disappointment. It was his last chance to act, so he couldn't miss it for the world. There was confusion written on Abigail's innocent face. She was about to say something, but he cut her off. "I don't want you to spend the rest of your days stripping in front of some men you don't even know. If you're going to strip for anybody, that's going to be me. I have an offer for you and I'm not leaving until you accept it. I want you to spend the rest of your days remaining with me."
"Niklas, do you even hear what you're saying? You're scaring me. You did take your pills, right?" The girl slightly pulled away from him frightendly.
"At least now don't treat me like a sick man - now when I am for once being straightforward with you. And please be kind enough not to throw this in my face. But I really want you beside me for as long as it's possible. I won't be able to take it if some day someone calls me to tell me you're dead and I haven't had the chance to tell you last goodbye." Niklas was being torn apart between his ego and his need for her, but in the end what would his ego mean if he didn't have her?
"Nik, I can't just leave my job..." Abigail looked at him regretfully. She couldn't believe he had actually found the courage to show her in one way or another that she was important to him.
"You keep doing so much for me. Let me do something for you while I still can. You won't need a job if you're with me."
"That's the problem. I want to take care of my own self."
"For fuck' sake, Abigail! Can't you swallow this pride of yours just for a while?"
"It's not only about pride, Niklas. It's about being a burden."
"You're so not a burden for me, but if you so much desire to work, I can find you something at Shining to work for. Just say you'll come with me." Niklas almost begged. He found himself being able to let go of his pride, otherwise the cost would be her. Abigail looked at him pitifully, wondering if he is to be trusted. On further consideration, he had never let her down and she had actually enjoyed spending time with him. She didn't want to rot all alone for the short time she had to walk the earth and he seemed like the perfect partner for her. Unstable partner, but still someone who could handle her ways.
"Alright then, I'll come with you. I'll quit work tomorrow morning." The girl agreed with mixed feelings. She still didn't know what to think of this new Niklas that appeared to her and seemed to be a real opposite of himself.
"There's something else. The thought of it was killing me even in my sleep, but I thought about it a lot and decided it couldn't be that bad after all. The thing is, Abigail, why don't we have a child together?" Niklas asked stuttering. That really scared Abigail and she jumped out of bed. Niklas wasn’t any less scared of the thought, but it was a risk he was willing to take for something to remember her by and this something to keep him sane when she is gone.
"Niklas, you really are scaring me. You don't want children, remember?" She squealed with the look of a frightened rabbit on her face.
"Could you listen to me, Abigail?" The man barked through his clenched teeth, but came back to his senses and exhaled deeply, hoping he hadn't scared her too much already. He also rolled out of bed and took the girl in his arms. He laid her down on the bed and hovered over her, only lips away from hers. "I had this talk with Christian and he might be young, but he gave me an idea, which I never thought I would approve. He thinks that we should have a child. This way you wouldn't have lived in vain and I would have something worth living another day for, because it would be like a gift from you." Niklas spoke with a gentle and caring tone as he ran his fingers through her hair soothingly. "Haven't you ever thought about having a child?"
"Well, I guess but..." Abigail stuttered confusedly. It was all getting too much, but Niklas was actually making a point. "What if I die during the pregnancy?" Her eyes teared up at the thought of the possibility.
"At least we would have tried, knowing we did it for each other. Why don't we do it now?" Niklas' voice suddenly turned seductive and his right hand caressed her bare left thigh. "The sooner the better."
"Let's risk it now or never then." Abigail whispered and pulled him in for a kiss. She now felt more attached to him than ever. Actually, she had never been so attached to anyone. She wrapped her arms tightly around him and deepened the kiss. He moaned as he lowered his body on hers. Without waiting for an invitation, he took his member in his hand and slowly pushed it inside her. This time Abigail felt it more intense than she had felt it before. Sure, it was only sex before and no matter how hot and wild it was, it never felt as intense as this time. This time there was something else to it. "Niklas!" Abigail moaned as she felt him stretching her deeply. She took his face in her hands and kissed him passionately. Niklas moved in and out of her slowly.
"Oh, yes!" Kvarforth moaned as the girl scratched his back with her nails, drawing blood. Of course, this put a perverse smirk on his face and it turned him on even more. He slipped his tongue in her mouth again and gave her one of those kisses that made her moan like a school girl. Abigail bravely gripped his ass and smirked as this earned her a moan from him. Niklas felt the burning need to finally cum, so he picked up his pace to his usual insane speed. He buried his face in her neck and concentrated on reaching his orgasm.
"Are you going to cum for me, huh?" Abigail teased as she licked his earlobe. The only response she got was a loud groan. "Come on, Niklas. Cum inside me!" She encouraged him. Niklas gripped the sheets tightly as he froze and his mouth formed the shape of an "o". He made a few last thrusts in and out of her and laid his body down on her lifelessly.
"That's right, baby." Abigail whispered soothingly as she was caressing his back. The crucial moment had passed and now only time could tell if it was meant to be or not.
Niklas was back on tour and even though the road made him hateful and grumpy again, he was happy to have Abigail by his side. They were staying at a hotel and Abigail decided to take a pregnancy test. The test was positive and this brought tears to her eyes. She didn't know if those were tears of happiness or disappointment. She didn't know if she regretted her decision for the simple reason she wasn't sure if she was ready to be a mother, but she didn’t really have the luxury to wait in vain.
"Two red lines." Abigail announced blankly as she stared at the test, thinking Niklas was alone in the room. She lift her eyes up just to see Christian sitting beside him. "Oops."
"Congratulations then." Christian smiled.
"I don't know how I feel about that. I don't know if I'm happy or if I hate either you or myself." Niklas noted, turning to Christian.
"Hate me all you want, but I'm pretty sure you'll be thankful one day." The younger man stated cold-bloodedly.
"Niklas, come on, man. You've got an interview booked, remember?" Peter peeked through the door impatiently. Niklas sighed and threw his head back in frustration.
"Life is beautiful." He said sarcastically and with disgust as he rose to his feet. He ran a hand through Abigail's blood red hair and walked out of the room, leaving her alone with Christian.
"Ready to be a mother?" Christian teased.
"I don't know if I'll live to be a mother. In fact, I could die right here, right now and Niklas' baby would never see the light of day."
"Don't be like that. Those dark thoughts are like his, not like yours."
"I'm scared."
"You? You are never scared. You lived through a whole month with a mentally ill man who throws knives at you."
"A mentally ill man, who was almost nothing like he usually is. As I said some time ago he was really behaving and definitely wasn't that much of an asshole, which made me love the sick fuck even more." Abigail admitted with a confused smile.
"Love him? It must be difficult loving such a complicated person like Niklas Kvarforth himself." Christian replied a little blankly, as the key word the girl used cut him with a knife a little below the heart.
"It is. But you must know what it's like, since you seem to look up to him."
"I do. I still do, even though I've been in the way of fire many times. I guess it's about accepting him the way he is. Then it's easier living with him. I'm glad he seems more stable and much healthier than some time before."
"How do you feel about the idea you gave him, now that it's a fact?" Abigail asked curiously.
"I've got mixed feelings, just like both of you. Not in a bad way, it's just that it was just another shot that I willingly sent into the enemy's field, but I did it for both of you. Whether you liked my advice or not, that's both of yours' business. You’ve taken it anyway, so it’s late for regrets."
"Since I know stuff and I have noticed them and understand what you meant, I'm going to be straightforward with you. I'm not sure if it would have ever worked between us Chris. It's not that you're not my type or something. You're a cute, handsome, talented young man, but I guess my fuck up-ness matches that of Niklas. No matter how often you remind him that he is crazy, you too are in your own way and everybody appreciates that. I appreciate what you told him, despite it working against yourself."
"You don't need to explain, Abigail. I might be young, but I understand. As long as you keep Niklas running, I'm ok with everything."
"That's an honest thing to say." Abigail smiled.
"Don't worry about the motherhood thing. Whether he likes it or not, Niklas will help. And you'll definitely be a MILF." He smirked.
"That's encouraging, thank you." The girl giggled. "Now we drink!" She announced victoriously as she sharply rose to her feet.
"Now..." Christian also rose to his feet, standing at least a head above her. "We drink and you don't, because it's dangerous for the baby." He crossed his arms.
"That really turns the scales down, you know."
"It's a responsibility."
"Well, I'll give you a responsibility, alright."
"Don't get me wrong, I'll miss the drunk you too." The blond man snickered.
"You want something to remind you of the drunk me?" The girl said challengingly.
"How is that even a question?" He shrugged. Abigail grabbed him softly by the jaw and slipped her tongue in his mouth, kissing him deeply. "That's it. Unless you're in luck and Kvarforth is feeling kinky some time again."
Taking care of the unborn one wasn't an easy job, keeping in mind who its father was. Abigail often was about to give up, which brought her to her beloved bottle of whiskey. That would usually happen when Niklas' mood was such, that he regretted wanting a child. If he had been more aggressive with his words, Abigail would run for the bottle, as she was being sensitive for the first time in her life because of the pregnancy. This reaction of hers would make him soften up a little and he would make her drop the bottle. The rest of the guys from Shining made sure he behaved more than ever, as he could threaten two lives at once with his controversial behavior. Those were nine heavy months, but the crucial day was finally close.
Abigail was sent to the hospital for finally being in labor. She had never been so scared before. Niklas was in the studio with the guys when he received a call from the hospital. The moment he found out what the deal is, he got all tensed up and worried. The day had finally come. The guys wanted to be present too, besides they had to watch over him, as if he was a criminal.
"You're a soldier, you can do it!" Niklas encouraged his girl the only way he could as he was holding her hand.
"It hurts so bad!" Abigail screamed in pain at the top of her lungs.
"You have to breathe!" The nurse encouraged her.
"It hurts!" Abigail cried again.
"Now push!" The nurse commanded.
"I can't do this!" She cried as she gripped Niklas' hand tightly.
"Oh yes, you can!" Niklas said tensely through his clenched teeth. After all the difficulties, a healthy little girl was born. The crew showered the baby and gave it to it's mother.
"What do you want to name it, Niklas?" Abigail asked lifelessly as she took the little human she had suffered so much for in her hands.
"I want to name her after you - Abigail." Kvarforth stated. He had a confused smile on his face.
"Abigail it is then." The woman smiled as she looked down on her newborn daughter.
"Are you supposed to breastfeed her now?" Niklas smirked.
"Kvarforth!" Abigail's jaw dropped in surprise and disappointment.
They had to spend one night at the hospital. Niklas had to stay with Abigail, so the rest of the guys decided to stay with him. They were out in the corridor, drinking coffee, while he was sitting on a chair and watching Abigail sleep. He admired her silently. Suddenly, she opened her eyes and in them Niklas saw pain.
"Niklas..." The woman whispered as she looked at him with tortured eyes and she exhaled.
"Abigail?" Niklas said confusedly. When he didn't get an answer he panicked. He quickly rose to his feet and hovered over her. "Oh no, you can't fucking leave me right now!" He shook his head as he noticed she wasn't breathing. He tried a mouth to mouth breathing, but no matter how hard he tried it wouldn't work. "Abigail!" He screamed in his panic and the guys peeked through the door. "Find a doctor right now!" He ordered angrily and a minute later the doctor showed up with a nurse.
"What is going on?" The doctor asked, hovering over the lifeless woman.
"She's not breathing. I tried!" Niklas hissed through his teeth as he stepped back next to the guys. The doctor did what he could, but it was too late.
"I am sorry." The doctor exhaled as he stepped away.
"No, no, no!" Kvarforth shook his head in disbelief as he took the lifeless girl's face in his hands. "Abigail!" He screamed angrily in pain at the top of his lungs. First his mother not so long ago and now the only person in the world that he could say he loved. Both gone.
Needless to say, Niklas turned as dark as he was once. No light in the end of the tunnel, only two little candles - the memory of his dead Abigail and the little Abigail that had only him. At the funeral he got both drunk and high, but after getting a punch in the face from one of the guys, he came to his senses and realized he's got responsibilities as a father.
The only people attending the funeral were the prostitutes that had once sheltered her, the guys from Shining and the few stripper friends she had. Her parents weren't invited, because Niklas knew Abigail would rise from the dead simply to spit in their faces if they showed up. Yeah, he wished. After the funeral, the five of the guys were sitting in their official suits with glasses of whiskey in their hands and no sound could be heard.
"Now what?" Christian ruined the silence.
"The same old song with a new voice. Pain. All over again. But you were right, Chris." Niklas, the sick fuck, leaned back and ruffled the younger man's golden hair. "If it wasn't for sweet, little, helpless Abigail, who has nobody else but me, now I'd be dead-drunk, high as fuck and covered in prostitutes. Or the strippers that came to the funeral. Life goes on as painful as ever. If nothing else, then at least I'll have enough of inspiration to write enough material for two albums." He said blankly as he rested his elbows on his thighs and took a sip of his whiskey.
Sure, life went on, but everything was tasteless. The whiskey, the blood, the pain and suffering of others - none of his weaknesses could satisfy him anymore. Only the little Abigail was making him smile now and then. He promised upon her mother's grave to be a good father and he did his best, but without her guidance it still didn't seem enough, even though the little girl seemed to be feeling fine. He never thought he would suffer over something "as replacable as a woman" as he liked to say and yet there he was - suffering over a woman. An irreplaceable woman.
"No pleasure can be liken to you
And no conquer can be equated to you
No euphoria can be compared to you
And no love can ever replace you
Because without me you're nothing, you're nothing
And without you I'm nothing
But together we are everything" - Shining "Tillsammans Är Vi Allt"